It may, but it's related to the pressure society likes to exert on women by shaming them for trying too hard or being too attention-seeking (damned if you do and damned if you don't basically). As socially awkward people we overthink on how we may be perceived, but I've learned the most important thing is that you're happy with what you do and present yourself as. Wear what you like and do your hair as you please, doing that is for yourself.

 

It may, but it's related to the pressure society likes to exert on women by shaming them for trying too hard or being too attention-seeking (damned if you do and damned if you don't basically). Wear what you like and do your hair as you please, doing that is for yourself.

So true. Just be yourself.

At OP I understand how you feel. It's not weird. The reason why you're feeling like this may be because of how you view people who over-do it perhaps. Sometimes I'm scared of looking like I'm trying too hard with these clothes and trying to garner attention. I want people to know that I wanna feel good. Seeking attention is shamed os much in our society these days that people like you are sometimes even afraid to look how they want. What I say these days is screw the haters, do your thing. If you're not going around bragging about how you look or you're acting like you're the best, you're not doing anyone harm. Being comfortable in your skin in important and if you're not comforable in the clothes you're wearing(though I agree baggy and non-makeup can feel pretty good) then you're not doing yourself justice. Be humble but be assertive in how you want to look. Does that make sense? Some of us are afraid to be confident because we see the other side of the spectrum of those people being criticized. It doesn't matter what you do, there will always be ppl who dislike you(those with low-self esteem and those with really high self esteem). You want to aim for neutrality and level headedness with your appearance meaning don't put all your eggs in one basket.

I do not like getting compliments but yet I want to participate in looking good just like other people do. When other people do it I'm like wow they're beautiful but when I put make up on or try to dress nice I feel like I'm gonna draw the wrong type of attention.

 

I used to feel like this when I was younger. It sucks so bad. I eventually just decided to wear what I wanted despite feeling awkward, and eventually the awkward feeling went away. I'm not going to censor my life just because other people might be momentarily offended or distracted by the things on my body. Screw that.

 

Have definitely gone through this. I used to always wear my hair down, unstyled, no makeup, t-shirts and jeans (yes, even in 90+ degree weather!). Changing your appearance is scary when you think other people are going to make a big deal out of it. But as you grow older, it's natural to become more concerned with your appearance. It makes you look and feel so much better! Try making tiny changes, like pulling your hair into a low ponytail, or wearing a light foundation. And gradually build up from there.

 

Like i'm putting myself on display for male attention or something..

yeah, I hate feeling like other people are thinking that about me. I dress practical though, I don't try to look "good" by any standards.

 

I have the exact same problem. I don't to try to look nice by wearing makeup or really nice clothes because I think it would like like I'm trying to hard.

 

Anyone know the feeling of feeling embarrassed by looking attractive? I'm afraid people will think I try too hard. Like i'm making myself look nice to impress the opposite sex.

The biggest part which holds me back from looking nice is what my family might think.. I have always wore baggy clothes, no make-up and my hair down. Now since 2 or 3 years, I started to improve my looks. I lost some weight and wear better fitting clothes. I feel a lot better about myself. But I still don't wear make up and I still wear my hair down. I would love to do my hair in a bun or braid. Escpecially during summer. But i just can't. I keep thinking what my family might think.. (even though, i know they support me in improving my self esteem). Because i always have been so uninterested in outer appearance. Like i'm putting myself on display for male attention or something.. That's how i feel when i look nice. I don't want it to looks like i'm trying too hard.
Its the same for wearing heels (i own an amazing pair of heeled sneakers). I never wore my heels outside of the house. I'm just afraid I attract the wrong attention.. I want more people to notice me, but not in a way it seems i try them to notice me................

Does this even make any sense? xP

Just dress how you want to dress! You might get a few comments here or there, but most people honestly do not care about what other people wear, if they are wearing makeup, etc. You'll probably get some 'you look nice' comments from those who know you best, but not from strangers. Most women dress up, do their hair, and wear some amount of makeup, so unless you've got some crazy hair or rainbow makeup going on, you're not going to attract too much attention from people.

