Hi everyone-

currently i am an incoming sophmore who's never been to a high school party with drugs/smoking/alcohol. i am on the cheer team and recently we had this bonding ritual where we play 'never have i ever' and many of the questions were about sex/drinking. it left me feeling pretty sad/depressed since almost all of the girls have drank at parties and kissed boys (i have not done either). In the past years I have seen so many people partying on instagram/snapchat and drinking and having a great time and it makes me feel like a loser. I see girls younger than me kissing boys/partying and i feel like i am missing out. Ever since I was young I always had social anxiety which eventually led to depression in the last year..so my questions for all of you are:

-do you have any suggestions on how to get invited to parties?

Idk. I just hung with my friends back in the day.
Obviously, knowing people who do these things, and perhaps talking about specific subjects without being too blatant might help.

-are high school parties really worth it?

If you watch social media, people want to give an image out that they're fun and having fun etc. Their life is great!
The truth may very well be something else. If you are having fun without going to parties, why would you want to change that?
I personally went a few times and it was boring. Nowadays I don't really drink (but I may join my friends and hang out, but I much rather go play sports or w/e)

You should ask yourself: "what do I like?" And play to that. What OTHERS like and do is irrelevant; you should be you and do things that you enjoy.
YOU CAN be a part of the group WITHOUT submitting to groupthink. Chances are, that people will like you more and appreciate you more and you'll be happier if you do this.

-is it weird that i haven't been invited to a highschool party?

No.

-help?

Tl;dr: Do what you like, and don't bother with what others say or do. Live your life your way.

Answers inside the quote.

 

-do you have any suggestions on how to get invited to parties?
-are high school parties really worth it?
-is it weird that i haven't been invited to a highschool party?
-help?

You should ask your cheer friends. Since they seem to be so experienced, maybe they are going to parties.

Imo parties are not worth it. Getting with a group of friends and chilling is better.

No its not weird. The only reason I went to parties is because my friend got invited and I tagged a long, other than that.....no one was inviting me to parties. I think a lot of people don't get invited to parties.

 

I didnt get invited to my first high school party until i was a sophomore. There was a bit of smoking, no drinking. It wasnt wild and crazy, it was about 30 or so people that were all in the same social group and had similar interests. It was very chill and i had much more fun talking to people and joking around then i wouldve if i was grinding on a stranger with a drink in my hand. Some people dont like that sort of thing and shouldnt feel ashamed! 🙂 the second one i was invited to i couldnt go because i was recovering from surgery so any alcohol in my system couldve killed me. My best friend was planning it for months and turns out it sucked anyways, so perhaps you wont be missing out. Do you want to go for the fun of it? Or for social points? You should focus on finding like minded friends and youll get the chance to go to a party. Whether thats a more chill party, or a crazy one will depend on the group

 

In asia highschool party are more conservative and I also never been to party because I was never invited.I now don't have contact with my highschool friends...I think if your graduate you should look forward...go to club for adults and look for partner online dating.

 

Maybe try to join an activity group in school? Best seems to be joining a team sport, where it will probably be best to mingle and bond with others without having the sole focus on talking/socializing with them. Instead you bond with just playing the sport and doing the activity. And usually if you're doing the sport, it might help ease you into a high to socialize with others without the anxiety. If you can get into a clique this way, you might get included into parties. Most parties in school are mostly composed of kids that are in a team sport or a popular school club.

 

Thats just how life is unfortunately. But dont worry about it, no point in feeling bad about it. Besides, its not like you've actually missed out on high school or anything lol. What i am saying is that things could be way worse.

 

I graduated a long time ago and from what I remember parties where all about social status. Those people, events and stroies that developed from them seemed like my entire world. It soon fades and the memories are all you have. It's just one temporal time in your life. I was lucky and my parents fought with me about going out with other kids to parties because they knew that drugs and alcohol would most likely be present. I thank them now for being so strict because I could have been arrested or ended up in rehab. My oldest son was homeschooled through highschool because of aniexty and stomach problems. We used to talk about what highschool was like for me, and he would say how he felt so lonely and no friends and that he felt he missed out on so much. He got his GED and I encouraged him to go to university, and to walk in with his head held high, he did. He is in his 4 year now, a peer advisor, advanced classes, dominant public speaker, has a fiancee, tons of friends. He doesn't even think about " highschool" anymore. Keep your head up, work on you, because something better maybe coming, you have a lot more in front of you than what's behind you.

 

I never understood being invited to that kind of party, or calling it a party at all. It was generally just a gathering of less than functional people drinking, vomiting and fighting and nobody was invited, they just seemed to arrive.

 

High skewl parties are overrated

 

I never went to one either. didn't go to prom or anything.

all my life I only went to one party with lots of drinking. it was a confusing mess and I was out of it with anxiety and got drunk and passed out.

 

Stay in school and pass your classes. That's all that matters in the end, especially if you want to go to a good college/university.