I have this same exact problem! I'm in college (freshman), but it's been like this my whole life. Literally, any guy near my age intimidates me. I'm not too picky with guys, but any that are attractive or I could potentially like, make me have mini heart attacks if I'm anywhere near eye contact or have to say something. Actually, any guy makes me anxious. It just gets a lot worse if I have any interest in him. It's only guys around my age though.

I'm just ridiculously awkward around the opposite sex. I had some male friends in high school, but it took a long time to become less and less awkward around them (and most of them I talked to online more than in person anyway). I met nearly all of them through my other friends. I didn't have crushes on them either (well a couple of them I did like at certain points in time but that's not the point). I was just so awkward, I don't even know why.

Even something small like handing back a pile of papers a teacher hands out to each row/aisle/whatever in the class can make me anxious if the person I hand the pile to is a guy.
Another time (and this is probably going to sound really ridiculous), a bunch of Zoology students and I were waiting to go to a study session. I was standing by the door which is next to a big bulletin board. This guy looked in my direction a couple of times, then he walked up to the board to read it and then walked back twice. When he was coming towards me (actually the bulletin board), I was fighting back shaking and having a heart attack because I was afraid he was going to talk to me.

I've gone to public school all of my life, and have had guy friends in elementary and high schools.

This isn't to say I can to talk to fellow girls with no problems. Although it's a LOT easier for me once the initial "Hi" is over. With a guy? My voice is a weak, mumbling mess. I'm doomed to be single for life...

 

you are in the situation a lot of guys are in, talking to girls. this is the first time i actually hear a girl is nervous talking to boys. if this is any help, let yourself be lead by the guys, you arent expected to do a lot of talking anyways.

 

I can talk to them. But have Zero male friends. Went to an all girls school. My father was absent. My grandfather wasn't part of my life. I have a sister. Mostly girl cousins. I just don't know how to form non-sexual relationships with them. Not even romantic or platonic. I think its socialization. But I can't relate and I get so awkward around them.

 

I'm a 23 yearold guy and i have a lot of fear of women, how i am trying to get over it, even though it is very hard, is just not trying so much with words but focusing on my non-verbal communication. I think you'll find that people aren't paying so much attention to what you say, what they are noticing is how you feel.

 

me too and it's because i'm androgynous and boyish looking so i just assumed all guys will not want to talk to me because they prefer the girly girls. i'm not even interested in them but i just worry that if i try to talk to them that they would ignore me. i also went to an all girls' school so i'm not used to conversing with guys.

 

Oh so true. I feel like I am being rated by guys (I know girls are judgmental but not in the same way) and although I'm mostly happy not being girly, I'm afraid guys won't like me because they won't see me as much of a girl or a guy. I know if people are that shallow I shouldn't care what they think but at the same time I fear rejection.

But yeah... I am so awkward around guys. I can really sympathise with the other stories! I usually have to will myself not to blush when I meet a guy. I blush a lot around girls too but it's more embarassing with guys because I'm afraid it will be read as attraction (which may or may not be true). Argh! So annoying Like anything though, exposure helps...

 

most of the time I find guys are easier to talk to than girls... you don't have to deal with the whole cattiness thing with boys.

 

I'm the same, but with women. I'm nervous around guys too, but it's much worse around girls because they're like a higher species to me and I'm extremely afraid of screwing something up around them. I never had any female friends so I don't know how to interact with them.

 

I'm the same as you Ape in space, men still give me a bit of anxiety.

I was talking to one of my most confident friends the other day and he says sometimes he doesn't know what to say around women and that they make him anxious at times.

I get anxious and lost for words around women too.

I think it's natural in our day and age almost. I wouldn't worry too much, you'll get used to us fellas. Hopefully i'll get used to women too

 

I actually get more shy around girls. Guys seem to be more accepting of my quirks quiet nature. I hate that I have no female friends. I just attended a wedding and it makes me sad to think that if I got married I'd have no one to plan my bridal shower or be in my bridal party.

