I still live with parents for now but I live in the outskirts of town, crazy far, gets pretty lonely. I work but when off house is empty so im pretty much alone and if I wanna go somewhere gas will drain my wallet, usual cure for bordem is to stay preoccupied really, staying busy, I seriously wanna get out of here it sucks, anyone in Yuma AZ need a roomie, I can cook lol

 

I hate living with my dad! lol

I'm not sure if I would like living alone or with roomies, but if I had to pick between my current situation and being alone, I would definitely pick the latter. So why don't you try and find roommates or move back home if you're feeling lonely?

 

I actually have an apartment with someone at the moment AND I also go home quite a bit. This is just because my college is about 45 mins away and I am a part time commuter, part time stayer. part time commuter when my SA acts up.

I was just remembering what it was like when I was all by myself. I truly like living at home more, but I feel like a loser. whatever.

 

....

this is like a catch-22....i hate living alone and have been doing it for many years..it sucks...though the only reason i prefer it is because i fear getting roommates and having people walk all over me...which is usually the case... worse, my mother recently said she wanted to live with me, which would be equally a nightmare- so either way i feel you're f*ked depending on the situation....I would like to have cool roommates but with my luck that wouldnt happen...but living alone can go either ways...sometimes it can be good but most of the time it sux...also I think its healthier to live with people--social interactions are a good thing and loneliness isn't, unless someone doesnt mind being alone, likes it, or has friends or other activities to pass the time with people...

 

I'm torn between not wanting the stigma of living with my parents and wanting the company of my family / comfort of home. Living alone just amplifies my loneliness. At my parents' house, I have people to talk to, and I basically live like a princess.

 

I'm torn between not wanting the stigma of living with my parents and wanting the company of my family and comfort of home. Living alone just amplifies my loneliness. At my parents' house, I have people to talk to, and I basically live like a princess.

My situation exactly. Well, except for the princess part...

I always thought that moving out IS the answer to all problems, but that was before I found out I have SA.
Now, the question in my mind is: will it be easier to fight the SA once I move out. I'm not so sure.

 

I've done both and they each have pro's and con's. But at this point in my life (almost 30), I'd prefer to be on my own. The social stigma is just too much. I feel so embarrassed about my living situation.

 

Actually, I don't think there's as much of a stigma nowadays. Due to the economy and student loan debt, a lot more young adults are moving back home:

http://youngadults.about.com/od/movinghome/a/Movingemotions.htm

 

I've done both and they each have their own perks and cons. I lived by myself and ended up depressed because I always felt so alone; I did the roommate thing but lived with people who were stealing money and doing so much stuff behind my back it caused me to freak out and take my level of SA to a new level. I now live on my own again and have to make sure I am always keeping some what busy or else I go back into that "fear of the world" stage that we can get.

 

I'd rather live with a friend than live alone, but I'd rather live alone than live with a random roommate/stranger.

I'd probably prefer any of the above to living with my family, as I do now (which isn't a knock on my family; I just have so little privacy here and I need my space).

 

^This.

I've lived alone for 10 YEARS out of the last 11 years. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm scared I might. I think with depression and anxiety, for the long term, being alone is NOT a good thing as much as everyone thinks it is. I have way too much time to be inside my head, to isolate myself, to answer to no one, to have no one to push me...this is not a good thing, I promise. Being alone satisfies my introvertedness and OCD tendencies, but to what end? I don't want to look back on my life and think, wow, I was so nice and comfortable because no one bothered me or messed up my house...lol.

 

Living alone can definitely feel lonely at times, but I prefer it to living with roommates. I lack the patience and temperament to share a living space with someone I'm not related to.

 

I've been backwards and forwards a few times from home, I've now lived by myself for six months and it's ok. I've gotten two girls into bed since living here which is two more than when I was at home. I'm paranoid about my neighbours seeing how much of a shut in I am at times, and it's expensive and lonely, and my apartment is small as hell and I get complaints if I put music on. I find it more difficult to relax when totally alone and in a confined space where I think other people can maybe see or hear me. I don't plan to go back home unless I have a complete nervous breakdown, I think I'm big enough and ugly enough to look after myself. My parents are in their 60s and deserve to be free of financial constraints, like a mooching manchild. I will admit to soul crushing boredom a lot of the time, but hey, that's life right?

 

Only people that acutally lived alone for six months or so and judge about this. I always wanted to live alone but it was the same for me too.

I felt like getting stupid, not able to think and often were bored. Even the stuff you can do alone like watching TV-Shows/Movies weren't as interesting as when I lived with others.

