[Daxter]

By my standards.

This was all at school by the way. The rest of the day I spent gaming at home BUT ANYWAAAAAY

1. I spoke up several times in class. In fact, I was the one who replied to the teacher the most whereas my classmates were generally more silent.
2. I introduced myself to a couple of people.
3. I actually had conversations with people.
4. I got into class a little late yet did not feel anxious about it.
5. There were only 5 minutes of anxiety.
6. I didn't go home looking back and feeling terribly emberassed about what I did that day. Except for a few things. A little bit.

Yeah the only time I really felt anxious was when I was introducing myself and talking for a couple of minutes with some of the new cute girls.

Pretty damn good schoolday. Now if can keep this up and I actually start enjoying the homework and exams part of it all, I think I'll want to go to school.

I have no idea how I suddenly became so... not SA-like. I guess I feel I have to. New year, new opportunities. And I didn't sleep so much so I was actually a little tired. Maybe that works as a drug or something? Lack of sleep? I don't know.

Just know that if I can do it, so can you.

 

[Acoolcat]

thanks for this story

You know, everytime a success, however large or small, surfaces it not only makes the successful person happier and more fulfilled with life but lifts the spirits of fellow men and women that are around listening. Its like you have triumphed personally but you also share it with people who you might not even know(like on this site) thus making it a ripple effect, something that keeps building on and on.
So thanks in making my day lighter, and the days of others reading this. Thank you...

 

[Daxter]

You're welcome, I'm glad my posts have meaning because I've been lurking an awful lot around here not knowing something constructive to post. Now that 'regular' life has started again (school), I have stuff to talk about, yay.

Anyhow, I've had another day of school.

-I came across one of my 'new' classmates while getting on the train. We sat next to eachother and had a conversation. If this sounds very dry, well I guess it was. Pretty basic stuff, but still, we managed to talk for about 20 minutes without too many awkward silences.
-I was involved in some group work. Nothing too special or exciting but I managed to contribute some things.
-Again, I think I spoke the most during the classes.

I hope to get to know my new classmates better. Maybe I'm out there with the wrong mindset. I can't expect to befriend certain people (sometimes it just does not click), it just happens, friends plans are... weird? But still, I hope to make some new friends.

Again, the most anxiety this day was around women. But I didn't do anything too stupid.

Then again... worst thing this day (so far, actually, still have a party to go to) so far was failure to make contact with a girl I haven't seen in a while and one I used to be in love with. I was standing outside trying to contact somebody on my cellphone, facing the entrance, looking down, flicking through my address book (90 % are not friends) when she walked outside. I lifted my head up for one second. She had her head down. I 'went back' to looking at my cellphone.

It's always the seconds... Whereas in the movies seconds revolve around defusing bombs and saving antiques from smashing onto the floor, in my life seconds can mean 'normal' contact and emberassment.

I don't know if she saw me, it happened too fast. Maybe she did. Maybe she ignored me. Maybe she saw me ignore her. Maybe she ignored me because I ignored her. Oh god.

I didn't go after her because I was anxious, I suppose. I realised my mistake seconds thereafter and hoped I would bump into her 'by chance'. That didn't happen. Crap.

I have this with ex-crushes. She's still my friend... I think. She just confuses me. There are times I think bad of her, and times I'm reasoning and coming to positive conclusions and think nice of her. But that makes me indecisive.

Ok, when I do see her again, I have to freaking make contact. Say ''Good to see you!'' and stuff like that. I think only that, but I will go wiz ze flow if she wants to behave like a friend.

I seem to have pain in my throat these days. It must be because of SOME anxiety because I never have this at home. Supressed anxiety? Hah. Maybe I'm talking too much and my body is not used to that? Aha. I have to bring more drinks to school I suppose.

 

[deeds14]

Wow, that's many successes! Great job!

 

[Dempsey]

Some days are just like this, where most anxiety is gone. I've found that people do sense your lack of anxiety when this happens, and seem more comfortably around you for days after the event.
People will be more chirpy with me the following week until they notice I'm back to my old self >.<.
It does help a lot with your confidence, though. You realise what you're capable of doing, and of how relaxed you could be forever.

 

[Daxter]

Wow, that's many successes! Great job!

Many thanks!

Some days are just like this, where most anxiety is gone. I've found that people do sense your lack of anxiety when this happens, and seem more comfortably around you for days after the event.
People will be more chirpy with me the following week until they notice I'm back to my old self >.<.
It does help a lot with your confidence, though. You realise what you're capable of doing, and of how relaxed you could be forever.

Exactly: you know that you have it in you. I know not all SA-ers are like this, but I myself want to be extroverted. So far I've just been too scared to be extroverted.

It's good to post such achievements here, it feels like I'm improving, making lists.

But yeah, maybe if I keep this up I will have killed most of my social anxiety at school (I'm still the shy guy at parties). When that happens, you'll know. Hell I'll try to tell you people how I did it, although I'm not too sure myself so far...

 

[giggles]

very good!! thats inspirational daxter