That is a situation many find difficult. You're definitely not alone. I have sometimes needed to introduce myself in a meeting involving customers though the typical introduction there is "I'm <name>. I'm a/the <position> with/at <company>." No need for personal details there but it's very difficult for me anyway. I won't settle down and feel ok with people I don't know until we get down to business and I come slowly to see that these people are ok, just other reasonable human beings that don't intend me harm. And I know that's what introductions are for. Normal people be like, "ok, we're introduced. I'm comfortable with them now." Not me. Not that easily.

I'd try not to be too hard on yourself. A senior level person can be very quiet and a bit reserved or shy or unsure of themselves and it doesn't make me think this is unfitting for their position. They probably are where they are because they are very competent rather than just someone's best friend. I wish I could say I knew someone in this position, but the closest person I can think of to this was my manager's manager where I used to work and I was perfectly terrified the couple times I actually needed to talk to him directly. I was never able to form an opinion of him, although I disliked his lack of engagement.

 

I sympathize with you brodey. When I entered the job force many years ago I avoided jobs that required me to speak. I was so paralyzed by fear and yes I had that same heart pounding sensations as you did in small meetings.

I'm proud to say that I no longer suffer from these symptoms. One of the methods I used to get over this was to ask myself why I was feeling this way. It traced it back to my childhood when I was embarrassed as a child by my parents in front of my relatives. Shaming was one of the ways my parents disciplined me as well.

To get over it I started to ask myself what was causing my fear and is it real or perceived. Obviously it was not a real fear and it was all caused by me being a people pleaser.

One of the methods you can use in a situation such as a meeting where you have to do impromptu speaking is called PREP (Point, Reason, Example, Point).

So you can say:

Point: Hi I'm Brodey
Give A Reason: I the manager of the marketing department
Give An Example: I've been working here for 5 years
Re-emphasize The Point: I look forward in sharing how my marketing department can help better assist you.

This become more comfortable with practice. What you can do to improve is just look at a newspaper. Pick a word and start speaking out loud about that word using the P.R.E.P method.

I practice this when I drive in my car. I would see a bill board ad and pick something really obscure I know nothing about and start to speak about it for 1 to 2 minutes using this method. This method never fails me and with practice will make you look like an expert in anything when you speak. You can also get witty as you get more comfortable. With practice you will find your own style.

 

This is called anticipatory stress. The longer it takes until my turn, the worse things got. You can convince yourself all you want that its no big deal, and then BOOM, so difficult.

Introductions can be very hard compared to just being able to freely ask a question or make a comment in a meeting. The latter being easier because you know in your mind that you can stop whenever you want.

 

I'm in a position where I constantly have to be in meetings to provide technical feedback or give presentations to teams in my org as well as 3rd party groups. Even though I've done this a thousand times, every time I hear the words "let's go around the room and introduce ourselves" it's like a kick in the balls. I know exactly where you're coming from with the heart palpitations as, even thinking about it now, I'm experiencing it. What I do sometimes that helps me, is say something completely outlandish to make everyone laugh - after that, it doesn't suck as much. Moreover, most people get into long intros, listing out their entire resume - I just say my name and, in two words, describe my role in the given project and shift my eyes to the guy on the right. Yea, it's awkward, but I figure most folks won't even remember my name.

Just today, as I was getting ready to leave for the day, my manager comes and asks me to jump on a "quick" call to go over some tech. requirements. God damn-it! In my case, however, I find that if it's a sudden thing - I don't feel as bad because I don't have days or weeks to think about the meeting and psyche myself out and be miserable the entire time leading up to it. This is what I have to go through every week lol ...crappy thing about SA is you don't really "get used" to it - every time is like doing it for the first time.

 

Going around the room and making introductions was always terrible for me. Some people who have social anxiety have even named the experience the "Circle of Death" because it is such a common fear for all of us. I reckon as our self-esteem and radical authenticity increase, we will no longer fear the judgment from others that we feel in such situations. Best solution is to keep working towards a mindset of not caring what other people think, loving your authentic self, and doing more exposure exercises.

 

WOW! I didn't realize it's common. I really thought I was an outlier with this "round the room" anxiety thing. Good to know I'm not the only one...and perhaps in some of my meetings, I'm not even the only one going through it there!

Yes, the "anticipatory anxiety" is exactly right. The longer I have to think about it..the worse it is. Almost always, I initially think of all this good or witty stuff to say. But by the time it's my turn, I'm so paralyzed and have a 180 bpm heart rate.....I just blurt out my name.

I'll say this though...I once went to a doctor about it, and he prescribed beta blockers. I must admit it worked. I remember being scared, just like normal, but no racing heart. As soon as I started speaking, I calmed down and the PHYSICAL manifestations, which were debilitating, never came.

Thanks for the input!:clap

 

Hi Brodey, i'm the exact same way, my heart starts pounding like crazy just from having to introduce myself when going around the room. I've been working at the same company for 22 years and i still get nervous. Just like you said, the anticipatory anxiety is the worst, it builds up as the moment approaches. I've had this condition all my life, i can remember going back to the 7th grade and having a panic attacks when having to read out loud in class, pretty crazy sh*t.

 

I can relate brodey. middle school introduction, high school introduction, university introduction, work introduction, introduction when going to someone's party.... haven't done it in a while, not sure how well i'd do. I chickened out this semester...

 

Same boat. Rising decently in my career and this has always been a problem. Beta blockers help, still hate the dread leading up to these things. That's what I really need to work on.

 

yesss always!

 

You don't have to be diagnosed with SA in order to feel nervous while presenting or speaking in front of an audience. I use to get anxious during the early days of my job even when speaking during conference calls. Now it doesn't bother me nearly as much. Just takes some experience and acknowledging that you don't sound as ridiculous as you may think. People are probably more caught up in themselves if anything.