Long term it can be harmful, especially if you have no friends and no one to see. Otherwise living alone isnt really an issue, because you are only for the short time you are home alone and a lot of people live like that.

 

no more roomates. For me, sharing a place with a friend turned into a disaster twice. I'm scared to live with somebody. I'm just used to doing what i want, when i want.

 

Well I love living alone because I can hog the remote, I buy all my favorite foods and don't have to worry about cooking for someone else, I get the WHOLE bed and I sleep IN THE MIDDLE of it, etc. I have a hard time reconciling these things with the fact that I also like living with someone because, otherwise, I am extremely lonely. I love having someone around to talk to and watch movies with. I think, ultimately, I prefer being with someone. But while I'm living by myself, I plan to take full advantage of it.

 

Ive lived alone for about 7 years now. I might like a girl who I love to live me, but other then that, I prefer living alone.

I can do whatever the **** I want in MY house, and have whatever I want in MY house, its awesome. I have no problem with it.

 

I hate living alone. It is too expensive and I get bored with no one to talk to! I also like the security of at least having someone else there in case something goes wrong. I'm looking for a roommate currently.

 

I do enjoy living alone for the most part. With my SA I have high expectations of others, so most roommates go in my bad book eventually When I'm at home, I don't have to worry about those expectations for both me and the roommate, no potential conflicts. My finances are good enough to allow me to have the space.

But for those roommates that do pass the test, it was great having them around, allowed me to be more social.

 

when i live alone i'll make sure to involve myself in a lot of activities and it'll motivate me to go out and meet people. i'll probably live with a friend though, although i would rather a place of my own but it's expensive so i need a roommate to split the rent.

 

I consider living alone to be a tremendous luxury. There are some down sides, perhaps - if you're like me, you tend to never talk to anyone unless you're at work or school, and you probably die younger - but it's very relaxing to have a bathroom, kitchen, and living area all to yourself. I will live alone for as long as I can afford it.

 

I've lived with parents, lived with 'friends', and now i live alone i much prefer it this way, i can do what i want without having to put up with other peoples bullsh!t (i have an extremely low tolerance for other peoples poor behaviour), but yeah it does get lonely sometimes.

I think when you live alone, getting some new hobbies and/or maybe getting a pet is definetly a good idea to occupy your time and help not slipping into cycles of depression. I took up bedroom music production and djing, and also got myself a puppy and its helped my loneliness/depression/anxiety a lot.

 

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Living alone is torture!

I have spent a great deal of my life studying Sociology, if not for at least the primary purpose of trying to understand how to deal with living in a culture, that is the American Culture, of which I believe promotes very unhealthy ideas of lifestyle - the primary one of which is that it is 'ok' or healthy or even satisfying to live alone. Let me share my experiences of being alone - really it has been a torture for me;
1) I'm an only child, my parents divorced when I was 3.
2) My mother worked about 100 hours a week as a prominent surgeon, and was abusive (physically and emotionally) when I was with her. She tried to promote me to have values like 'Feminism' or "Independence" and failed miserably at it. I was repeatedly bullied throughout my school years - in fact, since I had juvenille obesity, I remember being bullied on my first day of school. My mother's response was that 'friends were not important', instead she insisted having a satisfying career was.
3) I left home at the age of 16, I couldn't deal with my mother's behavior - e.g. having boyfriends only a few years older than me.
4) I found that I was living in a continuous state of despair - never knowing whom to turn to or trust. I let myself become vulnerable - but just being a woman living alone puts one in a scary situation. I've been the victim of several robberies, rape, 2 car-jackings, 1 kidnapping and extortion, and domestic violence (which began with mommy dearest).
5) I sent myself to University - and that was the only time I felt I had a social context.
6) I have had extensive health problems, including the times when my face was bashed in by the car-jackers - and there is nothing worse than being in the hospital after a surgery with no one there for you. That is no one to visit you, no one to wish you well or anything. In fact, I don't have family in the US, my family all resides overseas. I don't know them very well, and wish I could connect with them.
7) I had a serious accident while cleaning a ceiling fan with a giant hematoma of my leg. It took me two days to get the strength to drive to the emergency room.
8) Last year I was hospitalized for several days for a sinus infection. No one came to visit me.
9) Both of my parents died alone, and one of my closest friends died last year, it took 3 days for anyone to find him.
10) People tell me that I'm strong, but I can't go on living like this. I'm now thi take care of myself and considered a reasonably attractive woman. I do suffer from chronic pain from the injuries that I have suffered from the violence I had experienced, not to mention the PTSD, but I'll always be afraid to go places by myself. I was car-jacked the first time at age 23, I don't think it is safe to go anywhere - especially affluent neighborhoods alone. I had one associate that was murdered in 2000 when she went to a dry cleaners in a very wealthy area. Last year, my physician's wife was robbed and car-jacked in a good area also. It just isn't safe to do things alone as a woman in America.
11) Building Contractors: Caveat Emptor - I have really been robbed by them - I now make sure to have a male friend pose as a husband and/or brother, and amazingly the prices of estimates go down.

