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Yeah, that's what really stopping me asking someone out.I don't really have any good friends, most of the time spent time at home.So we won't go to any parties and it would probably a boring relationship for a girl my age and sooner it would be over, what would hurt me more.So if u had a fun life, u were good looking or u're, would u date a good looking guy with no life?
 

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Making No Apologies
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I would if he was willing to be more social and go out with me. We could be each others backup, so to speak. But if all he wanted to do was just sit around all damn day then I wouldnt be interested at all.
 

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You're bound to get a skewed response in here because everyone is in the same boat socially.

But common sense tells me that if someone had an active social life, they probably wouldn't want to be with someone who had none whatsoever.
 

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Hiding In My Den
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I would if he also fit the other things I was looking for. I have no friends myself and would actually prefer a guy with no friends. You should be going for girls that are like you. Why would you want someone outgoing if you have SA anyway? It would never last.
 

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"Why So Serious?"
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Seeing it from a guys perspective, I would actually date a girl with no friends. I go to some parties here and there and drink with my friends so I wouldn't mind taking her to these places. It would be a good place for her to make some friends to be honest.
 

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Yeah, that's what really stopping me asking someone out.I don't really have any good friends, most of the time spent time at home.So we won't go to any parties and it would probably a boring relationship for a girl my age and sooner it would be over, what would hurt me more.So if u had a fun life, u were good looking or u're, would u date a good looking guy with no life?
Maybe it would be best if you spent your time making new friends first and then seeking girlfriends. Yeah, I know easier said than done! Perhaps you could try The Feeling Good Handbook by Dr. David D Burns. It could help you to reduce your social anxiety and build that confidence to meet new people. Also, I wrote two blog entries on how to reduce anticipatory anxiety. This exercise was so effective that it seemed I temporarily terminated my social anxiety disorder when I went to my volunteer interview!

I'll give you two links. The first one teaches you how to identify irrational beliefs. The second one teaches you how to dispute them. Here they are:

http://dreadkiller.wordpress.com/2009/04/29/how-to-deal-with-a-dreadful-social-event-in-the-future/

http://dreadkiller.wordpress.com/2009/05/02/how-to-reduce-anticipatory-anxiety-part-2/
 

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SAS Member
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So if u had a fun life
Have you looked around the site at all, lol? I'm assuming that you want an opinion from someone who has a normal social life with friends, but that may be hard to find around here. For me, I would date a girl with no friends. I'm not dating her friends. I'm dating her. I'm sure it will be brought up in time about why she doesn't have any friends, but it is something that can be overlooked.
 

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Ok, first of all, I have no first hand advice to offer. I have however, seen what happens with relationships that friends have had with significant others that do not have a good deal of friends of their own. The real problem is that when things get tough in the relationship, inevitably the party without many of their friends end up suffering more since they have less of a support network. Even worse, if the relationship breaks down, the other party may feel they are losing not only their significant other, but any friendships they have gained from their ex's friends. (hopefully that sentence makes some degree of sense)

Does this mean I think this is a bad idea, per se? Absolutely not. It IS a complicating factor. However, there's no such thing as a perfect match, a perfect scenario. And in this case, the situation can be heavily obviated if you at least makes an effort to make friends during the relationship.

Either way, if you care about the person, or feel you might, then this is simply a complication, and it should still be worthy of a chance.
 

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I'mkind of a weird place. I actually have a fairly large group of friends (10 or 15 people) that while I wouldn't dream of relaying my personal feelings to, and get ridiculously worked up prior to hanging out, I adore and have fun with them once I'm out. Which possibly puts a bit of a doubt on my SA but that's more because I've grown back with them after a year basically alone apart from the boy as part of my attempt to get over this. whereas the boyfriend, though people like him, has no close friends apart from me and pretty much never accepts invitations to go out and doesn't socialize at sixth form. People like him but they never speak to him because he is very closed-off.

I quite like this aspect because even though I get terrified I like seeing my friends, so when I persuade him to go out and he does have a good time it makes me feel doubly good for overcoming the scariness enough for us both to enjoy ourselves, like I am strong enough for us both. And if I don't manage to persuade myself and get upset over it then he makes me go out, and that makes me feel better too because I know that he's also strong enough when I'm being a bit weak. I think that because we're equally socially ridiculous though in different ways we kind of balance out.

I don't think this was helpful at all for you. But if you find the right, understanding person then he/she would hopefully not only at least try to understand how hard it can be but would do something to help you get through it. Not everyone will work out, maybe you not having a large group of friends or for some completely different reason. But when it's the right person, it will. So keep your hopes up :)

And sitting at home isn't always so bad if you connect with someone :D me and the boy spend most of our lives sitting in his room messing about on the Wii or talking about random stuff. As long as you're with someone who you're comfortable conversing with - and if you aren't comfortable conversing with them, then you shouldn't be with them - then not going out that often isn't too much of an issue. Though hopefully it'd help you enough to give you the courage to go out every so often at least :)
 

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unashamed perv
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Yes, I would. It's difficult to imagine myself having a fun, asctive social life, but I think I still would. I love my bf, but his friends? Ugh, they're horrible. Obviously I'm glad for his sake that he has friends, but from a purely selfish point of view, it would be better for me if he had no friends!
 

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From my personal experience, I would honestly run in the opposite direction. I had my own social life (nothing like "normal", but satisfying enough) and he took that away and sucked the life out of me.

Having very few friends or not at all isn't so much of an issue compared to the constant clingy-ness and severe dependence issues.

Find a nice quiet girl that isn't into partying, and then restrain yourself from becoming a leech when she wants to have her own time with her friends and such. All will be spiffy. :yes
 

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I have this fear as well, that if in the unlikely event that I ever go on a date, the girl will ask about my friends. But I have none. How does one go about saying that he has no friends?

And yes, I would definitely date a girl with no friends.
 

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Call Me !!!!
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How do you know she would smother you?

Just because she has no friends, doesn't mean she doesn't have her own life.
Like anything it's down to the individual.

Too true, again depending on the individual that may or not be the case,
buuut a girl i was dating had no friends close by and as a result she was ALWAYS txting every two minutes aww man it was borderline obsesssive and hence that is what i meant by being smothered as a result of her having no other outlets.

Needless to say i didn't commit.
 

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Done with SA
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Like anything it's down to the individual.

Too true, again depending on the individual that may or not be the case,
buuut a girl i was dating had no friends close by and as a result she was ALWAYS txting every two minutes aww man it was borderline obsesssive and hence that is what i meant by being smothered as a result of her having no other outlets.

Needless to say i didn't commit.
Well, yeah, some people do get like that because they like to latch on to whoever is around and they have nothing or no one to take the focus from you, but if they have a life and things/people(who may be sort of close, but not friends) to occupy them, they shouldn't be like that.

Good you didn't commit, she might have become a stalker if you'd have stayed around.
 

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Yes, I'd date someone with no friends, preferably if he had some sort of hobbies/work that occupied a decent portion of his time though. I want the same for myself.
 
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