Yep I have this problem. It always seems like I would try and talk at the wrong time and someone would always talk over me. If I have something to say in a group I always force myself to say it even if I think it's stupid. Sometimes I'm not heard so I just try and repeat myself until I've said what I wanted. One thing that helps a lot is to try and make eye contact with someone in the group you are talking to. Once they catch your eye they kind of lock on getting their attention and forcing them to listen.

 

Yes, happens all the time. either that or i am laughed at.

 

It happens to me as well.

It doesn't happen AS much as it did when I was younger, but it still does.

 

Yes. If people ignore you and can hear you they are just rude and judgemental scum.

 

This happens to me all the time. :stu



Dude, you got to stop calling people scum. All sorts of unfortunate crap happens to us in social situations without anyone being "scum". That's super harsh. They're just people.

 

I have this problem to, Im able to chat to one person a bit but groups are hard because others can answer and not just me and its like im invisible. Sometimes I say something and its just ignored! I can talk quietly but im sure they must have heard me.

 

Man it's good to know i'm not the only one facing this problem.

@All Panic No Disco, I can totally relate to that feeling like whenever you talk it's the wrong time and someone talks over you.

I guess I'm not good at turn taking in group conversations and I don't know how other people do that, like they know exactly the right time to speak. It's as if this skill just comes so naturally to everyone else but for some reason I never learned how to do it.

 

I guess I'm not good at turn taking in group conversations and I don't know how other people do that, like they know exactly the right time to speak. It's as if this skill just comes so naturally to everyone else but for some reason I never learned how to do it.

This. I find it hard to jump into a conversation. As soon as someone finishes speaking someone else starts talking before I can jump in.

The worst is when you finally jump in and people just keep talking like you're invisible.

I think when you're in a group where you don't have a lot of status people feel comfortable ignoring you or talking over you. If you're the boss or a leader you get more respect and attention.

And being soft-spoken doesn't help at all.

 

I'm not ignored all the time when I'm in a group. Once I manage to get a word in people will generally listen. I just seem to have a big problem with getting that first word in as people just talk too fast for me. I guess my brain is just slow lol.

 

If i'm with a group of friends, i'm able to have everyone's attention directed at me if I want (I'd rather not get attention or be a leader, though). If I don't know the people well, such as in a group I am assigned to in a class, i'll shrink into the shadows and everyone will pretty much ignore me if I try and say anything.

 

Depends on the group.

 

Generally people ignore me, Generally I come off awkward and it makes everyone uncomfortable when they DO listen. I'm better at 1 on 1 convos... totally.

 

Oh this happens to me too, @ awkwardsilent. Like everyone shuts up and they listen to me because they want to give me chance to speak. But the way they look at me is so threatening I stammer. And I believe they all think I am a stupid freak.

 

Yes... I can never make eye contact so it makes it even more awkward.

 

Yep.

 

I bet that if you grab an old, losing lotto ticket, and say in a moderately loud and excited voice, "I just won the lotto!", you will suddenly be heard and approached by more than one loving soul.

 

You have to contribute regularly in groups and establish a presence, or else people will ignore you.

Overcoming first impressions are difficult. You have to be personable from the beginning, introducing yourself to others and engaging in small talk. When people feel comfortable around you, they are more likely to respond to your comments because you don't feel like a stranger.

A part of what you're saying is correct. Some people equate soft-spoken and quiet to weakness, so you will encounter some loud extroverts who try to speak over you. Don't ever let that happen.

 

If I engage the group enthusiastically from the beginning and get them to laugh, they enjoy my company the rest of the day to the point where I could say something totally dumb and pointless and they'll give me a positive reaction no matter what. Whereas if I don't engage the group from the start, fading into the background for most of the conversation, and then I finally say something truly attention worthy, they won't pay me any respect at all.

 

Yeah, people just talk over me and I just eventually give up.

 

The cold shoulder. Yeah, I get that a lot, unless I'm with a friend. Hell, people ignore me here.

 

then i'd just raise my voice i dont take that **** from people. worst thing is sometimes i dont know anything about this topic, like the other week we were talking about neurotransmitter so i sat there for 15 mins like a ****ing idiot

 

People who ignore what you say may be feeling resentment or has a lot on their mind. Try to not take it personally. (Easier said than done)

 

Yes. Half the time, people will look at me in disgust for making a simple statement.

 

Usually what happens in a group is everyone starts talking to each other but not to me. It's like they sense I am different or something. I don't want to be the center of attention for sure, but I hate sitting there while every person is talking to someone except me. It makes me feel like even more of a loser. I do get ignored by a lot of people, not just in groups. I'll be telling something and they listen at first and then their attention gets focused on something or someone else right in the middle of what I'm saying. I usually just stop talking and feel embarrassed that I even said anything. A lot of times anymore I don't even bother because I get sick of the way people treat me.

 

Hahaha yeah. That's why i don't bother.

 

Because of those peope who ignores me... life is unfair!

Hi everyone, I'm a new user here. I've had social anxiety for most of my life, probably because I was bullied throughout primary school but also partly because I think it is just my natural disposition to be shy. In reality, I actually love talking to people and I am very opinionated, but when it comes to meeting new people and group situations I can be crippled by nerves.

I've noticed for pretty much all my life that whenever I'm in a group of people I don't know very well and I try to say something, often times I am simply ignored. I find it so strange because I am sure it's not possible that no one heard me and it's not as if I never say anything that is interesting. It is as if there is something about me which makes people simply feel like they should not pay attention, like I don't have a commanding presence. I don't want to be a leader or an attention seeker, but I just feel embarrassed when I say something and people ignore me. It makes me not want to talk in front of people. And it's especially bad in group interviews, which is something I have been facing a lot lately since I graduate university and I am unemployed. In fact, I have been told by two different companies (Nando's and a telephone charity fundraisers) that I was 'too shy' and 'didn't contribute enough to the group' during these kind of interviews. But I did TRY to contribute and every time I said anything someone just talked straight over me and the group ignored me. It's funny because I feel like the interviewers should be marking those people down as well because in a customer service situation it is important to not be too bossy and to be a good listener. But it seems that these days employers only want the people who talk the loudest.

Does anyone else have this problem? Has anyone overcome this problem? Any tips would be great as I have another interview on Monday and I am absolutely nervous and I don't want to let myself down again because of this problem.

You're not alone! Whenever I try to talk to other people, most of them just ignores me or just talk to me but only for a few seconds or minutes! :/ I also hate the feeling of rejection, even if I'm trying to be nice. I don't know why most people are like that towards me! I guess it's natural for shy awkward / socially inept introverts like me to be ignored most of them time... But I wish they should not ignore me if I were them! It's really unfair! :[