I think I made a fairly good argument as to why it is unhealthy to live alone as a single woman. It's ridiculous that this society promotes it. Not to mention the effect on health - my adrenal gland went into shut down mode - yep - I had an almost fatal adrenal crisis from being exposed to years of stress. I have lived in other countries, including third world countries. I found that the more 'Westernized' the country, the poorer the quality of social life. I have 3 University degrees - but stress has rendered me permanently disabled. What a waste! Worse - unknowingly I moved into a neighborhood where 5 of my neighbors are die-hard feminists. After getting to know them, and asking them quite innocently how they were coping with living alone, I was met with a very negative attitude from that point on from them. They expressed to me that they enjoyed living alone and having independence. Independence from what? Compared to the other countries I've lived in, I would say that there is little real independence in the US, you are only going to have a good life if you are well connected socially. The infrastructure promotes isolation, with the exception of a few cities, people live in isolated settings where they must be dependent on a car. One year, after my physician warned me that I was headed for an adrenal shutdown (which he warned me could result in total body organ failure), I got on a plane and went as far East into Europe as I could get without a ViSA. During that year, living in a 99.9% Russian-Speaking city, I had more friends than the last 20 years of living in the US. When I returned, I was interrogated by Homeland Security for hours...they asked me why I was gone for so long (I stayed so long because I was happy and had friends). But I couldn't help but to blurt out my feelings, "I left because I don't like living in the US, it's too lonely and isolated, I couldn't take it anymore." I feel living alone is like being sentenced to solitary confinement in a prison without having committed a crime. When now 28% of Americans live alone, something is dreadfully wrong with the society. It's a society where there is little tolerance of diversity and little cooperation between neighbors, that's not a good life or a rich life! That's pure and simple insanity and I don't want to live like that or die in such a place; ALONE!

 

Living alone is torture!

Living alone is torture!
I have spent a great deal of my life studying Sociology, if not for at least the primary purpose of trying to understand how to deal with living in a culture, that is the American Culture, of which I believe promotes very unhealthy ideas of lifestyle - the primary one of which is that it is 'ok' or healthy or even satisfying to live alone. Let me share my experiences of being alone - really it has been a torture for me, here are some examples of my experiences;
1) I'm an only child, my parents divorced when I was 3, I didn't play with a child my own age until I went to kindergarden - because there were no children in the affluent suburb where I grew up.
2) My mother worked about 100 hours a week as a prominent surgeon, and was abusive (physically and emotionally) when I was with her. She tried to promote me to have values like 'Feminism' or "Independence" and failed miserably at it. I was repeatedly bullied throughout my school years - in fact, since I had juvenille obesity, I remember being bullied on my first day of school. My mother's response was that 'friends were not important', instead she insisted having a satisfying career was.
3) I left home at the age of 16, I couldn't deal with my mother's behavior - e.g. having boyfriends only a few years older than me.
4) I found that I was living in a continuous state of despair - never knowing whom to turn to or trust. I let myself become vulnerable - but just being a woman living alone puts one in a scary situation. I've been the victim of several robberies, rape, 2 car-jackings, 1 kidnapping and extortion, and domestic violence (which began with mommy dearest).
5) I sent myself to University - and that was the only time I felt I had a social context.
6) I have had extensive health problems, including the times when my face was bashed in by the car-jackers - and there is nothing worse than being in the hospital after a surgery with no one there for you. That is no one to visit you, no one to wish you well or anything. In fact, I don't have family in the US, my family all resides overseas. I don't know them very well, and wish I could connect with them.
7) I had a serious accident while cleaning a ceiling fan with a giant hematoma of my leg. It took me two days to get the strength to drive to the emergency room.
8) Last year I was hospitalized for several days for a sinus infection. No one came to visit me.
9) Both of my parents died alone, and one of my closest friends died last year, it took 3 days for anyone to find him.
10) People tell me that I'm strong, but I can't go on living like this. I'm now thi take care of myself and considered a reasonably attractive woman. I do suffer from chronic pain from the injuries that I have suffered from the violence I had experienced, not to mention the PTSD, but I'll always be afraid to go places by myself. I was car-jacked the first time at age 23, I don't think it is safe to go anywhere - especially affluent neighborhoods alone. I had one associate that was murdered in 2000 when she went to a dry cleaners in a very wealthy area. Last year, my physician's wife was robbed and car-jacked in a good area also. It just isn't safe to do things alone as a woman in America.
11) Building Contractors: Caveat Emptor - I have really been robbed by them - I now make sure to have a male friend pose as a husband and/or brother, and amazingly the prices of estimates go down.

