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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've always considered myself to be a loner , yet I don't really like being alone. It's nice to have friends and have someone to talk to . Is it possible to change into something you're not , even after 40 plus years of being introverted?
 

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stillborn
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I'm definitely a loner, and I actually prefer it that way. The idea of having lots of friends makes me really nervous. I'm better off on my own anyway... trying to keep up a conversation is exhausting.
 

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As much as I enjoy being alone, I wouldn't consider myself a loner. I like having friends and developing intimate relationships although it is difficult for me to do so. However, my friends do understand that I need my along time.
 

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I do. I really hate being around people and people being around me.

And about Obama...
 

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I also feel that way... I am a loner at heart, but I do wish that at least I had one or two friends to confide to and hang out with once in a while. I would be satisfied having my alone time, but not being entirely alone. I definitely think there is chance for everybody to change, even if it is after many years... It happened to this one guy at my school who was very quiet for such a long time. Finally, he started talking and joking more with people who shared his same interests (I think that's what helped) and he broke out of his shell. Although I can't imagine ever going through something like he did, but it gives hope:b
 

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She-Wolf
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(its hard to say this from every person's perspective since our main problems can be differ so this is from my based on my experience..)

sometimes i think one should try to embrace those aspects of their personality, rather than always seeing being a "loner" as a negative trait and one of the most horrible things ever (not that i assume you do, but some people i know feel that way). i actually partly blame those feelings on all the pressure society tends to put on always needing to have social relationships and to always rely on people and that anything else other than that is abnormal, strange or foreign and that it should be "fixed".

the attitudes i've often gotten from people (incl. mental health professionals) are that "human beings are social animals, so you naturally do need and can form relationships" when i have said that i feel like dying because i can't do it (which i felt in the past). yes both are extremes, but i find people place way too much emphasis on the negative aspects of being alone.

it just depends on the unique individual and people forget that and tend to group everyone the same in thinking "everyone needs [this] amount of socialization, and if you can't then there's obviously something wrong with you".
i'm kind of going off on a tangent, but i used to be so horribly down on the fact that i couldn't be around people as much as others could, and i would feel so inadequate and so strange that i wasn't able to and that there must be something horribly wrong with me. but why should i? i found when i started to "let go" of those expectations that others have, i started to feel so much more free and confident and that its okay if i'm more introverted and prefer more time alone.

i know not everyone can do that, of course. i've just begun to embrace it and like how i am so independent and how i can go out and do a lot on my own. i tend to see myself as just having that "lone wolf" personality trait and it's not a bad thing.

for me, i still do need some socialization - on a regular basis, actually. if i'm in the right mood and the right setting then i can enjoy it (which tends to be pretty specific, but oh well) and it's better to have that as well. going months on end without that starts having me crave being around people.

but, there is a lot i do on my own and can enjoy on my own - and i need to have a lot of alone time. it's much more than the average person, but that's okay. both in moderation is what makes me happy. :)
 

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There's really no such thing, its more of a derogatory word to describe someone how doesn't have friends, and seems that they spend most of their time alone. If you can't stand being around people because of anxiety and having so much bad social interactions than its just normal that you would want to spend your time alone. Someone that spends most of their time alone because they cant make friends are lonely people. I hate most social interaction but also feel lonely at times.
 

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yup, i agree with the last two before neuro. ive always kept to myself, and for the most part have always only viewed interraction with others based on a specific reason. Either i need to tell them something, or need to ask something. when thats done, i can move on. But id prefer to know a few people with similar interests as me, hard to get a game of ultimate frisbee going by yourself, and video games arent the same with random people online.
 

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I am a loner-I have no friends but I want them-but on the other hand, while I want friends, i still enjoy being alone to this day, sometimes, it just feels really good to be alone

The only thing that I hate about being a loner is when people see that you're alone and not only think you're weird because of it, but feel sorry for you........
 

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dazed and confused
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I'm definitely a lone wolf. It's fun to have online friends, but having to deal with people socially in real life is just too stressful and tiresome.
 

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giggling ******
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Yes, but its lonely out here. Out in the open, we're wide open.

Change into something we're not? Well, we could always fake it 'til we break it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks Everyone for your replies.Made me realize I'm not alone . :)
 

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being around people makes me feel uncomfortable. I feel like an alien for the most part.
Same feelings here. But yet, I desire to fit in with people so bad, it kills me sometimes. I guess I can't call myself a loner since I don't really enjoy being alone, even though the alternative can be incredibly stressful.
 

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I don't want to be alone. Whenever I'm alone, I wish I wasn't.
However, when I am around people, SA kicks in and I quickly find an excuse to leave.

It's a vicious cycle. I guess I'm a reluctant loner.
 

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Yes. I do have two friends, but I rarely talk to them anymore. The last time I hang out with either one was 2 months ago, I think. I don't try to make new friends, and if I did try, it would be hopeless.
 

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Another loner here. I kind of like it though I wouldn't mind having a friend or two to get me out of the house once in a while, this boredom sucks.
 
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