 

I'm in the same boat. Im 23 and I can talk to guys, but I cant form relationships with them. I have zero guy friends. I dont know what really to say to them, they seem like aliens to me. I dont think they understand me or they think I am really weird or something.

 

This shyness died down a lot after I left school but when I was your age I had horrendous shyness of females my own age or similar ages, a large part of it was because I would blush around them and therefore I felt like I was "giving myself away" in terms of uncontrollably revealing my sexual attraction for them. But this might have just been because girls and guys are different in gender. This is therefore a novel situation and can activate the fear response simply because of the novelty of it. This classic child-like shyness has now been replaced by more of a high mistrust and hostile fear of them plus I find it hard to relate to them and they feel like they are aliens to me or vice versa.

You should look at guys as not people who are better than you in anyway. They eat, sleep, crap and fart just like everyone else. Don't look at them as the species that your gender mates with since this is often the the core reason for all the shyness in the first place. But also remember that you are a female and think of what role you play. I'm saying when you go after a guy you need to relate to the guy as a female with basic instincts or 'needs', no shame about expressing the need for love and affection. Do you judge how guys comes across? Probably not. They probably also don't sit there judging you how you talk to them. Remember that most guys and girls will feel shy with one another but many can just hide it well enough away. Are you shy of being shy around guys? If you are then this is simply shame of being shy. This will amplify your fear. Embracing your shyness is the best option here or just pretend to be confident because people take others at face value. Perhaps the best way to talk to the guy is to do the old eye contact thing with him and see how he responds. Then you will have to make your move and the best way is to dive into the deep end, ie, get straight to the point. No small talk since this could leave you losing your nerve. Conversations can die because fear can make you freeze up and not want to say anything for fear of judgement or simply you have very little to talk about. You might need to do things together. But having nothing to talk about will normally dissipate once you get intimate and sexual intimacy helps with getting to know the other gender better and seeing what all the fuss is about with them. Lacking experience with guys, when you interact with them, a vacuum is created that anxiety moves in to fill. Once you rake up experience with them, the vacuum is filled with past knowledge.

Though here is a nice little trick to help you feel better around guys. You first need a stimuli to associate the good feelings you will activate when you need them. You can use a rubber band for this. You basically imagine something in the past or imagine a scenario that makes you feel confident, happy, proud etc about yourself. Any good feelings. Then at the height of these feelings, snap the rubber band that you place around your wrist. You need to use the same area of your body for this. And you need to practice this for at least a few weeks before you can instantly call up those postitive feelings when you need them. The next time you cannot do something because you feel way too shy then you snap the rubber band and it should cause the positive feelings to push the negative ones out of the way.

 

This shyness died down a lot after I left school but when I was your age I had horrendous shyness of females my own age or similar ages, a large part of it was because I would blush around them and therefore I felt like I was "giving myself away" in terms of uncontrollably revealing my sexual attraction for them. But this might have just been because girls and guys are different in gender. This is therefore a novel situation and can activate the fear response simply because of the novelty of it. This classic child-like shyness has now been replaced by more of a high mistrust and hostile fear of them plus I find it hard to relate to them and they feel like they are aliens to me or vice versa.

