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What you believe in is your reality. If you believe you are shy and inadequate then that will be your reality and everyone will confirm. If you belive you are outgoing and confident, in other words if you are outgoing and coinfident, people may be a little surprised at first but they will quickly adjust to your new reality and address you as a confident person. YOU make this reality. Not other epople.

This is powerful stuff!
 

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I believe that everyone has their own sense of reality that they are walking around with. What shapes that is the way they were raised or the situations or experiences that they have had as they were growing up.

I am trying to currently get into visualization. Like for instance if there is a situation I am afraid of I try to visualize myself in that situation before it actually occurs as being the confident person I want to be. I try to prepare myself mentally before hand so I can try to have a positive outcome.

I also had someone tell me once when dealing with people try to be confident even if you have to act like you are when you really arent. Eventually after all this acting you might start believing in it. I dont know if that makes sense. :stu
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
meggiehamilton said:
I believe that everyone has their own sense of reality that they are walking around with. What shapes that is the way they were raised or the situations or experiences that they have had as they were growing up.

I am trying to currently get into visualization. Like for instance if there is a situation I am afraid of I try to visualize myself in that situation before it actually occurs as being the confident person I want to be. I try to prepare myself mentally before hand so I can try to have a positive outcome.

I also had someone tell me once when dealing with people try to be confident even if you have to act like you are when you really arent. Eventually after all this acting you might start believing in it. I dont know if that makes sense. :stu
Absolutly, detailed in-depth visualization of how you would ideally, look and act and carry yourself if you had supreme confidence and then carrying yourself in just that way is very usefull. It may feel like acting at first but it I always say "Fake it until you make it". It isn't even important to be a big talker 93% of how you are perceived is through body language, how you carry yourself.
 

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It isn't even important to be a big talker 93% of how you are perceived is through body language, how you carry yourself.
That's good to hear because I don't want to be a big talker or an extrovert yet I want to be perceived as confident not a little timid looking person. I don't believe alot of talking is important. Besides people who run their mouth every second can also be disliked. :lol
 

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willy_wonka said:
What you believe in is your reality. If you believe you are shy and inadequate then that will be your reality and everyone will confirm. If you belive you are outgoing and confident, in other words if you are outgoing and coinfident, people may be a little surprised at first but they will quickly adjust to your new reality and address you as a confident person. YOU make this reality. Not other epople.

This is powerful stuff!
great!!!!
:thanks
 

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I think there is truth to that. But it takes some faith to believe in yourself even that little bit you need-to get you over that first hump
 

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Sometimes I feel like I'm a really brave person. Who else has to face their deepest fears everyday? I go to school, go to work, make presentations, attend meetings, and somehow I get through it, sans meds.

I recall an instance where I went skydiving for the first time last year and I was hardly nervous at all. The skydiving instructor was commenting on how quiet I was and how it's ok to be nervous since there's probably something wrong if you're not nervous. Well I was thinking I just spent two hours driving over here in the car with a person I barely knew, so anything after that feels like cake!

I know that having SA doesn't make me brave, but it does help my self-esteem to think this way sometimes.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
chynablue said:
Sometimes I feel like I'm a really brave person. Who else has to face their deepest fears everyday? I go to school, go to work, make presentations, attend meetings, and somehow I get through it, sans meds.

I recall an instance where I went skydiving for the first time last year and I was hardly nervous at all. The skydiving instructor was commenting on how quiet I was and how it's ok to be nervous since there's probably something wrong if you're not nervous. Well I was thinking I just spent two hours driving over here in the car with a person I barely knew, so anything after that feels like cake!

I know that having SA doesn't make me brave, but it does help my self-esteem to think this way sometimes.
Thats an interesting way of reframing it. Actually REFRAMING a lot of our thoughts this way is very useful.
 
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