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Backstory
Foremost, my bipolar disorder 2 is under control - I'm satisfied with my pills. I've had a bad end to last week though. I'm still confident that I'll cycle back to where I feel better rather soon.
What made last week not good was my mind's going dull right in the middle of work. I felt bad. Then I felt social fear that I was as incompetent as that interpreter at Mandela's funeral*. So felt bad that I felt bad which made me feel worse. Clearly I had to stop that. Mindfulness, etc.
So what I did was go online and google psychological things. I did a lot of quizzes to understand myself#. More importantly, I tried to analyse my colleagues and other people, just so I can affirm that they aren't really thinking about me much at all, let alone bad things. And then I thought about using this psychological knowledge to actually analyse others. A goal would be to find people at work who I could ask to cover me in case I have further episodes. Another would be to find other introverted people so that I can have meaningful conversations instead of having my energy being drained by those extroverts, while still being nice at work. These aren't difficult tasks to do for most people. Unfortunately I think I'm actually emotionally retarded.

Why I want to study psychology?
Primarily, I want to get emotionally smarter, hence empowered. It feels horrible to be condemned as not fitting into the company's close-knit, fun culture just because I don't want to participate in every single dick joke$. I want to read up on psychology because I really struggle to see the reality of the situation over the idea of it. I'd rather understand the idea and apply it to reality than to see reality and make inferences on the idea behind it.
Secondly, I'm very impatient with my psychological/emotional knowledge growth rate thus far. I just don't seem to be getting anywhere close to where I want to be emotionally. In particular, I get easily knocked down by setbacks (depression episodes or the week before payday) and it takes me a very long time to get back to some equivalent level; and I'm not bold enough to try new things because I fear the unknown. Life is just too short to live like that.

Why do you want to study psychology? Has it helped you make sense of things?
I don't want to study psychology because I want to help people. I want to study it so that I can know how people work.
People on this forum have this habit of, on some level, some appreciation for psychology. Some actually study it. I want to know if anyone has benefited from studying psychology. What part of it was really important. What did you gain from reading a book or attending lectures?

Epitaph
I'm thinking of buying Please Understand Me by David Keirsey. The way I understand things, I first need to know my personality and character, before I can understand disorders. A person can be introverted without being an overly-anxious, recluse hermit.

*For the record, I gave the interpreter the benefit of the doubt that he was qualified, and really did have an unfortunately timed schizophrenic attack that made him look fraudulent. I have since reconsidered my position.
#The test result was INTJ, but used to be INTP.
$I work in IT, which is so male dominated that penis jokes have been said so many times that I've grown tired of them. I'm more interested in learning about male privilege.
 

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Studying pysch has been a real pleasure for me. It's not only become my passion, it's helped me tremendously in so many areas of my life: relationships, friendships, career, happiness. Learning to understand yourself, your quirks, your personality, and also other people really opens you up to a whole new way to live. Once you understand your lifelong neurotic personality structures or habits, you can free yourself in so many ways. You're no longer spinning your ties in mud; you can start making progress and things will start snowballing because there isn't all that psychic baggage weighing you down.

Although I'm 24, already out of University, and working in the writing/ sales field, I constantly toy with the idea of going back to school for psych. What better pleasure or service could there be in helping other people with the knowledge and experience you've gained from helping yourself?
 

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Epitaph
I'm thinking of buying Please Understand Me by David Keirsey. The way I understand things, I first need to know my personality and character, before I can understand disorders. A person can be introverted without being an overly-anxious, recluse hermit.

Please Understand Me would be a good start to getting your feet wet on some theories of personality. I started my journey with a Myers-Briggs book many years ago, and read many other pop psychology books. I agree that it's probably best to start there before diving into deeper works on disorders and stuff.

If you really want to get a solid feel for abnormal psychology, I'd recommend reading the works by all the greats like Alexander Lowen (body psychology), Stephen M. Johnson (combination of body and object relations psychology), Freud (psychoanalytical), Alfred Adler (Individual psychology), Abraham Maslow (humanistic), Jung (archetypal), Rollo May (existential), Karen Horney (one of the most intriguing in my opinion), etc. The real thrill is exploring all the different perspectives and then finding common ground between them.
 

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So you can come on here and practice what you learned like a lot who don't admit it but pretend to have SA . ( excluding the few who actually studied for their own reasons and actually want to help others . But they are few )
 
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