You should look at guys as not people who are better than you in anyway. They eat, sleep, crap and fart just like everyone else. Don't look at them as the species that your gender mates with since this is often the the core reason for all the shyness in the first place. But also remember that you are a female and think of what role you play. I'm saying when you go after a guy you need to relate to the guy as a female with basic instincts or 'needs', no shame about expressing the need for love and affection. Do you judge how guys comes across? Probably not. They probably also don't sit there judging you how you talk to them. Remember that most guys and girls will feel shy with one another but many can just hide it well enough away. Are you shy of being shy around guys? If you are then this is simply shame of being shy. This will amplify your fear. Embracing your shyness is the best option here or just pretend to be confident because people take others at face value. Perhaps the best way to talk to the guy is to do the old eye contact thing with him and see how he responds. Then you will have to make your move and the best way is to dive into the deep end, ie, get straight to the point. No small talk since this could leave you losing your nerve. Conversations can die because fear can make you freeze up and not want to say anything for fear of judgement or simply you have very little to talk about. You might need to do things together. But having nothing to talk about will normally dissipate once you get intimate and sexual intimacy helps with getting to know the other gender better and seeing what all the fuss is about with them. Lacking experience with guys, when you interact with them, a vacuum is created that anxiety moves in to fill. Once you rake up experience with them, the vacuum is filled with past knowledge.

Though here is a nice little trick to help you feel better around guys. You first need a stimuli to associate the good feelings you will activate when you need them. You can use a rubber band for this. You basically imagine something in the past or imagine a scenario that makes you feel confident, happy, proud etc about yourself. Any good feelings. Then at the height of these feelings, snap the rubber band that you place around your wrist. You need to use the same area of your body for this. And you need to practice this for at least a few weeks before you can instantly call up those postitive feelings when you need them. The next time you cannot do something because you feel way too shy then you snap the rubber band and it should cause the positive feelings to push the negative ones out of the way.

What you wrote was really helpful

 

I'm exactly the same, so i can't really help...

 

come on we're not so bad.

 

you're scary. sorry.

 

Don't push yourself too hard. I know it is easier said than done but there is always a guy out there who will take you as you are and love you the way you are and who knows how to get to you. And i promise you, sooner or later it just happens and you laugh about yourself that you once were afraid of this guy your now in love with.

Maybe i am too romantic. Its kinda hard in school or college, every other place is better to find someone... And if you want to get near guys you can stick to girls who are good with them (there's always one). This helps to loose the fear and get to know some better.

 

I'm the same way. except I am a guy and I can not talk to girls.

 

I have similar problems. My fear of boys developed sort of in grade 11'ish when there was this boy chasing me like crazy, at that time I was having serious social anxiety aaround all human, and then afterwards this anxiety somehow developed into fear of mostly boys, girls not so much. and for me, it is not only boys my age, it's all guys who are same age or older than me, even much much older men. Now I really want to have a guys friend, some guys know that I am afraid of them so they avoid me, this is convenient but still i feel hurt.
Well at least I can tell you that ur not alone! does that feel any better ?

 

I'm the same. don't think it helped going to a girls' school!

 

why? do u think i will hurt you?
i can barely kill a fly without feeling bad.

 

me too! they scared the hell out of me

 

I'm not scared, but I'm uncomfortable around them.

I've never had a best male friend. I just cant get closer(even if they try to), I stand away automatically, it is really weird. I usually cant find any word to say. Another weird thing is, in fact I like boys more to be friends and I have more common interests with boys, but here is the result.
My only male friends were girly boys, so they are out of the situation.

 

I don't have an issue talking to my existing female friends, however finding new ones has become extremely difficult for me.

 

I first went to school with boys at 17. I never knew how to talk to them either. The ones I had crushes on, well, I was so embarrassed that I wouldn't even look at them. Well, I am no longer a girl, and there is nothing cute abut it at my age.

 

I've the problem among the girls.
A good workout for me is propranolol which fixes the heart pulse and voice crack.
I put half or quarter of a 10mg propranolol pill under my tongue and this little pill will dothat !

 

Sounds like me with women.

 

I'm the same way!! they value looks too much and if you're stupid and ugly at all they want nothing to do with you and treat you like you're worthless

 

I'm the same way!! Another part of my issue is boys are bad they're really perverted sick in the head and like creepy bad stuff and i cannot relate with that at all and they value looks too much and if you're stupid and ugly at all they want nothing to do with you and treat you like you're worthless

Thanks, I never knew this information about myself. But you've just enlightened me. :roll