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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Has anyone ever said that to you when you were sure that your physical symptoms of anxiety were showing?

I've had several people say this to me recently when I asked them about it. The most recent example happened about a week ago when I had to re-sign a one year lease at the apartments where I live. I loath talking to the front office lady. She is nice, but I swear she is channeling Barbara Walters with the personal interview questions ("How is school going?" "Do you like your teachers this quarter?" "Have you taken any of the girls in your class out on a date?" "Where are you planning on transferring to?" "How is everything at work?" etc...).

As I walked over to the office I started to feel all of the physical anxiety symptoms. I walked in, said hi, signed everything, dodged one question, and then said I had to leave for a job interview (not true). As is usually the case, I felt like I just barely escaped on time before the physical symptoms became too severe to manage. I could swear that I looked uncomfortable, nervous, and everything else that I associate with SAD.

A week later I saw the office secretary again as I was getting the mail:
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Her: Hi Ryan!

Me: Hey Lauren, how are you?

Her: Oh, not bad. How did your interview go?

Me: [Crap! Why did I say that? That was lame...] Good...it went well I think. Sorry I had to rush out on you. I was really anxious how the interview was going to go.

Her: Oh really? You didn't look anxious to me. You looked calm, and you probably did fine.

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Has something like that happened to any of you?
 

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I think it just says that we live too much in our heads. We get worked up because we think people will see our anxieties, and in turn view us negatively, but in reality they don't even notice.
 

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That's what CBT says, not everyone are aware of what we feel, sometimes only we know that we are anxious... or something like that.
 

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My therapist has mentioned to me that he doesn't see the physical symptoms. He's someone I trust.

But I do know there are times when my symptoms do show up when I'm around certain people. It's usually at the checkout counter at the supermarket or library when they occur.
 

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I have noticed the nervous jittery and "quickly-look-away" signs of anxiety in some ppl, and that is the proof I need that some ppl DO notice that we look anxious. And I'm also quite sure that many ppl reacts negatively and confused about our behaviour..
But I have never noticed the "stiff-neck" anxiety reaction in my friend, who also has extreme SAD...
 

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Man I must be in some psychosis or something because even with cbt I still feel as though people can "see" my thoughts and feelings and then I get really self conscious.
 

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I've had many people say this to me. It's surprising how little of my anxiety actually shows.

I used to have a therapist who shopped at my store (yeah, awkward). During our first meeting, she told me she was amazed that I had social anxiety because I had seemed like a friendly, helpful sort of sales clerk. I nearly fell out of my chair when she said that.
 

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I have noticed the nervous jittery and "quickly-look-away" signs of anxiety in some ppl, and that is the proof I need that some ppl DO notice that we look anxious. And I'm also quite sure that many ppl reacts negatively and confused about our behaviour..
But I have never noticed the "stiff-neck" anxiety reaction in my friend, who also has extreme SAD...
It takes one to know one, I think. WE notice other people's physical symptoms because we have them ourselves. Most people, though, don't notice them, yet we fear they do, and we therefore shun away from conversation etc. and miss out on opportunities. To them, it just probably looks like we want nothing to do with them, and we are rude, stuck up, etc. We should stop worrying what we look like!!!
 

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That happens to me all the time, especially before presentations. Inside I feel like I'm about to have a panic attack (not that I've ever had one) but it usually winds up going ok/well. Because I sound calm and normal most times, people think I am a calm/normal person, but inside I feel like I want to throw up. I really wish I could figure out how to stop doing this to myself.
 

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I've experienced this a few times. The most recent was when my room mate dragged me down to the local bar to watch our neighbors band play. The whole time we were there I was having some major anxiety. All I could think about was wanting to bolt for the door.

I thought for sure that everyone there noticed how anxious, nervous, and just downright uncomfortable I was but at one point my room mate was like, "social anxiety? whatever man" and just laughed because he wasn't seeing it at all and said I looked like I was having a great time. Truth be told I was miserable the whole time and thought it had to be written all over my face but I think thats just part of the whole SA thing where we over analyze and automatically assume our feelings are written all over our face. Sometimes they are, without a doubt but not always.
 

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I find most people don't see it- or they think it is something else. My husband sees it in me, he will often say I look really 'worried' when in a crowd of people and yet I still have to remind him I am not worried, it's the people all around me making me nervous. I am not sure if he sees this because he knows, or if anyone else would see it too. My mother can often tell, but she doesn't get that it is the anxiety.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
I've had many people say this to me. It's surprising how little of my anxiety actually shows.

I used to have a therapist who shopped at my store (yeah, awkward). During our first meeting, she told me she was amazed that I had social anxiety because I had seemed like a friendly, helpful sort of sales clerk. I nearly fell out of my chair when she said that.
It's crazy to hear, isn't it?

I had a sales job (on commission), but it became progressively more like hell the longer I worked there. I had to find another job even though the manager was nice and I sometimes actually enjoyed talking to people. Do you enjoy doing what you do and/or how do you manage?

It takes one to know one, I think. WE notice other people's physical symptoms because we have them ourselves. Most people, though, don't notice them, yet we fear they do, and we therefore shun away from conversation etc. and miss out on opportunities. To them, it just probably looks like we want nothing to do with them, and we are rude, stuck up, etc. We should stop worrying what we look like!!!
I think this is probably the key, but the solution seems easier to say than do...
 

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Definitely, yeah. The only time people notice when I am nervous is when I start jumping around. That's usually when people are coming over to the house. Somehow, I feel less the centre of attention if I'm jumping around and running back and forth. Because then people who come over to have conversations, can't join me lol. Its so weird. The jumping around isn't as random as it sounds though, I just act like a kid a lot even though I am 21 lol
 
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