I hate social anxiety!! I hate myself. Wtf is wrong with me? I'm studying to be a primary school teacher because young kids usually don't scare me. I don't feel like they're judging me. Sad but true. Tomorrow I have teaching rounds but I'm too scared to go. I was meant to start today but I skipped it. I emailed my supervisor to ask for the teacher who's class I'm observing's email address so I could tell her id be coming in and starting my rounds but the supervisor just sent me the number of the school. I can't call the school! I really really really don't want to call her at the school. And I avoided it and just slept all day instead. But if I don't call tomorrow morning I'll just have to unexpectedly rock up and surprise her and I really really don't want to do that either. I hate it myself because if I don't go I'll fail. I'm ruining my own life. Why can't I just get over the fear of everyone judging me negatively. Of everyone hating me and thinking I'm a loser and an idiot. Maybe I am a loser? ****.