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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
1. I don't know how to approach people and start talking to them. I am afraid they will think I am a creepy stalker or a weirdo and judge me, or that I will come across as annoying.

2. Even if I am approached or I manage to initiate a conversation, I clam up. I know I have nothing interesting to say. I am a pretty dull person. I don't really have a developed sense of humor and am fairly serious. I can't keep people entertained and a lot of those ackward silences occur.

3. I am also an eclectic person and I feel like I don't know how to have a "normal" conversation. I am weird, have strange interests, and feel like I don't have a lot in common with most girls my age. I have very little social skills and say things that sound normal to me but apparrently come across as highly peculiar to other people (I have been told this, and have also heard it numerous times from rumors). I don't know how to dress myself well, put on make-up, or do my hair/other girly things. I am rail-thin and gangly and ackward and move/walk weird because I don't know how to carry myself properly.

4. I don't want to try to get close to a person because I am afraid that they won't want my friendship and will see me as a weird creepy person that won't leave them alone. I am not very popular and I am afraid that people won't want to be my friend for fear of the social damage that associating with me could cause. One time my best friend admitted that the day that she met me her other friends warned her from hanging out with me because I was one of those "strange" people.

5. Because of above, the people I do have contact with don't go past the acquaintence stage and eventually fade out of my life. I have not the courage nor the faintest idea how to interact with them outside of class/work or to become "friends."

6. When people are nice to me, I have a habit of avoiding them like hell. If I see someone I talked to a couple times and who might try to engage me in conversation, I often just wave and smile and hurry by or find some way to avoid them altogether because I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say and I feel a lot of pressure and anxiety.

AND THE WORST... I am self-absorbed. I am so inwardly focused on myself and my feelings that I rarely take a look at the outside world and how other people are doing. I am self-centered and even this post proves it.

Thus, I have very few friends and spend most of my time alone in college, depressed and wishing I could be out having fun. I am a fun-loving person and love adventure, excitement, and trying new things but for all my life I have never been able to make friends to share these experiences with :(
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