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Like, for real, I'm tired of hearing it----> do you have gf? this question is usually asked to me by different family members, which includes aunts, cousins, uncles, grandmother, etc... and when my response is: Um... no?, they react like I'm crazy or something, like they just asked me if I want a million dollars. Why would I want a gf in the first place? I don't have time for that sh*t, waste of my time, my money, it's pointless to me. It's worse than a job. It's like asking me, "Do you want to be punished?" I think that most of these reactions from guys after seeing a model type woman on tv, newspapers, internet, "Oh Wow", etc... is an exaggeration that is expected by them, so they simply react the way they were taught to. And I don't want kids, I Don't want to be a slave. Does anyone here feel like this?
 

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For some reason most people view relationship as a necessity for a guy that comes second in his life after oxygen. Pretty much like having a car. If you over 22 and don't have one and ride a bicycle instead, everyone looks at you funny. Same with girlfriends.
 

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It annoys me too !

Its like when girls keep asking me what i got on a test/exam.. they are never satisfied with a simple 'it went all right' they always wann know exactly what marks you got. That annoys me to no end.

What pisses me off even more is that, even though I never ask people about their test results, people always ask me off mine. Its like they don't understand ... I no more wanna discuss what you got in a test, than the colour of your underwear.

If you can come up to me after an exam and invite me to a concert without asking "so what did you get on your exams?" you're my friend already.
 

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Still Running
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OK, I'm old and senile and was wondering what a gf, and bf was. I think that Stanly hit the nail on the head. ShinaKuma shouldn't have to worry about what your family thinks. Mine have just come to accept that I will be who I am no matter what they think I should be doing with a gf.
 

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She-Wolf
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yea i don't know what it is. people tend to assume you need it to "complete" you. maybe for older generations they have the mindset that we should get a boyfriend or girlfriend we get settle down with, live together, start a family.

seems like there is an unnecessary focus on it, as well as it would determine our happiness. when i was in a depressive episode, after being hospitalized a couple times my grandpa said "what [she] just needs is to get herself a boyfriend". ha. since then from experience i know that is far from true and has yet to cure my depression.
 

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Born Of Blotmonað
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I think it's the biology in us that triggers people to ask but by making that argument one then has to examine the entire animal kingdom, if you do then you'll note that monogamy isn't always king. Anyway that's a bit of a tangent but it was part of my thought at this exact moment.

People really should place less emphasis on it & I think they do for the middle aged & older but younger than that & it's assumed or thought that you should be in pair.

People should take a hint if they've asked a few times because if a person is usually single then the fact that they've become in couple will be news that is very likely to be shared
 

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Perv Ranger #14
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I get this all the time. My family tells me, "You need a girlfriend, I think it will do you good." This is probably true, but getting one doesn't seem like it will happen to me anytime soon. I don't feel any necessary urges to get one.
 

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If I had a penny for every single time I heard someone ask me if I have a boyfriend or someone saying it would be good for me, I'd have at least one thousand dollars.
I think it's just that people think you can't be complete until you have a 'mate'. Someone you will potentially settle down with and start a family, and if your family is like mine, they seem to think it will make you seem more 'normal'.

Apparently, being young and not having a bf/gf or at least dating people is extremely weird.
 

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If I had a penny for every single time I heard someone ask me if I have a boyfriend or someone saying it would be good for me, I'd have at least one thousand dollars.
I think it's just that people think you can't be complete until you have a 'mate'. Someone you will potentially settle down with and start a family, and if your family is like mine, they seem to think it will make you seem more 'normal'.

Apparently, being young and not having a bf/gf or at least dating people is extremely weird.
Raise your rate to $1 and you would be in business!

I am focusing on myself right now. With everything that I have to do these days, a relationship would put me over the edge.
 

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It is pretty standard to want some sort of romantic partner. Pair bonding is seen in all sorts of animals, so this isn't some artificial creation of humans.
 

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For some reason most people view relationship as a necessity for a guy that comes second in his life after oxygen. Pretty much like having a car. If you over 22 and don't have one and ride a bicycle instead, everyone looks at you funny. Same with girlfriends.
I don't think this is true with guys at all. With girls on the other hand yes they are usually the ones to get harassed by other females as they get older if they haven't "hooked the knot". But I guess this all depends where you live. In urban areas single people of just about any age are a common thing and not frowned upon. In fact where I am moving soon being single is pretty much a way of life and I absolutely LOVE IT. I think it brings everyone together in a more fun and connecting way, where as once people "pair off" they become hermets and isolate themselves from society.

