[fellowdeer]

I've only had serious relationships online (long distance relationships) but never dated anyone physically yet which although I'm 20, sometimes I like to think it may be nice to have a significant other. I'm similar to how you feel. My days currently are like, I live in a college dorm, I only have one roommate which we only talk when we're both outside of the rooms. I attend my classes, I do homework, I eat, sleep, usually looking at videos or at my social media, the one thing that is missing is my social connection.

I have some social anxiety, if people talk to me, I don't mind, I won't back away but for me to approach someone is like "nope." I'm quiet in general but my mind is not quiet since I have depression and anxiety which argues with me sometimes.

The only way I think I can try is to at least try to attend these group sessions (if students ever bother to join) to hope I meet others and have some guidance on relationships, depression, anger, etc. It's also hard that I'm honest with people about my mental health but when my mental illnesses get on top, people leave me and that breaks me to the point I've attempted suicide because it felt like an never-ending cycle so now I'm going to stay put and hope my forth year of college will be more stabled for friendships. People make things feel safe for me then they end up getting scared and leave me without why, how sickening.