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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi folks - can't say I post here often... I will immediately update my profile after this post so I don't have to bore others or repeat things when I do come here. I do read from time to time, when things get worse than my brain would like.

Here's my dilemma. Seems that our dept. here at work is very childish, and very unprofessional. People don't tell the whole truth in order to protect their standing, people will knee-jerk blame things on others before accepting blame, people will speak ill of others when their not around - both about work related issues and not - and I essentially have been trying to get away from this type of behavior. Our manager is one of these people as well, and I wouldn't feel comfortable bringing this to his attention at all.

I do suffer from several aspects of SAD, and I find that when trying to be more ethical myself (a personal choice; I found I was acting much like these people) people tend to think I'm a wuss, and use that as free reign to behave worse towards me.

So here's my question: Should I continue to /try/ to be ethical in all senses, and try to ignore the majority of crap that people tend to throw my way, undermining my position, making me feel inferior, and not even trying to offer a level of respect? Or should I play the game, which isn't how I really want to act, but tends to even the playing field?

I've been told I'm a being of extremes, so to speak. Either I go too far one way, and let people walk over me (mor eoften than not), or I come off too strong, and seem evil-angry. I've also been told that I'm not the type of person people screw around with, but they can't see my thoughts, and I always feel the opposite of that. It's really anxiety talking, cause I just don't know how to react to these situations anymore, and makes me feel like less than I am every time something like this happens. Maybe I'm putting too much thought and caring into it...
 

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I know the Me, Myself and Irene dilema you are in (or Jeckyl vs. Hyde if you prefer). I too feel like I am either Mr. Nice Guy (step all over me please!) or Mr Angry and Bitter.

The only thing I can advise is to stick to your morals AND stick up for yourself while trying to be aware of how you come off (ie...not too wimpy but not too harsh/mean).

I am working on this myself.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I'd like to get transferred, but it's a small floor, and our dept needs to collaborate (sysadmins) more often than not - they're the linux side, i'm the windows guy.

I'm working on the same, DD ... I have since estranged myself from anything other than work interaction, mainly because I've become great friends with someone who undertstands my mind and is very supportive. It's a far healthier relationship, and give my mind a great break from our dept. Computer guys driven by what they read on the net just seems to amplify their crappy social habits. Ah well, thanks for reading and replying to my rants... it helps. :)

(note: I also noticed that there's no actual detailed info profile stuff I can enter, so please disregard that part of my post ):
 

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Perhaps there is someone above or equal with your manager you could talk to?
I've had to bring up the bad behavior of some co-workers to a boss before and it really wasn't so bad. I was SO nervous beforehand but in the end I felt better. I felt like I was doing somthing good for the company and that if you have good supervisors they will see it that way too.
 

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From my limited job experience i've found some places are just like this. Everyone who works there seems to have learned a certain behavior and you are pretty much screwed and unable to change it until they decide to change (which probably won't happen).
:tiptoe
 
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