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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone. Need some advice.

I work in sales and there are certain times of the year that are very stressful and face paced... This isnt that time of year.

Basically what happens this time of year is everyone sits around all day at their desks talking **** and busting each others chops all day long. I dont join in but it occasionally gets thrown my way. I dont take **** well at all, even if its meant to be in fun sometimes it ruins my day. I dont show it though. How do I become thicker skinned?

Oh and as a side note, making sales and small talking customers or sellers over the phone makes me feel rigid as steel and makes me want to vomit at times, but I enjoy it anyways. But I feel like a major buzz kill over the phone.

But anyways how do I get a thicker skin? Ive always been way too nice, and trashing people has never been my thing.

Thanks
 

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The best way I have found is to adopt a role, be someone who fits the situation, just react the way that supposed person would, like an actor in a movie.

Otherwise, put yourself in their shoes, if you can see what makes them tick, because they are insecure, or have problems at home etc, it gives you understanding and power, if u know why they say it, you can understand its not as abrasive or offensive a lot of the time, you end up feeling sorry for them, you are on their side, you help them out.
This throws them off, often you end up with a new friend.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
So you are saying chop bust these guys right back? I suppose I could do that, but there have been times when I have hurt peoples feelings on accident and it makes me feel terrible for them, I dont like hurting people.

Any advice on how to become more relaxed on the phone? Maybe chat people up a little more?
 

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This is weird because I feel like I'm talking to my younger self. I too was in sales, lead gen. and eventually inside sales, worked with ball busting sales people.

Anyway, Who says you have to be a ball buster and who says you have to take it. To some people that kind of behaviour is unprofessional and immature. To others it's expected.

My advice is: be yourself. If it annoys you then be annoyed. If it angers you then disapprove of their ways. Or you can dish it back, other times it helps to mirror people. If they say something really insulting, dish it back and it could put things into perspective, if they say something mean, hurt them back, they will see it's not you who is the jerk. An ex co-worker of mine was overly sensitive about her large eyes. Someone at work called her "googly eyes" (out of nowhere). My co-worker just turned around and without any hesitation retorted, "Yea? Well, you're fat". The lady just stood there stunned. That is my favourite example of mirroring.

The only way to chat people up is to be genuine and not sound like a robot. It sounds simple, but a simple pleasant "Hi" this is HelloCleo I was told that you are the Dir. of IT and that you are the contact person for....blah, blah, blah, is that correct?" Is so much better than Hi my name is.....how are you? Never ask how they are. After confirming they are the CIO, CEO, etc. I would do a very brief intro into why I was calling (I'm just calling because I hear you are sending out RFP's for your data network and I would like to talk with you about that) and then I would quickly ask a question (when are you planning to implement this....) After that the conversation opens up because they did most of talking.
 

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No I didn't mean bust chops, I meant work with it as a situation rather than feel you are on one side and them on another. You are all in the situation together, not you vs them.
 

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***Thread Advisory***
Let's use the phrase "bust chops". Thanks :)
 
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