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1 Do you want to stop with drinking?

2 Don't you think professional help is needed?

3 Do you think you are an alcoholic

4 You are not alone we are with you so don't feel alone

 

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1 Do you want to stop with drinking?
Not completely, but I don't want to rely on it for social anxiety anymore. I wish I could just enjoy a drink or two here and there like most people, but I don't stop drinking because I want to continue feeling a buzz all day due to my social anxiety. And you never know what kind of social interactions will happen in a day. Someone unexpectedly coming to the house makes my anxiety go through the roof if I haven't been drinking, even if it's family members. Drinking every day has to be taking its toll on my body, so I exercise 6 mornings a week, simply because I want to almost "counteract" what the alcohol is doing to my heart/body, I guess. I tell myself that if I exercise that much per week and get my heart rate up, surely the alcohol won't make my heart just explode or something one day. Though, I know that can't be necessarily true.

2 Don't you think professional help is needed?
I do. I'm just anxious/nervous to get it. I don't want to be told what type of problems I have, although I know they are there and they are existent.

3 Do you think you are an alcoholic
I feel like that word can vary. I think I'm alcohol-dependent, but not an alcoholic. I know I abuse alcohol, I won't deny that. But I have a job (working from home because my social anxiety only allows me to do work-at-home jobs. Which, don't get me wrong, I love my job, it's what I went to college [online - again, good 'ol social anxiety at its best], but there's part of me that wants to interact with people, but I cringe at the thought of it).

4 You are not alone we are with you so don't feel alone

Thank you. I appreciate this so very much. When you suffer with something like social anxiety, it really does feel like you're alone, so it's nice to be reminded that I'm not alone. And some people in life think they know what you are be going through when dealing with this disease, but they don't truly know unless they suffer from it themselves. Again, thank you.

 

Drinking is definitely not a answer... Isn't there any other ways to cope?

 

Honestly, I'm not sure. If there are other ways to cope, or if you have any suggestions and ideas on how to cope in another way, please. I'm all ears.

 

Alcohol helps with the social anxiety. But its a double edge sword. It will cause you problems as well. So drink in a responsible manner

 

Thanks for your reply. I do agree with what you're saying, that's why I do worry about my alcohol consumption, and I'll hopefully find an alternative on how to manage.

 

I was the same way. I would rely on alcohol and other stuff every time i went out. It helped in a way because before that i had trouble just having a conversation. My body hated it and I always ended up saying something that I regret and then I would beat myself up. Moderation.

 

So do you have any other ways that you cope with your social anxiety now? I'm definitely open to new ways on how to handle it, but alcohol is just the easiest I've found so far. One thing I'm good at is handling my alcohol, so I never say anything I regret. But when I drink, I just feel normal to be honest. It calms my social anxiety and it relieves me of any emotions I have toward myself or others. It just works right now. But I'd love to hear about any other coping mechanisms you've found that help. Thanks!

 

this topic reminds me of this article https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/...com/us/blog/insight-therapy/201009/emotional-acceptance-why-feeling-bad-is-good

from the article

Avoiding a negative emotion buys you short term gain at the price of long term pain. When you avoid the short term discomfort of a negative emotion, you resemble the person who under stress decides to drink. It 'works,' and the next day, when bad feelings come, he drinks again. So far so good, short term. In the long run, however, that person will develop a bigger problem (addiction), in addition to the unresolved issues he had avoided by drinking.

 

I get a lot more extroverted when I'm drunk so I understand the temptation to use alcohol as a coping mechanism when it comes to social situations. However, you should definitely be wary of it. Alcohol addiction can have devastating consequences. It's not worth it imo.

 

Some kind of prescription medication might relieve your anxiety enough that you would no longer need to drink.

It's not ideal, swapping one substance for another, but taking an antidepressant or anti-anxiety med has got to be better for you than drinking every day.

 

I used alcohol to cover up my anxiety. Now I'm a sober alcoholic with severe anxiety. I think the alcohol just moved the problem further down the road. It definitely didn't fix anything.

Drinking felt great to me until it didn't. Ultimately it almost lead to my death. I guess the plus side is that the desperation to get sober, needing to open up to people in order to save my life, helped me connect with people for the first time. I met some of my very best friends through AA, which is big considering that speaking in front of a group is something I NEVER thought i'd do!

There's nothing inherently wrong with drinking, but I think it concerns you or you wouldn't have posted it here. Feeling like you need a drink just to make it through is a pretty yucky place to be. At least it was for me. Unfortunately my anxiety is still there in a big big big way (hence finding this forum), so I don't have any real solid alternatives for ya.

 

I used alcohol to cover up my anxiety. Now I'm a sober alcoholic with severe anxiety. I think the alcohol just moved the problem further down the road. It definitely didn't fix anything.

Drinking felt great to me until it didn't. Ultimately it almost lead to my death. I guess the plus side is that the desperation to get sober, needing to open up to people in order to save my life, helped me connect with people for the first time. I met some of my very best friends through AA, which is big considering that speaking in front of a group is something I NEVER thought i'd do!

