Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 5 of 5 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've had an awful week dealing with work colleagues. I know I'm new but I shouldn't be treated with disrespect just for asking questions or passing work back to a colleague..........................................I feel really quite inadequate, colleagues who speak to me are at times rude (I've dealt with rudeness before but this is different - it feels as though I'm an outsider trying to break in). When I've tried to pass work back I get verbal rudeness and rejection that I shoudn't be doing this cos I'm new and don't know what I'm doing and managers can see whats going on and do nothing. I was asked to write a polite email about the situation, which has made me look the bad guy because I've had to name a colleague and I didn't explain myself properly - the office manager doesn't really say much to me and at times when I've arrived and said good morning I'm blanked. I get the impression that I'm being setup for a fall. You can better your bottom dollar that if I behaved in a similiar way, I would have a compliant made against me. It seems as though my colleagues know what I'm about (weak and not mentally strong), just because I'm not necessarily looking for confrontation and feel they can treat me this way. Damn this condition.................................wish I could stand up for myself properly
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
315 Posts
Most organisations have an accepted culture and it can be hard for a newcomer to fit in. The first few days can be hard without a suitable mentor (which they may not be able to provide) but the best thing you can do is to try and focus more on the job you're supposed to learn.

If others see you making a strong effort to be productive then there is a higher chance of others taking you under their wing, so to speak. Remember that if someone is on a tight schedule or routine they may appear gruff at first glance - but they're just doing it out of interest of productivity.

Try to talk to some people outside of work outs, or during breaks. Find someone who is willing to listen to newbies and stick with him. You should be able to get your own niche in due time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
195 Posts
That's rough. I had a similar situation with my first job. My coworkers weren't friendly and the person who was supposed to train me was nasty. I think they all resented me because I was young, educated, and had a higher salary. I was miserable and cried in the bathroom all the time. I had one friend who I would occasionally talk to but my boss didn't like that and told me at my review that I socialize too much (laughable).

Your situation may be different, your coworkers might get a little friendlier as they get to know you. I hope it does for you as no one deserves to be in an uncomfortable environment. Do you at least like what you do?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Right it is rough.......................................I think I do like the work it's just the people. I mean if I stand up for myself (which I have done in part by defending myself), I'm an unreasonable person AND MADE TO FEEL THE BAD GUYT but IF I just don't do anything, I'm weak. I just feel unsupported by other colleagues or managers, who on the surface are fine but there is certainly an unpleasant vibe.........................maybe it's me I don't know - worried that I'm going to be exposed, worried that colleagues are potting against me and be forced out - silly I know but now getting angry because I can't stop thinkting about it and has spoiled my Easter weekend.

I know there are certain things I can do but just want to void any kind of confrontation or hassle. Wish I could just go to work (which is hard enough in its self), do what I need to do, get on with people and go home.

I notice the way colleagues look at me with such contempt, if I could just explain why I'm the way I am maybe it would be better - I worry about every possible situation at work and when colleagues make it difficult it's even worst to cope and deal with.

Dreading going back over Easter but I try to keep saying that its just a job (which I need) and I will get through it - but I'm not the strong type and think I'm gonna fail to cope over what most people consider minor issues.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
298 Posts
You're completely right. If you are new, then you should be asking questions, and they should be answering. If they give attitude, tell them if they don't want you asking, then do they want you to screw everything up for someone else to fix later.

I've gotten lucky. I've worked at 4 separate jobs so far (plus over 15 offsite offices in a previous position), and been treated ok. There are some that give attitude, or who don't appear very friendly.I try to ignore it.

At my last job, I got to break in my permanent replacement. My boss was on vacation, so I had to cover for her for 6 days, and was overloaded with work. The hole time, I took it easy on the new person, and we were practically glued to the hip for 3 days straight.
 
1 - 5 of 5 Posts
Top