I think I made a fairly good argument as to why it is unhealthy to live alone as a single woman. It's ridiculous that this society promotes it. Not to mention the effect on health - my adrenal gland went into shut down mode - yep - I had an almost fatal adrenal crisis from being exposed to years of stress. I have lived in other countries, including third world countries. I found that the more 'Westernized' the country, the poorer the quality of social life. I have 3 University degrees - but stress has rendered me permanently disabled. What a waste! Worse - unknowingly I moved into a neighborhood where 5 of my neighbors are die-hard feminists. After getting to know them, and asking them quite innocently how they were coping with living alone, I was met with a very negative attitude from that point on from them. They expressed to me that they enjoyed living alone and having independence. Independence from what? Compared to the other countries I've lived in, I would say that there is little real independence in the US, you are only going to have a good life if you are well connected socially. The infrastructure promotes isolation, with the exception of a few cities, people live in isolated settings where they must be dependent on a car. One year, after my physician warned me that I was headed for an adrenal shutdown (which he warned me could result in total body organ failure), I got on a plane and went as far East into Europe as I could get without a ViSA. During that year, living in a 99.9% Russian-Speaking city, I had more friends than the last 20 years of living in the US. When I returned, I was interrogated by Homeland Security for hours...they asked me why I was gone for so long (I stayed so long because I was happy and had friends). But I couldn't help but to blurt out my feelings, "I left because I don't like living in the US, it's too lonely and isolated, I couldn't take it anymore." I feel living alone is like being sentenced to solitary confinement in a prison without having committed a crime. When now 28% of Americans live alone, something is dreadfully wrong with the society. It's a society where there is little tolerance of diversity and little cooperation between neighbors, that's not a good life or a rich life! That's pure and simple insanity and I don't want to live like that or die in such a place; ALONE!

 

Living alone is torture!
I have spent a great deal of my life studying Sociology, if not for at least the primary purpose of trying to understand how to deal with living in a culture, that is the American Culture, of which I believe promotes very unhealthy ideas of lifestyle - the primary one of which is that it is 'ok' or healthy or even satisfying to live alone. Let me share my experiences of being alone - really it has been a torture for me, here are some examples of my experiences;
1) I'm an only child, my parents divorced when I was 3, I didn't play with a child my own age until I went to kindergarden - because there were no children in the affluent suburb where I grew up.
2) My mother worked about 100 hours a week as a prominent surgeon, and was abusive (physically and emotionally) when I was with her. She tried to promote me to have values like 'Feminism' or "Independence" and failed miserably at it. I was repeatedly bullied throughout my school years - in fact, since I had juvenille obesity, I remember being bullied on my first day of school. My mother's response was that 'friends were not important', instead she insisted having a satisfying career was.
3) I left home at the age of 16, I couldn't deal with my mother's behavior - e.g. having boyfriends only a few years older than me.
4) I found that I was living in a continuous state of despair - never knowing whom to turn to or trust. I let myself become vulnerable - but just being a woman living alone puts one in a scary situation. I've been the victim of several robberies, rape, 2 car-jackings, 1 kidnapping and extortion, and domestic violence (which began with mommy dearest).
5) I sent myself to University - and that was the only time I felt I had a social context.
6) I have had extensive health problems, including the times when my face was bashed in by the car-jackers - and there is nothing worse than being in the hospital after a surgery with no one there for you. That is no one to visit you, no one to wish you well or anything. In fact, I don't have family in the US, my family all resides overseas. I don't know them very well, and wish I could connect with them.
7) I had a serious accident while cleaning a ceiling fan with a giant hematoma of my leg. It took me two days to get the strength to drive to the emergency room.
8) Last year I was hospitalized for several days for a sinus infection. No one came to visit me.
9) Both of my parents died alone, and one of my closest friends died last year, it took 3 days for anyone to find him.
10) People tell me that I'm strong, but I can't go on living like this. I'm now thi take care of myself and considered a reasonably attractive woman. I do suffer from chronic pain from the injuries that I have suffered from the violence I had experienced, not to mention the PTSD, but I'll always be afraid to go places by myself. I was car-jacked the first time at age 23, I don't think it is safe to go anywhere - especially affluent neighborhoods alone. I had one associate that was murdered in 2000 when she went to a dry cleaners in a very wealthy area. Last year, my physician's wife was robbed and car-jacked in a good area also. It just isn't safe to do things alone as a woman in America.
11) Building Contractors: Caveat Emptor - I have really been robbed by them - I now make sure to have a male friend pose as a husband and/or brother, and amazingly the prices of estimates go down.

