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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I know we all have our issues on here so I kinda have an idea how everyone will respond, but I was just curious: ladies how would you handle having a boyfriend with depression?

I’ve been single since October after breaking up with my girlfriend (which I still have a lot of guilt about). I’ve had a long history of depression and it’s been really bad since December. I’ve often isolated myself, been very unfocused at work, and just have low energy a lot of days.

My depression actually was never THAT bad with my ex (although I had my low moments) but besides that I’ve never been in a serious relationship or dated much while I really battled severe depression. I’m just wondering how a woman might respond to me.

I’ve been pretty lonely lately, so maybe being around someone will help, but I’m still really confused with the direction my life is going and it’s hard to figure that out while I’m dealing with this.

I just feel like I’d be too much of a drag for anyone to want to be around. I won’t want to do much, and I don’t engage with people very much when I’m like this.

I have a female friend I know via skype and on my bad days I try to avoid her because I know the conversations will always be unpleasant.

I also just feel like I would look like a loser to any woman I dated. I’m just this guy with no ambition, struggling at his job, uncertain about his future, and not much fun to be around.
 

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I would .. if they want to help me help themselves
 

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It just depends if the person is depressed or depressing. Wait that sounds bad and if a person is really depressed maybe he or she is not in a good place and needs to wait to date. Then again trying to date may be helpful to someone depressed. It all just depends really.
 

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By myself, but not alone.
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I don't think 2 depressed people in a relationship is a good idea.
 

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My most significant relationship-ish was with a guy who has depression and anxiety. I liked feeling accepted and knowing that if I shared the dark thoughts that were on my mind he wouldn't criticize me for it. I'd randomly start crying and he wouldn't ask any questions. That was nice.

He didn't seem depressed when I was first getting to know him, he was pretty inspiring actually (his being honest about being unhappy was refreshing) and one of few people who didn't seem full of crap. In the end though, we were both too insecure to make anything of it, but I hold a candle for him still.

I met a guy who seemed rather depressed at the bar the other week and there was a connection, but he talked about cocaine with a reverence that I found terrifying.

Being depressed myself I can't imagine successfully dating someone who wasn't at least mildly depressed at some point in their life. We'd be living in two different worlds.
 

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castor sacs
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a lot of work, but pretty much everything in my life is complicated anyway. why not. pretty much every good friend that i've communicated with is depressed like i am, lol. maybe we can help each other. or drive each other into the ground spouting our pessimistic attitudes at each other.
 

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Artest, Christian, Trans
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I'm gonna say something my online friend once told me, "Depression isn't caused by being weak, it's caused by being strong for way to long." I wouldn't see a depressed guys as a loser or take offense to him being stand-offish. Like you said we all have our issues and all have our down days. The problem wouldn't be could I stand them but could they stand me as half the time I would be trying to tell them how awesome they are and the other half be depressing because I have depression off and on myself.
 

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The Game Master
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I'm just this guy with no ambition, struggling at his job, uncertain about his future, and not much fun to be around.
Certain qualities or traits can outweigh the negatives of depression. However, if the aspects you listed all there is to a person, then definitely not. Who would want to date or even associate with someone like that?
 
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