Hooo u speakinngg twoooooooo, spoookyy spectre????

MYYYY NAME ≠ "YOU"

speaking to U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? U2? know any other words?

 

Yes.

I would look into the disorder and see what I can do to help my kidz. I know mine isn't genetic...there might be a predisposition, but situation had a lot more to do with it.
I am a pretty outgoing guy when I feel comfortable with people. I would want to focus on that.
Seeing my nephew grow up (he just turned two), it gives me a hint of what to look for.

 

Yes and no. Yes because it must be incredibly satisfying at an old age to look at your kids and see where they got in their lives thanks to you, and because it gives a lot of meaning to your life. No because of how stressful it is and how much time away from your life raising your kids takes.

I decided to let my potential spouse make this decision.

 

And if your kid is a failure? Or if they're developmentally challenged, or die early, or whatever. What then? "Oh my kid is a lazy layabout, after all I've done for him!"

I sometimes wonder if my parents think this about me... And it makes my desire NOT to have children much stronger. I couldn't deal with an autistic or downs kid anyway.

 

No. I don't remember ever wanting kids at all, but I think when I was a kid myself I thought it was just an inevitable part of life. Then I got older and realized it was a choice and I knew I wanted to be childfree. Wouldn't give that up for anything.
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Yeah, but probably too old to now.

 

No[emoji28]

Infants make me uneasy. And the idea of caring for something that came from inside of me terrifies me. I have never imagine having a child around. It is something I never saw myself having or desiring. I honestly imagined myself being happily alone. No thoughts of child bearing or being in a relationship because I am content with just me. Maybe as I become older I may desire to have children. It is possible but as of right now where my thinking is at I don't want any.

I'll ONLY have children if I have a husband and if he want some. I'm not going to deny him children.

 

No, I'm quite happy just being godmother to my niece

 

Yes. Because they fetch a lot on the black market, and I could really use the money.

 

Yes

I'll handle it like every other parent that has it, all part of life. Hills and Valleys, I'll be fine.

 

I'm very glad I have my son - and my wife. At this point in my life I think it would feel sort of empty without them - having them has given my life meaning and it's wonderful seeing my son doing everything he does.

 

I don't really like how it's a gamble. You don't know what you are getting. You could get a healthy, smart, easygoing kid. Or you could get a hyperactive, sadistic, anger control management case. Or even worse it could have a severe disability and you will be stuck caring for it until the day you die or end up in a nursing home yourself. Can't return it back to sender.

It's amazing that people can even afford it these days. Preschool/daycare is over $1,500 a month.

 

I don't really like how it's a gamble. You don't know what you are getting. You could get a healthy, smart, easygoing kid. Or you could get a hyperactive, sadistic, anger control management case. Or even worse it could have a severe disability and you will be stuck caring for it until the day you die or end up in a nursing home yourself. Can't return it back to sender.

It's amazing that people can even afford it these days. Preschool/daycare is over $1,500 a month.

There's actually a kid like that next door to me now. I hear him through my wall - or when he's banging on it or kicking it. I think he's often there with his grandmother - I feel sorry for her, would be very hard dealing with that.

 

with the right guy, i might feel more receptive to having kids. no way am i having kids w/ a guy that doesn't treat me right and is not there for me.

i think w/ the dad's support, i might feel ok about being a parent and the challenges.

 

Maybe one day. Right now though? Probably not. There's still things I know I need to work on and improve on.

With the right person however, yes of course. Just not right now.

 

I'm not going to get anyone pregnant. other than that I'm pretty open to whatever happens

 

Absolutely not. I would not want to pass these genes on to my worst enemy.

 

I can't really say my sister didn't know what she was getting herself into because she did babysitting for years (on top of home health and waitressing) to pay for college. She knew what she was in store for but I think she has still been overwhelmed. I think maybe "in the long run" doesn't really have the same meaning and force behind it when people are young and ambitious and full of go power.

 

Only if I had a mine.

