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If there's one thing I'm forever doing it's quoting things I've seen on films or TV shows, usually to people who haven't seen it or find it hellishly annoying. So obviously, I wish to bring my wretched habit to the forum. What quotes do you find hysterical, poignant, stupid beyond belief, etc?

“People see me, and they see the suit, and they go: “you’re not fooling anyone”, they know I’m rock and roll through and through. But you know that old thing, live fast, die young? Not my way. Live fast, sure, live too bloody fast sometimes, but die young? Die old. That’s the way- not orthodox, I don’t live by “the rules” you know. And if there’s one other person who’s influenced me in that way I think, someone who is a maverick, someone who does that to the system, then, it’s Ian Botham. Because Beefy will happily say “that’s what I think of your selection policy, yes I’ve hit the odd copper, yes I’ve enjoyed the old dooby, but will you piss off and leave me alone, I’m walking to John O’Groats for some spastics.”

- David Brent, The Office
 

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****ing David Brent! ahahaha

"What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?"
-"Whatever I feel like I wanna do! GOSH!"
 

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"I'm ready to scour the earth for that mothaf**ka. If he goes to indo-China, I want a n***a hiding in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his a**."

--From Pulp Fiction

"A skillful blow, but you must understand that I cannot be cut!"

"Your eyes are your weakness."

--From Ninja Scroll

"Franke, Franke! Du a min venn, Franke!"

--Milo from Pusher

"He was stabbed three times--one for God the father; one for his son; one for the spirit."

From Ganja and Hess

"Oh, so you a jackleg preacher now, huh, 'lijah?"

From J.D.'s Revenge

"Look man, yo' b***h chose me. Now we can handle this like you got some class, or we can get into some gangster s**t!"

From The Mack
 

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Tortured Artist Cliche
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"The knowledge of death changes everything." - John Kramer

A little dark, I know, but if you think about it's actually incredibly uplifting.
..no? Well :b
 

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likes sloths.
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"You just got a vasectomy! I had mine done back in '68. Ironically, that was the same year that Enid discovered pasta and I discovered I'm not attracted to enormous women."
-BOB KELSO
 

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Anything by Buster or Lucille Bluth or any of the Bluths, really.

Buster: "That was 90% gravity."

"I don't want no part of your tight a** country club, ya freak bi***!" (excuse the language)

"Hey, brother."

Lucille: It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake.
Michael: You volunteered him.
Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

Tobias:I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot your wife is dead! [beat] I'm sorry, that was 100% inappropriate and I do apologize profusely. I'm, oh..

Oh and of course... "There's always money in the banana stand." :D
 

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Clementine: Too many guys think I'm a concept, or I complete them, or I'm gonna make them alive. But I'm just a ****ed-up girl who's lookin' for my own peace of mind; don't assign me yours.
Joel: I remember that speech really well.
Clementine: I had you pegged, didn't I?
Joel: You had the whole human race pegged.
Clementine: Hmm. Probably.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life... even after that.
Clementine: Ohhh... I know.
10/10
 

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Do You Even Shift?
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Eternal Sunshine quote.
Clementine: "You're kind of close-mouthed, aren't you?"

Joel: "I'm sorry, it's just.. Y'know, my life isn't that... Interesting. I go to work, I come home... I don't know what to say... You should read my journal. I mean, it's just... Blank."

Clementine: "Really? Does that make you sad, or anxious? I mean I'm always anxious thinking I'm not living my life to the fullest, y'know? Taking advantage of every possibility, making sure I'm not wasting one second of the little time I have."

Joel: "I think about that..."
 

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"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it. Don't wait for it. Just let it happen. It could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot black coffee."

"Harry, I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."


-Dale Cooper from Twin Peaks

 

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Anything by Buster or Lucille Bluth or any of the Bluths, really.

Buster: "That was 90% gravity."

"I don't want no part of your tight a** country club, ya freak bi***!" (excuse the language)

"Hey, brother."

Lucille: It's not fair to Buster. He's a nervous wreck right now. He's going into the Army, for God's sake.
Michael: You volunteered him.
Lucille: I knew you were going to throw that in my face.

Tobias:I know you're the big marriage expert. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot your wife is dead! [beat] I'm sorry, that was 100% inappropriate and I do apologize profusely. I'm, oh..

Oh and of course... "There's always money in the banana stand." :D
They asked me to join something called...Hero Squad ...
 

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Matthew McConaughey's character in 'Dazed and Confused'

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

 

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****ing David Brent! ahahaha

"What are you gonna do today, Napoleon?"
-"Whatever I feel like I wanna do! GOSH!"
Haha, this one! And...

"We chat online for like two hours everyday, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious."
"Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills."
"I see you're drinking one percent. Is that cause you think you're fat?"

"You don't get to chose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you."
"I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly and then all at once."
"Some infinities are bigger than other infinities."

Basically anything from Napoleon Dynamite and The Fault in Our Stars!
 

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"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND! - BAM!"

"You need people like me so you can point your ****in' fingers and say, 'That's the bad guy.'"

Tony Montana, Scarface :D
 

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"I'm out there Jerry and I'm loving every minute of it."

"Calling it your job don't make it right boss."

"Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let go kill them."

"Just because you shot Jesse James, don't make you Jesse James."

"Life's to short to be pissed off all the time."
 

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'Did you manage to find your way in alright?'

'Why yes thank-you, the man with the rubber glove was surprisingly gentle.'

------

'Excuse me sir, I have a package for you.'

'Sounds broken..'

'Most likely sir, though I bet it was something nice.'
 
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