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Discussion Starter #1
Ok i have kindve a fear of being alone, i think it came from when i changed schools for a year and had no friends at all for about 3 months, before i went back to talking to my old friends in the other school. But anyway for some strange reason ill try really hard to become good friends with someone, and ill succeed. Ill get to know them really well and talk to them for months, but out of the blue ill let them start annoying me and ill completely cut off contact with them. Ive changed my group of friends 4-5 times this year. It wasnt anything drastic because everyone i switch to is connected to the other people one way or another, but it pisses me off that i do this. After all that i even start to feel lonely and wish i hadn't had done that. I guess i just feel like i get tired of them and wish that i could start new or go back to the other kids.
And on top of all this this makes some kids very angry at me. Like ill stop talking to them and then ill go talk to other people, and they get so mad one kid even attacked me.

I dont wish to behave like this, but i do for some reason and im wondering if it has anything to do with my social anxiety??
 

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just to let you know I haven't had friends since elementary school so I don't know what you'd think of my opinion, but, yes this 100 million(!!) percent has to do with your social anxiety-The only reason I can kinda understand where you're coming from is that I've experienced the same feeling, but with acquaintances or strangers-lemme give you a couple examples-

Like say if I want to ask someone, hey, where'd you get that necklace or some other question where I'm interested in something about them and want to ask them a question, I won't ask the question because I know that instead of just giving me the info I want, they'll do that but also ramble on about **** that I don't care about-I just want to know what I want to know without getting dragged into a long conversation.....

I bet that sa is a cause of this habit you have, but I wouldn't know the ins and outs-the best I can figure is the key of it is the "intimacy" that you and your friends get to having after being friends for a period of time gets to be too much for you-it's like with it being that intimate, you just need to relieve the pressure of that, you just need to go retreat and be alone for a bit, away from it, and that's why I think you rotate your circle of friends-the intimacy subconciously makes your sa kick in
 

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Chief Worrier
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Like say if I want to ask someone, hey, where'd you get that necklace or some other question where I'm interested in something about them and want to ask them a question, I won't ask the question because I know that instead of just giving me the info I want, they'll do that but also ramble on about **** that I don't care about-I just want to know what I want to know without getting dragged into a long conversation.....
i do that too! sometimes i'm really curious about someone but i don't ask what i want to know because i just want the answer, i don't actually want to talk.

to the OP: i don't do that as extremely as you seem to, but i do tend to try talking to people and then suddenly get irritated and start ditching them for no real reason. i frequently make excuses to the only two friends i've managed to keep long-term also.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
i do that too! sometimes i'm really curious about someone but i don't ask what i want to know because i just want the answer, i don't actually want to talk.

to the OP: i don't do that as extremely as you seem to, but i do tend to try talking to people and then suddenly get irritated and start ditching them for no real reason. i frequently make excuses to the only two friends i've managed to keep long-term also.
ya what you said is what i do and how it started at the beginning of the year. It just got more frequent as the year progressed.
 

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subtastic
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I also do this. I think I start to get paranoid that people secretly hate me and don't actually want me around, or I start to get anxious about the friendship requiring too much effort to maintain.
 

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stillborn
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I've done this. A group of cool grade 12's tried to befriend me, but I was so intimidated by them and super anxious around them I ended up avoiding them. I felt bad, I wish I could somehow explain to them that it's nothing personal, it's just my Social Anxiety.
 

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Omg, I didn't think the whole 'ditching people' thing I have was due to my SA, but apparently it is, and I'm not alone! =)
My closest friends from HS sorta understand when I tell them I've been ditching my "friends" from uni but not for the same reasons: they just think we don't 'click' anymore, but in reality I've gotten bored with them. After a while they annoy me and our conversations seem lame. Most of the time I wonder why I'm even with them and when I see that I'm making huge efforts to hang out, I just gradually stop talking to them. And I know it sends out the wrong message, but I just can't help myself. It's not their fault, but I don't want to have to explain myself either. After all, they're just "buddies", not close friends, so they're replaceable. Mean, I know.

That's why when I make new friends, I try to keep things going as slow as possible, so I can enjoy the time we have together before I feel saturated and feel like ditching them. >_>
 

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Starlight and moonbeams
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I can relate. I've cut off contact from people for absolutely no reason at all, other than I thought I might lose them as a friend. And bingo, I probably did.

Sometimes I wonder if I desire my own demise. Like I hate being happy or something.
 
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