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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I hate social anxiety!! I hate myself. Wtf is wrong with me? I'm studying to be a primary school teacher because young kids usually don't scare me. I don't feel like they're judging me. Sad but true. Tomorrow I have teaching rounds but I'm too scared to go. I was meant to start today but I skipped it. I emailed my supervisor to ask for the teacher who's class I'm observing's email address so I could tell her id be coming in and starting my rounds but the supervisor just sent me the number of the school. I can't call the school! I really really really don't want to call her at the school. And I avoided it and just slept all day instead. But if I don't call tomorrow morning I'll just have to unexpectedly rock up and surprise her and I really really don't want to do that either. I hate it myself because if I don't go I'll fail. I'm ruining my own life. Why can't I just get over the fear of everyone judging me negatively. Of everyone hating me and thinking I'm a loser and an idiot. Maybe I am a loser? ****.
 

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Motivate yourself. Try as hard as you can to either make that phone call, or just show up...whichever way is better or easier for you. Keep reminding yourself that this is something you want to do, isn't it? To teach? Something you love? So keep telling yourself that, tell yourself it's worth it to at least try. Your supervisor will not think any less of you, she will not judge you.
Actually, I'll share a story:

I had an online friend who was in the hospital for something a while ago. She was going through a rough time, and I called her on the phone. Now, me talking to online friends on the phone like that? One of my biggest fears. But I knew I wanted to make her feel better and comfort her, so I did it. I put my social anxiety fears behind me, and I actually did it. Twice, in fact. I had the proper motivation to push me towards it. So with the right motivation, you too can get this done. If it's something you really want to do, then you can. It's a pain living with this disorder, but it can get better. Calling your supervisor or just showing up, well that's a step toward it getting better. So just ask yourself, do you really want to teach? And if yes, are you really going to let this disorder stop you from doing something that YOU want to do? YOU are in control of your life....not it. Motivate yourself. Will yourself. That is the greatest power you have.
 

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First, you're not a loser. You're just unlucky, like the rest of us. Maybe it was in your genes, maybe not. What matters is that by making that call you are confronting your fear of what people think about you. I've improved my fear of what people think about me by just doing what I was afraid of. I made it a rule that if something involving SA scared me, then doing that thing was going to help me. Now I'm closer than ever to getting over my fear.

Trust me, it will be hard at first, but sooner or later you will stop caring about what people think about you.
 

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I feel the same way, a constant fear of everyone judging me negatively. But I have to agree with the 2 people above me. The only way to really overcome that is to face it head on. There is this guy I really like that I sit beside in class, and we talk a little, he's really funny. I really like him, but it's so difficult for me to show it and to flirt, I've never really been good at expressing those kind of feelings. So I am going to just flat out tell him I like him. I am going to do it through a song in a funny way, so it's not quite so direct. But even if he says he doesn't feel the same, I won't look back on this time with regret because I will know I overcame my SA to do something I want. I can't control how he feels, but I can control what I do and kick SA in the butt.

You have to kind of think that way. Even though things scare the hell out of you, like they do to me on a very regular basis, you have to realize that what you desire is above that SA, and you can't let it stop you from living your life. This is so much harder for us than ordinary people, but this is the only way to really face it. So either call or show up, whatever you feel is slightly more bearable. One thing I've learned with SA is that the situation always seems worse than it actually is. You feel like tons of people will negatively judge you, but in actuality, the teacher probably really doesn't mind. Think about how many people make plans like that but something goes wrong and they can't show up. People have to break plans all the time. Just apologize and be there next time. Good luck!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you so much guys! It's so good just to talk with people who understand. I tell my boyfriend and he really tries to understand but he just doesn't get how making a phone call could be that scary. I don't blame him for not getting it, it sounds crazy unless you've experienced it. Ok i pretty much havnt slept because of anxiety over this stupid phone call and blah. BUT IM GOING TO DO IT. I have to. And it's so true, I always have this intense anxiety and am fearful of something and then when it's over I realise how un-terrible it really was. It wont be that bad, they probably won't even care... Ok! THANK YOU :) and good luck to telling that guy you like him! I have never ever admitted feelings to a guy unless he blatantly tells me he likes me first :/ even then he has to tell me atleast 50 times before I'll really believe he's not just tricking me! So very brave of you. YOU CANNNN DOO IT!
 
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