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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Or probably just me, not every girl heh.

I'm finally starting to get over this guy. I hate the feeling of blindly being in love....of blindly feeling overwhelmed with feelings for someone. And seeing past all their faults and being mesmerized by it all.

Because when reality hits, when they really hurt you, then you realize that a lot of it was all superficial, a lot of it was all fake, and it starts to really hurt a lot. You feel cheated, you feel wronged, but at the end of the day, there is no one else to blame but yourself.

This is the second time I've played the role of bench warmer for a guy. The girl who he doesn't want to let go of, yet doesn't want to really be in a relationship with. So he just leaves her hanging while he fishes for better.

And then wham, one day it breaks me and I realize how stupid I am being waiting and hoping that it'll be different. But in the process, I've lost of a lot of other opportunities in the process of being obsessed with this person.

I don't know if it's low self confidence or what, but I hate the idea that history keeps repeating itself. How many guys do I have to go through this with? You would think one would learn from previous mistakes. But no, I keep putting myself into situations I hate in the name of some obscure feelings that I have for someone, and finally when I can't take the crappy way I get treated, I finally wake up and let go. It just really shouldn't take that much to make me let go.
 

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I feel very similar to you.

Forming friendships is hard enough but forming good relationships almost seems impossible.

Sometimes it's very hard not to get hurt. You invested a lot of time and emotion into the relationship and you seemed very loyal to begin with. When it comes spiraling down, it's natural to feel hurt.

I put myself into many destructive situations with guys. More than once where they would just use me and toss me away. It wasn't once or twice, it was even more than that. Do I feel stupid for putting myself through that situation that many times? You bet I do, but I'm glad it's all over.

But what I find is that the best relationships (very few of them were good and very much outnumbered by the bad) I did have started out slowly and started out as a genuine friendship. I believe that in order to avoid many of these negative relationships, it just helps to build trust first before making the commitment. And don't worry about how long it'll take, it's okay to go at your own pace to build the trust.

The right guy for you shouldn't use you as a "benchwarmer" and keep you around while he fishes for better. You definitely deserve better than that.

I hope what I said helps in any way.
 

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Why do girls always need to be hurt to get over a guy?

Cause it breaks the cord to them. ?

I'm sorry you've been hurt like that. It's human nature to fall in love. Its not wrong to feel angry either or hurt when you've been hurt.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Thanks guys for the comments. I actually have never been in a "real" relationship, so I guess the hurt could've been worse. So I guess in a sense, I can't blame the guys that much since they haven't actually "officially" started a relationship. But they would play with my mind and do things that seemed suggestive they were interested, then do the hot/cold thing. Of course, if I had a better sense of self worth, I wouldn't think much of it and move on. But because I don't and I guess I'm not used to getting attention, when I get a bit of it from someone I like, I find it hard to let go.

But after a while, I get sick of the hot/cold, and people not willing to make a commitment, but not letting me go either. Sometimes I think I just get mad at the idea of people doing that. If they are not interested, I'm totally cool with it. Everyone has a right as to whether they like or don't like someone. But to send mixed signals to someone and lead them on when you're not ready to make a commitment sucks. There is no reason to play someone. Other people have feelings too.
 
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