There's nothing inherently wrong with drinking, but I think it concerns you or you wouldn't have posted it here. Feeling like you need a drink just to make it through is a pretty yucky place to be. At least it was for me. Unfortunately my anxiety is still there in a big big big way (hence finding this forum), so I don't have any real solid alternatives for ya.

First of all, congratulations on your sobriety! I do feel for you since you are still suffering with severe anxiety. That's what I'm worried about - if I don't drink, I'll just end up with severe anxiety with no way to control it, and simply fall back into a drink. If I don't drink and I start thinking about my social anxiety, it makes me crave a drink. It's tiring, but it works. It also costs a large amount of money.

May I ask what complications you had from alcohol that it almost lead to your death? I relate to the word you used: "desperation," because I almost feel desperate at this point, with my social anxiety. I'm very guarded though, so I just don't know how well I'd connect with people at AA, but I guess it would be worth a shot if I felt I truly needed it. But I admire your dedication and work toward becoming sober.

You are right, though, my drinking does concern me. Believe it or not, my boss (of all people) told me that he has anxiety and smokes weed to make it "settle down."

I am sorry that you're still dealing with the anxiety. I appreciate your response. Best of luck to you, and if you want to have a chat through this forum's messenger thing sometime, I'm open to that. I'd honestly be very interested in hearing more about your story of sobriety. Best wishes.

 

I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling so. I can relate very much to what you're saying. The physical manifestations of panic can be overwhelming. Have you tried medications such as benzos. They get a bad name but if used situationally they can be a good tool. Note: They can be addictive so if you feel like you're an addictive personality then it might be best to pursue alternative treatments.

I've been using alcohol medicinally for 50 years. Well, the first ten can't be termed medicinal. I got drunk a lot then. But after that I've always used it to a certain degree and it works up to a point, although nothing like it did at first. I've never drank every day. And I'll take extended periods of abstinence just to clean out my system a bit (not sure how effective that is but it puts me at ease a little).

I'm worried you're drinking every day and that it's resulted in the loss of someone. If you're looking for advice the best I can give is therapy. I bit the bullet and went and, yes, I was freaking out but I found an understanding therapist who helped me in ways I didn't expect. Take care. :squeeze

 

Hi, thank you for your response! And thank you for your concern. I've actually never tried a medication for my social anxiety. I've heard it can help. I do have a very addictive personality, and that's a huge flaw for me. I was addicted to gambling about 6 months ago and lost almost all of my money, and I ran my credit cards up to the max, plus some more. I'm now trying to dig myself out of debt on top of dealing with social anxiety and consuming alcohol everyday. I just don't know if I'd trust myself to switch from one substance to another (benzos, as you mentioned).

You mentioned you would take long periods of abstinence, and I used to do that, but now I don't. I just give in to the drink because it makes me feel functional.

I do think about that person that I lost due to drinking every single day, so that's also on my mind, but never enough to make me want to not drink. I just think I'm in a dark place, and I need help coming out of it, but I don't know where to look for that help. That's why I started searching for others like me, who could relate and actually suffer from this horrible problem. It's just nice to be able to relate to people who have the same disease, especially the ones who have beat it.

Honestly, therapy has sounded good for about the past 2 months, but I'm just nervous to make the first step towards that. I've searched numerous times on where to get therapy near me, but I never call or follow through on anything. If I went to therapy, I would absolutely have to have a drink or three before going.

It's always been so weird to me because alcohol makes me open up to people, but it also makes me reserved. I don't know.

 

I recall reading somewhere that a high percentage of alcoholics have social anxiety 😞

 

Also, sorry. I'm not very good with forums and quoting people. I have rarely used forums, so if my post looks weird, that's why. lol

 

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I "self-medicated" with alcohol from ages 19-23. It was more to deal with depression and general anxiety than SA per se, but it's a similar thing. At that point in time, I did not know that alcoholism ran in my family, so I was very susceptible to addiction. (Thanks, mom.) I have been sober for many years now.

They call it "self-medicating" because it works -- but very briefly, and with more negative long-term effects than positive ones. If you feel like it's become a problem for you, it has -- different people define substance abuse and reaching the point of abuse in different ways, but if you're feeling concerned, that would seem to indicate you would prefer a different way of coping.

 

I can't. I'm allergic to alcohol so it makes my skin red.

 

O hai, I like your avatar. I rely on fluoxetine hcl 20mg for mine and it even gets rid of depression, sometimes. I know that alcohol longterm is actually going to give you more depression and bodily harm, than say chocolate. But yehaw, it's pretty common to do drugs to escape reality, I do it too with fluoxetine I just realized. Because it's hard to keep up every day, every day is just like a repeat, and I need to keep myself away from social media and instant gratification for a few minutes and hours to be able to focus my attention/will on my present reality so I won't become a homeless ***** from hell. Yeah for now it's best for you and me to just escape reality, especially in our younger years when we can still play runescape in our grandparent's basement instead of ****ing college babes. Right on!