[jimity]

Dear Santa:

I saw you one day.
You were riding a slay.
I looked up and said "hey!"
But you just flew by.
Then I walked away with a sigh.
But then you came into my house at night.
And you gave me such a fright.
I left cookies and milk out for you.
And when I saw you I knew Santa was true.
My female cousin was around.
Someone you apparantly found.
You stayed longer than normal.
And the visit I knew was no longer formal.
Santa, you make me sick!
My cousin said all you wanted to do was lick.
She said she wanted you to stuff her stocking.
And that's when I heard her bed a rocking.
She said she can't wait till next year.
Then she went to bed full of cheer.

 

[jimity]

Got any daughters, Santa?

 

[jimity]

Where you going to live now Santa, with the north pole melting and stuff?

 

[jimity]

Dear Santa,

I know your secret, I know it good, it was last night while I was eating my food,
You snuck behind me, like a tiny teddy, and rubbed my nipples like a chinese yeti.

You went into my driveway and stole all the rocks, you snuck into my sisters room and sniffed all her socks, you answered my phone and it was a dog, you said "woof woof - now get lost you poo sniffing hog", you told my little brother there's no such thing as santa, you drank all my diet coke and you screamed at my fanta.

I feel you are the social anxiety demon in me, I've been getting this abuse back since I was just 3, since preschool I had guy bigger then me, tease and taunt and throw **** at me. I've had it Santa I really have, you big fat ******* I hope your sleigh burns in a crash

lol.. some people just don't like the jolly old fat *******.

 

[jimity]

Santa... go **** yourself.

 

[jimity]

lol, you like old ladies... with no teeth?

Who knows how many chicks he's banged over the years. There's probably millions of them.

 

[jimity]

Dear Santa

You didn't give me what I wanted for Christmas. You are the sole cause of my social anxiety. Every year I have written to you and I get rejected again and again and I feel like absolute **** each time! So you know what. Next year when you come back to my house, you can pick up the junk you left under my tree. Thanks for raiding the fridge on top of drinking the stuff I left out for you. Hey next time I'll leave you out a glass of battery acid instead.