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Can anyone relate to this...?

I envy non-SA people when they see people they really like and to whom they feel attracted. They seem to remain so cool and in control. My bestie and I bumped into a group of guys the other day and one guy talked to her. It wasn't clear to me that she really liked him - indeed, she gave the impression she really didn't like him. I was shocked when she confided in me that she really liked him because she remained so cool and detached around him, giving absolutely nothing away.

With me, it's the complete opposite. Whenever, I see a guy I really like I freeze-up, stare at him, double-take at him loads of times (which I'm told is a real give away that I like a guy) and generally act like a clown.

Many times, the guy who I like instantly recognizes my attraction signals and just feeds off it regardless of whether he likes me or not. I've had many guys who haven't liked me work me out instantly only to feed their egos with my affection and play games with me. :mum

I wish I could conceal my feelings more and remain cool around guys I like. Not fair!
 

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I understand what you're saying, that's my best friend and I in a nutshell.

But I think everyone gets nervous or excited...there are people with social anxiety who can flirt in a non-obvious way, and people without social anxiety who are more obvious with their feelings.

I actually am a book nerd...so I read a book about how to flirt in a non-obvious way lol :) I'm sure there are resources if you want to learn that as well..but remember, it's not how you flirt that should give the guy any excuse to treat you in the way that you described.

I hope you find a good guy, you deserve one!
 

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When I'm around someone I like I may purposely tend to behave a bit shy to hint that I may be interested. That would of course just be a test, depending on how they respond to that I could determine how they would react to being around a person with SA. If they appear to be annoyed then its clear to try a different approach, if they blush then it may be fine to be your shy self around them.

I wish I could conceal my feelings more and remain cool around guys I like. Not fair!
I would always advise against concealing your true self. If socially anxious is a part of who you are currently then you have to find a way to get other people to appreciate it. If anything you could try basing some humor on your SA, as it is a good way to alleviate the tension.

But the main advice I'm giving here is to test how people react to your shyness. Because if it turns them off you could be wasting your time on them, but if they don't mind it you could find a way to use it to your advantage.
 

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Your problem is not necessarily a bad thing. Guys (and girls to my knowledge) like when the opposite sex are straight and don't play games. That means telling someone you actually like them and should date. You just have to learn whether a guy is being genuine or if hes just feeding his ego.

Guys actually love it when girls ask them out, I don't know why girls think the opposite. I don't know how old you are but the older you get the less bs communication games you have to deal with.
 
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