This happens to me too. I think its because you dwell on the negatives instead of focusing on what went well. I always dwell on how i bad i think i sounded, how bad i must have looked like, what they must have thought about me etc

 

Yes. Because I know the person will inevitably leave sooner or later.

 

This. And the being drained part.

 

Yes.

 

I feel drained after being social because I'm an introvert. Maybe you're confusing being depressed with just being drained?

 

I understand this. Like you said, even when there is more good than bad. For me it's because I still look at it in the sense that things did not go perfectly. I may have missed an opportunity to speak up in a conversation or not broken out of my shell as much as I had intended.

I think like that because I worry when the next opportunity to "try" will come about. It could be weeks or months away, so if *this* night was not the night that I broke out of my shell, I worry it won't happen at all. In reality of course it cannot happen all at once but every time I have the chance to socialise I build it up beforehand as though it has to. (I Need to not do that!)

Also if you are like me and it takes a while to wind down after going out, maybe a few hours or so, it is natural that you will become a little tired during this time and I think that makes it easier for the anxious thoughts to come to the surface. So you start reflecting negatively on everything, a few days later though, when your mind is clearer, it can be easier to see the positives.

 

Yep, me too.

I need at least a full calender week in between social outings to recover back to normal.

 

I do. Though Im not sure if im expecting too much of myself :/

 

For me, its the fact that I'm alone again. I hate that feeling.

 

i agree, socializing can be draining.

 

yep

 

Yes, I tend to beat myself up if the conversation didn't go perfect (which it never does). It's exhausting!

 

Most of the time yes. Sometimes it feels good when everything goes as I want it.

I think part of the reason we mostly feel depressed after an interaction is because most of the time we basically get nothing out of it; it's not like we made a new friend or anything; we're still pretty much friendless, and we still have a reason to have SA. I'm thinking we would actually feel good about it if we actually get a friend out of an interaction.

 

i do

This week I made myself an extrovert because I heard a comment about me the day before; behind my back i heard someone say "we should put a bell around Brina". Because she's sooooooooooo quiet.

So I tryed my damndest to be out there and I was still depressed because deep down inside, I know it's not going to last long. And how I have to keep myself out there, I feel it's not me. But when I am being me, I'm alone. It sucks being me!!!!!!!!!!

 

Yeah, sometimes I do. It's either because I'm dwelling over some mistake I made while socialising, or I felt like a third wheel in the conversation/group, or I just feel depressed hearing about everyone else's really active social lives.

 

Yeah I feel the same.

I often compare myself to them and feel like a loser. I also worry what they thought of me. I'm not sure why you feel down after, maybe it's just because you are lonely again or you feel like you can't keep up.

 

Yep. My therapist said it's because I'm not getting what I want from those social interactions.

 

I feel GREAT after a good experience. But I do feel bad when I don't think things went too well, and I start to over-analyze things.

 

I feel depressed because it never goes how I want it to. I feel upset going outside anyway, whether I have to socialise or not. So long as there's something or someone that will make me feel bad, I'll be depressed when I come home.

 

I never feel more lonely than just after I have socialised. Being alone all day is nothing, but social contact can induce great sadness, especially if it went well.

 

That happens to me. Often I'll feel really depressed afterwards because I know it's all over and I probably won't see the people again for sometime. One night I remember feeling suicidal after my friend's birthday was over, because I doubted I'd see certain people again in ages (and I haven't). Another thing is that sometimes I'll walk away from social situations and really look at myself and feel pathetic compared to others.

 

I feel better alone than going out and suffering after, not even alcohol could help mask my SA. When going out with my old friends I always ended going home early, despairing on them.

 

Generally, when I'm socialising, my main thought is to bring it to a close ASAP and escape politely. This is because, like so many posters in this thread, I find socialising draining (and for me a bit discomfiting too).

Upon ending the said social engagement, the discomfit is transferred to my feeling that others seem so at ease when working a party, while I, as a general rule, hate every moment of it...

 

I also feel drained after socialising. Usually all night my mind will be focussed on swallowing because I'm terrified I'm going to choke, fixing my mind on swallowing is like a way of controlling myself and I daren't let go.

I always think the worst may happen and I may choke loudly so I suppress all my actions, I don't dance or if I do it's only for like one song, if I become aware of the urge to swallow I find it hard to think about anything else and have to leave the dancefloor, I don't want people to notice me fixated on swallowing all the time.

I don't speak as much as I'd like to cos I think 'if I strike up a friendship with this person and then choke, I'll have lost a friend so it's better to say little'.

By the time I get home my throat is sore but I think 'phew, nothing bad happened, I didn't choke' even if someone offered me £1,000 I wouldn't relive that night again.

But to answer the question, yes, I feel very alone after socialising, it's so true that after a day of chatty briefly to strangers, being pushed up against people on the bus, hearing fascinating conversations, queuing up for lunch, speaking to a careers advisor/driving instructor/tutor etc when you go home all of a sudden you feel lonely.

 

I know what you mean. After socializing (or in my case, attempting to) in certain events I have this tendency to overlook the positive things and just focus on the negative ones, like why this person was talking to me this certain way, or were people making fun of me this one time, stuff like that. And then I overanalyze like a nut. I think that's what drives me to feel depressed after being around people (sometimes even during said events, I am already fretting over things and overanalyzing, so I get to urge to run away and go home).

I agree with what others have said - that it's mostly because things don't really happen the way you want them to. Also I think I get sad because I felt like I really, really tried, but nothing came out of it. I don't really make lasting friendships in those events and people I've talked to there, I'm most likely going to be terribly awkward with again, the next time we do get to talk (and they're most probably not going to remember my name). I think that's why I get sad.

 

Not all the time but I sometimes can feel a bit depressed, yes. Im not even sure why really. It could be a combination of natural decompression, mental / emotional exhaustion or if I am overthinking things I can be filled with alot of self doubt. I dont feel this much when just hanging out with a friend or two, but if it is after a bigger event or get together with alot of people, I am more prone to feel this. I am thinking because I am easily overstimulated, it could be just an inevitable response for me.

 

I agree with feeling drained. I don't usually get depressed, but I often feel like I need to crash after I socialize. I will come home and collapse because I find it emotionally draining to be "on", which is what I feel I need to be in order to socialize with a group of people. If I have a good night with something I was worried about, I will feel content afterward but still depleted from pushing myself.