I think I made a fairly good argument as to why it is unhealthy to live alone as a single woman. It's ridiculous that this society promotes it. Not to mention the effect on health - my adrenal gland went into shut down mode - yep - I had an almost fatal adrenal crisis from being exposed to years of stress. I have lived in other countries, including third world countries. I found that the more 'Westernized' the country, the poorer the quality of social life. I have 3 University degrees - but stress has rendered me permanently disabled. What a waste! Worse - unknowingly I moved into a neighborhood where 5 of my neighbors are die-hard feminists. After getting to know them, and asking them quite innocently how they were coping with living alone, I was met with a very negative attitude from that point on from them. They expressed to me that they enjoyed living alone and having independence. Independence from what? Compared to the other countries I've lived in, I would say that there is little real independence in the US, you are only going to have a good life if you are well connected socially. The infrastructure promotes isolation, with the exception of a few cities, people live in isolated settings where they must be dependent on a car. One year, after my physician warned me that I was headed for an adrenal shutdown (which he warned me could result in total body organ failure), I got on a plane and went as far East into Europe as I could get without a ViSA. During that year, living in a 99.9% Russian-Speaking city, I had more friends than the last 20 years of living in the US. When I returned, I was interrogated by Homeland Security for hours...they asked me why I was gone for so long (I stayed so long because I was happy and had friends). But I couldn't help but to blurt out my feelings, "I left because I don't like living in the US, it's too lonely and isolated, I couldn't take it anymore." I feel living alone is like being sentenced to solitary confinement in a prison without having committed a crime. When now 28% of Americans live alone, something is dreadfully wrong with the society. It's a society where there is little tolerance of diversity and little cooperation between neighbors, that's not a good life or a rich life! That's pure and simple insanity and I don't want to live like that or die in such a place; ALONE!

I found this such an interesting and thought provoking post Juliya32, thank you for writing it and sharing your experiences. From years of posting and reading forums on the internet I have 'got to know' many Americans (I'm from the UK) and formed a strong impression that life out there can be EXTREMELY lonely. I heard that the average American has only two close friends, and that quite a big percentage (maybe a quarter) of people have absolutely NO ONE they can confide in.

It's hard to get out and about if you don't have a car. Many places are just not designed for pedestrians, and the public transport provided is minimal. Here in London public transport is excellent - though also prohibitively expensive for many.

I agree that Western society in general should be less keen to promote the single lifestyle to women, and to men too probably. I'm thankful to live in a quiet part of London, where car-jackings, shootings etc would be a rarity/almost unheard of.

It's so interesting to hear how much better you did in the Russian speaking country. The UK does tend to go the way of America in too many ways, but thank God we have sensible gun laws, a less violent culture and are able to walk places and travel on buses and trains...

As for me, I'm ambivalent about living alone. Like some other posters, I find it's far from ideal when you suffer with depression and anxiety. If I had the choice, I would live with a partner, but I'm 51 now and wonder if I will ever meet one. I have my cat, who is a great comfort, but she is old. When she goes I will seriously consider getting a dog if I feel I can make the commitment.

Living alone for me means having to constantly make plans to be out of the house and mixing with people however I can. Friends are very important indeed. If I had someone living with me I could enjoy being inside the house more, or in the garden in the warmer weather. I often don't want to go outside but I have to or I will go stir crazy.

The hardest times though, are when I am depressed (I have bipolar). The comfort and reassurance of other people's company, just knowing they are there, means everything at those times. Depression is a terribly isolating illness and living alone can definitely exacerbate it.

 

I hate it just because of my financial problems, wish I had parents I could mooch off of like everyone else my age

 

i hate living alone.
that's why i finally got a pet.
helped a little.
but it sucks to live alone.

 

I would love to live alone. I'm so tired of having roommates.

 

Yeah I'd hate living alone. I think I'd die of loneliness and heartbreak if I ever had to live on my own for a long period of time (a month or longer).

As annoying as my family can be, seeing them reminds me of why life is worth living. Same with my friends.