I mean I don't know if that's normal or not, I guess you're just not in the zone right now. I haven't had a crush on a guy for a few years, just because I haven't met a guy I would be interested in. (Wait no, that's a lie. I did last year but it just didn't happen.) But it's really nice to hear that you've moved past the physical features of women and you're now more interested in who they are as people. That's definitely a sign of maturation right there.

 

Like many people say that all guys just want the hottest girl they can find, I want something more that that. For me, the most important thing is to have a connection, like we understand each other, someone who wants me back.

I mean looks still do matter to me, there has to be some sort of physical attraction present, but it's not as important as some people might believe.

I could meet someone I find hot but be immediately turned off by them when I talk to them, I lose attraction for them instantly.

 

Sounds like a good thing to me. Crushes always ruin me.

 

When I see and meet an attractive girl nowadays, I don't get butterflies in my stomach, or obsess over her, I still find her physically appealing but it's just different... I don't develop instant feelings anymore, looks arne't enough to impress me. In fact, I can only really develop feelings for someone until iv'e gotten to know them first.

That's not weird, in fact it's a positive thing.

 

I don't get them either.

 

I don't get them either and haven't in awhile.
I don't know, I wouldn't call People Like Us weird, but I do think it's a positive thing.

 

Well, it could just mean that you're not meeting the type of women you're really into. There's a difference between finding someone attractive and having that feeling that someone is perfect in every way. (Of course that's not true because no one is ever perfect but you know).

There's this one who works at a store I go to all the time and there's just something about her. I see attractive women there all the time but this one? Wow. And she's not even what you'd call conventionally attractive. She has a different look about her that probably a lot of guys don't even like.

But then I have to remind myself if I really knew her I'd probably almost immediately be like "Blaaah!" Anyway, not many women give me that feeling. A lot of the ones who do are gay (actually). I mean usually if I see them online the slightest bit of digging turns up the fact that they're lesbians. :lol

 

I wish I was like you, man.
Crushes are everything I got in my whole 'romantic' lol) life. When I was lucky I was just ignored, but I've been also played like a damn fiddle a couple of times. I can't count the number of days spent imagining potential relationships with girls out of my league, already committed or simply not interested in me. Not to mention the depression following the realization of that. So bloody pathetic.

 

How old are you? I personally had crushes as a young adult but they stopped once I reached mid-20s. I am 38 now and didn't have crushes for ages.

I don't know if it's just age though. My crushes stopped pretty much when I started obsessing about needing a woman for self validation. So maybe its like music: you can't feel it if you over analyze it. But back when I did have crushes the whole thing was irrelevant since I wanted to be single so that I can do physics 24/7.

 

How old are you? I personally had crushes as a young adult but they stopped once I reached mid-20s. I am 38 now and didn't have crushes for ages.

I don't know if it's just age though. My crushes stopped pretty much when I started obsessing about needing a woman for self validation. So maybe its like music: you can't feel it if you over analyze it. But back when I did have crushes the whole thing was irrelevant since I wanted to be single so that I can do physics 24/7.

Me? 31. Wait, how's that different if you still obsess over women? Do you mean when you're already in a relationship? Well, never been there...

 

Mine seemed to stop right around the time I started taking medication. Now I feel sort of indifferent when I think about potential relationships. I can't help but wonder if there's some correlation there....

 

I never been on medication. But who knows maybe the chemical imbalance produced by staying up all night studying physics is just as bad?

 

I might have had butterflies for one moment. I've only felt obsession and or that Im attracted/interrested in someone. I don't know if I get the butterfly simile. Is it like warm and its like its butterflies or something similar other insects (^^) crawling/flying around your stomach area? But quite calmly? I have had that one moment in life. But mostly my love-related encounters I've feelt like i'm speeding in my brain when I like someone or going nuts when I'm obsessed... thats how it works for me

 

crushes can make me want to get to know someone. they can be useful in that way.

 

same. in fact i can't remember having a proper crush since i was about 14. LOL.
if i saw/see someone attractive, i might obsess about them for about a day then it justs wears off and i don't care and even that is exceptionally rare to happen to even feel drawn to someone in the first place.

 

How lucky! I wish I could give you mines...
Enjoy it while it last.

 

I think it's fairly normal. Most people I meet aren't actively in crushes or anything. Maybe you've just learned that crushes may lead to feeling crushed, and are more cautious now (or indifferent, dejected, etc). Is it abnormal? I don't think so. It might surround or stem from negativity or bad experiences but as a crushing machine [I don't think I've ever not had an annoying crush on anyone at any point in time], I'm totally jealous.

 

I think I could crush on someone if allow myself to but I don't because of the feelings that a person go through..I hate it.
The last crush I had was about 3 years ago and I know it was mutual but the given situation at the time was not ideal.
I also feel like I am too old to have crushes now.

 

I can't say if that's normal or not but I would see it as a positive thing. Starting to like someone only after getting to know them well is much more beneficial than getting obsessed with someone you just met. You get to develop feelings for the person you actually know and who probably is already familiar with different sides of your personality. That kind of relationship is much healthier I think.
I wish I could say the same thing about myself. I honestly think having crushes is exhausting, it really makes it difficult to focus on your life.

 

Woah your language is telepathy?! It says so on your profile.

okay, what's my favorite color?

 

This sounds normal. I don't get crushes on guys just because they're hot, and often times I find myself falling for the unconventionally attractive dudes (my friends scold me for this, but I can't help it). I fall hard when I click with a guy and like our conversations and like their personality. So like you said, you don't have instant crushes and that you have to get to know them. That sounds quite normal. The instant crushes based on looks is actually rather immature.

 

.

 

Let me tell you what I am doing.

The love of my life passed away last year, on december 21 she jumped off a balcony. What I am doing is this, I am paid in full with Alcor life extension, I will be frozen when I die, and resurrected sometime in the future. I will wait until time travel is a real thing, I will then start growing my gf's clone body, and I will travel back in time to the point where she killed herself, and I will make a copy of her brain, then download her brain into her new clone body.

Then her and I will be together forever.

 

I feel as you grow and mature, you find these infatuations, or crushes, do diminish. You will still find others to be appealing in ways, but in my experience, the love sick, can't sleep, can't eat, can't think of anyone else is replaced by a more mature view of potential partners and relationships.