As the poster stated though, I do despise the ones that think everyone should be in relationships. Sure I think deep down "most" people want to be in relationships, but at any given time there are Multiple reasons why people are not, and people seem to overlook that stuff and are quick to judge. The problem is social conditioning lead from the previous generation. Every decade the new spawning forms new ways of living and the ideas of the "old" still lurk and haunt about.

I went to visit a good buddy of mine recently who is getting engaged and they were both constantly always talking about trying to hook me up with their friends etc, without even asking me and sure on the good side that's very nice and cool, but it's annoying when people see it as a necessity and look at you weird if you're not in a relationship especially without even knowing a person and why.

I am one that looks at single people with admiration. I see them as strong, individualistic, self reliant, in control of their lives, and waiting for what they feel is right. I find those traits extremely attractive and when I am looking for potential mates those are some of the characteristics I seek. Where as I look at a girl that is constantly going from one relationship to the next I find that absolutely appalling, disgusting, and needy. And it's safe to say women would feel the same in that regard having the tables turned. Obviously just to note if you are with the love of your life then I consider that a great thing.
 

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This is so annoying. Its often said in a way as if you are guilty of a crime or done something wrong just to be single. I have often thought what would their reaction be if I said I had no testicles as they were ripped off in a car accident! Actually that's probably not as embarrassing as saying I am shy.I might try it if it ever happens again!
 

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I am focusing on myself right now. With everything that I have to do these days, a relationship would put me over the edge.
Your negativity about relationships never ceases to amaze me. How do you know it would put you over the edge? A GOOD relationship (notice the emphasis on GOOD) wont be a bad thing in your life.

There is nothing wrong with being single and I dont know why society thinks there is, but I will agree that to be true. I was single for most of my 20s. I dont know why society considers that a bad thing. :stu
 

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I have yet to be in a relationship, and quite a number of locals have asked me from time to time if I have a boyfriend. My mom and grandmother are occasionally suggesting that I give eHarmony a try one day. I can't help but say that I'm terrified of relationships, and being part of one would scare me so much right now.
That, and my type of guy would be someone that none of my family and friends would accept...
 

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Your negativity about relationships never ceases to amaze me. How do you know it would put you over the edge? A GOOD relationship (notice the emphasis on GOOD) wont be a bad thing in your life.

There is nothing wrong with being single and I dont know why society thinks there is, but I will agree that to be true. I was single for most of my 20s. I dont know why society considers that a bad thing. :stu
I keep thinking that, too.
A good relationship shouldn't complicate your life, steer you away from working on you, or mess up your progress. If anything, it should enhance it.

But I can also see where people can get the negativity about relationships, especially if you've been in or around a lot of bad ones in your life.
 

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I keep thinking that, too.
A good relationship shouldn't complicate your life, steer you away from working on you, or mess up your progress. If anything, it should enhance it.

But I can also see where people can get the negativity about relationships, especially if you've been in or around a lot of bad ones in your life.
Well I do understand that as I have had a few HORRIBLE relationships in my life. So I do agree with you on that. And I am glad that you agree that isnt how it should be. Its great that you see that; how many times on SAS do I hear the opposite???

I guess I am lucky because the relationship I am in now is very supportive. I have progressed quite a bit with this relationship.

Not all relationships have to be bad and I guess that is what bugs me about that statement. The idea that having a relationship=overwhelming, anxiety, bad thing.

And to say "I cannot be in a relationship because it would push me over the edge" is incredibly, impossibly negative, esp for someone with little experience with relationships like the person I quoted. Just sayin'....
 

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I think the majority of the people who believe they want to be alone do it not because it's what they truly want but because they want to avoid the risks and baggage that they think come with a relationship.

I'm sure it's not that way for everyone but from what I've seen that definitely seems to be the trend.
 

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Winning
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I can only speak for myself here, but i have a feeling its true for many of us - and that is if we didn't have SA as a barrier then we likely would have a significant other. Its human nature, if it wasn't then there wouldn't be almost 7 billion people on this planet!
 

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Viva La Raza!
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being in a relationship is too much of a hassle. i wish i could have a sexual relationship with a woman without her getting too attached but women get too damned attached
 
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