 

I am the same it think. The last thing i want is to stand out, which is hard because I'm aways the tallest everywhere it seems. So i dress normally, no fancy stuff, nothing to fashionable. just pants and shirt and i try to keep my coat on as much as possible. that makes me feel like i can hide. I remember one time, i wore beige pants and a really cool sweater. having them on together is too flashy... It makes me paranoia, like everyone is watching me... judging me.... and I just want to get away as fast as possible.
I've just recently decided to get an actual hairstyle, never did cause i didn't want people to notice and comment on the change. It's hard getting over this, but I'm getting better and so can you.. did it by changing small things over a longer period of time. first a nice pair of shoes, then pants, then haircut etc etc. small steps makes it easier to expand the comfort zone. It may also help to be very open to your family about wearing nicer stuff (ask them what they think when you put something on). by laying it all in the open you don't have to worry abour what they might think, because you'll already know and they can actually help you pick nice clothes.


It's kinda funny now that i think about it. My sister is the exact opposite of me. refuses to leave the house unless she's got all the make up on and looks her best. she even refused to leave the car once to pick up burgers at the local fastfood joint, because she didn't have her make up on..... funny how that works

 

I agree with a lot of the responses. Start with one or two changes and then gradually see what you're comfortable with. I used to not care that much about my appearance and although I did get jobs, I did't want to dress my age (I wore a lot of t shirts and jeans. in my head I didn't want the wrong attention). I played with fashion a little here over the years and then really changed when I started working for Bloomingdales. I embraced my ladylike style icons and just did a lot of blouses and pencil skirts, cardigans, fitted trousers. Oddly enough I loved it. The clothes reflected how I felt and I was okay with attention this time. I represented a brand and was proud of it. Currently I am back to teaching but I do dress the part better than when I first started. There are times I feel overdressed but I remind myself I'm representing my own personality. I still will wear t shirt and jeans sometimes but I add heels or a necklace to make it less high school. Wearing makeup was a big change for me too, but compared to these women who do the contouring and highlighting, my makeup routine is pretty simple. Mascara, bare minerals, fill in eyebrows, and sometimes apply eyeliner. Done.

 

More embarrassed to try than to look it lol

 

Definitely hate looking nice. I usually wear my jeans till they rip. I have no hair style.

 

With clothes, I'm pretty consistent with my fashion sense, and haven't changed things much over the years, so I don't recall that being a source of embarrassment for me. However, I didn't tie my hair up for years because I was embarrassed about my bone structure and felt I had to hide it with hair. Lately though I've been feeling like I don't really care what people think of my looks anymore (it's liberating). And I've started tying my hair up a lot more just out of convenience, and strangely, I've been getting compliments for it. Now I actually think I suit hair up better than hair down.

 

Yeah i kno this feel..

Like there are certain ways i want to appear but i don't want to look like a try hard.. haha

 

Anyone know the feeling of feeling embarrassed by looking attractive? I'm afraid people will think I try too hard. Like i'm making myself look nice to impress the opposite sex.

The biggest part which holds me back from looking nice is what my family might think.. I have always wore baggy clothes, no make-up and my hair down. Now since 2 or 3 years, I started to improve my looks. I lost some weight and wear better fitting clothes. I feel a lot better about myself. But I still don't wear make up and I still wear my hair down. I would love to do my hair in a bun or braid. Escpecially during summer. But i just can't. I keep thinking what my family might think.. (even though, i know they support me in improving my self esteem). Because i always have been so uninterested in outer appearance. Like i'm putting myself on display for male attention or something.. That's how i feel when i look nice. I don't want it to looks like i'm trying too hard.
Its the same for wearing heels (i own an amazing pair of heeled sneakers). I never wore my heels outside of the house. I'm just afraid I attract the wrong attention.. I want more people to notice me, but not in a way it seems i try them to notice me................

Does this even make any sense? xP

I know how you feel! Im 6 feet 4 and was a slim guy. I bulked up some muscle, got a nice haircut, and built a great style of clothing, but somedays I do feel like people star at me and think Im trying to hard and talking about me. As it went on, I didn't care anymore because I noticed I was attracting a lot of pretty women. I don't care what people think. I want you to do the same. Im pretty sure your a beautiful girl and a lot of men would find you attractive. Don't mind what others are saying or thinking because most of the time, their starring at you because you look good.

 

Ha, I'm the opposite. Embarrassed to look unattractive. No matter what I wear I always see faults.