I can barely take care of myself, why would I selfishly bring kids into that environment?

 

NO, NEVER EVER!!! I hate them, they're horrible and annoying to me...
NO! NO! NO! NEVER! NEVER! NEVER!

 

I guess I've always wanted to have life figured out, you know, to have a good foundation and be capable in the world, before having kids. Well at this rate I'll probably be several hundred years old by the time my personal requirements are met. That's not exactly an answer to your question though. I want to have kids but only if I can be a good parent.

 

Nope. I don't think I would be able to handle having a child, since I can't even look after myself.

 

Yes/No

I'm going to come off as indecisive but I always thought that if I was able to meet someone and that partner wanted children, then perhaps I'd be OK with it-if and only if I manage to calm my anxiety by that point.

Right now, not being able to even take care of myself, I don't think being a parent is on my eventual to-do list considering my situation....

I think it's something you can't just walk into just because "you want to" or because everyone around you has done the same. We don't live in some 80's TV drama--or at least, I don't.

Maybe I don't get to say that and the reality will be that no couple is every truly prepared for everything (nor has good reason for wanting kids), but I feel you need something good going for you to wind up truly able to have kids.

For me, it's not having SA. I cannot confidently say I'll be able to raise my child properly and be there for them when they need me. There's countless situations I recall not being attentive to my relatives and situations where I suppose I behaved inappropriately. Unless I accrue enough experience by that point, I don't think my current track record of failed social attempts and limited understanding of relationships/emotions/psyche will prepare me enough even at a basic/human level.

A child needs a good role-model. Not someone perfect, but someone who will show them how to do things properly, someone to guide them, and someone to lean on. I don't posses traits that would be good for any of that. I'm caring and thoughtful, but that only goes so far. I still can't handle confrontations. I lack fundamental understanding of societal norms. I would be likely to pass on those traits/conditions to my kids if they saw me fail more than once (which is likely).

This is why I say that I would need to concur or settle with my SA in some form. I don't want to run the risk of having my kid go through the crap I did. I would want them to live a normal life (no offense).

In short, I don't believe in having kids on a whim and then figuring out the hard stuff later. I like to make sure I'm somewhat secure and ready enough to dive into that lifestyle (both mentally and otherwise).

 

I'm expecting. its a boy.

I already made a list of things to try and help combat the SA

He might inherit from me.

Like have him involved in school, no sittingaround the house, start working at 15/16,
get his licence at around 16-17

I want my child to be as independent and well rounded as possible.

 

I'm expecting. its a boy.

I already made a list of things to try and help combat the SA

He might inherit from me.

Like have him involved in school, no sittingaround the house, start working at 15/16,
get his licence at around 16-17

I want my child to be as independent and well rounded as possible.

is the dad planning on helping or being involved?

 

I did. 😬The school years are difficult, but somehow it balances out. I can even say it has helped in some ways, much like Immersion Therapy. My kids are adults now, but my stepdaughter wasn't able to be a parent, so I am now raising a 7 year old grandchild. I have days I think I can't do the school thing anymore, but I have no choice at this point. I will be 67 years old when she turns 18. My husband died 2 years ago, so things can be rough. But I will survive, just like I have my whole life.

 

I did. 😬The school years are difficult, but somehow it balances out. I can even say it has helped in some ways, much like Immersion Therapy. My kids are adults now, but my stepdaughter wasn't able to be a parent, so I am now raising a 7 year old grandchild. I have days I think I can't do the school thing anymore, but I have no choice at this point. I will be 67 years old when she turns 18. My husband died 2 years ago, so things can be rough. But I will survive, just like I have my whole life.

Good to hear your story - and I agree with you about the immersion therapy thing. It's amazing what we can do if we have to. My story is a bit like yours. Sorry to hear about your husband - that would be tough raising the little one on your own. But also lovely to have her around I'm sure.

 

no i dont want kids..

 

It's kind of irrelevant because I'm too much of a trainwreck to manage that.