[kidA]

So if you're reading this just prepare for a lot of venting and complaining.

Today my anxiety was terrible at work. As in, as bad as it has been in my history of having SA. And I'm a bank teller, so that's bad. Really bad.

Here's the thing: my job is easy. I'm sure plenty of you have gone into banks before. You watch what the tellers do. It's easy. I acknowledge that. It's just that, some days, the fear is absolutely crushing.

Like today for example. I'm so afraid of messing up or being wrong that I either second guess myself with everything I do or my mind just goes completely blank and I forget something that I just knew yesterday.

But what I really hate is how my coworkers react. One of them has a serious attitude. She takes a certain tone with everyone so I know it's not particular to me. But she, along with another one, seem to just lose total faith in me, entirely - despite that fact that for the past several days of work I was absolutely fine.

So, to sum it up:
1.) Why the **** do people only notice when you're doing something wrong, and why does that outweigh the fact that you've proven yourself repeatedly
2.) Anxiety's a *****
3.) Anxiety's a *****

End rant. Thanks for listening guys.

 

[kidA]

bump in hopes of a response

 

[BeatingSAwithastick]

Yeah I have the memory problems at work too, I work as a storeman, so i'll be picking an order and someone will ask me which order are you picking and I'll totally forget the name of the store. If the stock controller asks me whether I picked a certain item or not I usually have to check the paper work to give him an answer. Meanwhile most of my co-workers can just recall what they did instantly. Kind of makes my anxiety worse worrying about remembering and concentrating more.

I have a supervisor (not of my section though) who pretty much puts me down even if I do a good job. i.e I managed to maneuver the forklift into a tight spot and get a pallet out and the whole time he stood there making sarcastic, insulting remarks about my driving. But it was the end of the day, and I was barely anxious so I got the pallet out without one mistake. That pretty much showed him

I don't have to worry about people having a serious attitude at my workplace...I am the most serious worker there, the rest of them don't seem to care at all, unless a higher up is watching them.

 

[kidA]

Ha, well when I said "serious attitude"...that's sort of american slang for an attitude problem, e.g. bad attitude.

Thanks for your input. I know a lot of people on this forum are younger and not working yet so it's good to hear from someone else.

Oh, and today is going much better (knock on wood.) I'm on lunch break now, so here's to hoping the rest goes smoothly. =)

 

[kidA]

Day is done. And it went well. =)

 

[BeatingSAwithastick]

Glad it worked out for you

Saturday morning now, so couldn't be happier myself

 

[kidA]

Haha. Saturday morning has yet to come in the States...but I have to work. again. lol

 

[valley_girl1919]

i am a teller manager and I find it very stressful. Yea some of the work is repetitive but it can be hard especially as a manager. I feel the same as you, I worry everyday if I am gonna mess up

 

[AmandaMK]

Sometimes, I think that repetitive, boring tasks almost make it easier to make mistakes. I do a lot of data entry type things for my job and if I get "in the zone" I just switch on to autopilot and I've caught myself slipping when I do this. Being more aware or mindful can be helpful, sometimes it's hard though when the work is boring as heck.

And there's always going to be that one person at your job who is a pain in the you know what, haha. I think that it helps to realize that these people are just as unhappy with themselves as they project onto others. This is easier said then done, but an example may help: A psychiatrist who I work with has MAJOR mood swings (kind of ironic eh?) and she takes it out on everyone, including me (who tries as hard as possible to fly under the radar). But one day I heard her go into another psychiatrists office and just break down- yelling, crying, the works. Now I just kind of feel bad for her, even when she is being a royal b.

Glad your next day went better and that you are keeping your head up. That's so important and encouraging after experiencing these kinds set backs