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The most helpful thing for me has been to have this forum to come and learn and realize that my boyfriend's SA is not about me. It may effect me but it doesn't have to hurt all the time - that I can choose to acknowledge that the way he is about his SA, not about my shortcomings or inadequacies. The people here have really helped me to see his SA in a whole new light and I can see the subtle ways that he is sharing with me even when most people would not see or understand. It is hard now that I am here and have posted so much to get him to come to this website because it would be keep me from being here if he were posting here and I know it would be uncomfortable for him to post here knowing I am here. But, maybe if you could share this site with her so she could see that SA isn't by any means uncommon and that a lot of people have it and struggle with it. Maybe she could put it all in perspective and know what is really important in life - her marriage, the love you share and the commitment she made. Her vows weren't just for better and for health... and it ends with to love and to cherish till death do you part. I personally have done the till death, and the in sickness and the for worse in my first two marriages.... SA is hard to be effected by but I always remind myself that what I feel is nothing compared to what he lives with every day. I am set to support him in whatever road we have to walk together - if he will walk it with me.
 
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