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Which one is more annoying, egocentric or self deprecating people?

  • Egocentric

    Votes: 49 73.1%
  • Self-deprecating

    Votes: 16 23.9%
  • Both are cool

    Votes: 2 3.0%
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
As the title goes. For me sometimes people with no confidence piss me off
 

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Gentle Impulsion
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I think either too far on one side of the spectrum would be annoying.

Too much confidence is overwhelming. Too little confidence is frustrating.
 

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sometimes kids are internally confident but extremely modest because they don't want to draw attention to themselves.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I would love to see opinion from black-and-white thinking for this one.
 

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Egocentric is the most annoying but the opposite is rather fake too. For example many Americans act like they know everything but then I see them do poorly on exams. Or they speak just a little Spanish/Japanese but claim to be fluent.

On the other hand in Japan many students will claim to have not studied hardly at all when in reality they studied all weekend. They're just bullsh*tting.
 

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Ego-centric people. It's good to have confidence, but sometimes it gets to be too much. People usually have good reasons for not having confidence. It's not like they wake up one morning and think "Well I am going to hate myself."
 

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♎ Mackinac Island Fanatic
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I'm just so used to disliking overly egocentric people that I want to say they're more annoying, but since coming to this forum I've felt more like this...

I think either too far on one side of the spectrum would be annoying.

Too much confidence is overwhelming. Too little confidence is frustrating.
I don't mind SOME self-deprecation (in fact if used right it can be an endearing quality), but those 100% negative, no-hope people just...ugh. P*ss me off in all the wrong ways. :no In fact I think they p*ss me off even more than egocentric people because I can identify with their negativity, so I know how they're feeling, but it's just too much.

The ones who do it just to get sympathy really grate on my nerves, they make the rest of us who might still have some hope left look bad.

I feel lousy judging them so harshly, since to many people I'm one of them, but I guess it's because when I used to complain that much, people would snap at me to get over it or shut up (even in my own online journal!), so I learned to keep a lot of my anger and frustration and disappointment to myself so I wouldn't annoy others. So when I see other people whining like there's no tomorrow I get resentful and feel like making them shut up like I was made to shut up in the past. Like, "I wasn't allowed to complain, so you shouldn't be, either!" :sigh

Plus it's just really discouraging and borderline insulting when you try to encourage or empathize with such a person and then they completely brush off everything you said and focus only on the negative, and sometimes even attack you for trying to be positive. That's a quick way to lose my sympathy. It's like a slap in the face.

I realize this post probably won't go over well. :( I want to be more tolerant, but like I said, I think I've gotten bitter from people not sympathizing when I was the one feeling bad. I'm only human.
 

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Unbreakable
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I try to understand everyone to the best of my ability. But I have to say, that people that often put themselves down and out loud (by that I mean people who look for any occasion to make themselves feel like less) are probably the most frustrating people. As for egocentric people. It can be annoying sometimes if is execisve, but, I find it a bit more interesting talking to people who are a bit egocentric.
 

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Egocentric people by far. One of the root causes of both egocentrism and self-deprecation is often low self-esteem. From my experiences, egocentric people tend to mistreat others far more than those who openly belittle themselves. Many of them do this in order to compensate for their low self-esteem, it seems.

Self-deprecating people can also easily become egocentric people. I used to know a guy that would overwhelm everyone around him with negativity, and was never open to improvement. He never tried taking anyone's advice, and it seemed like he always wanted to be in a bad mood. His low-self esteem was primarily because he was bullied often. Later on, he ended up getting in with a crowd of bullies (turning into a bully himself), and started to give off an extremely egocentric attitude.
 

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digging upwards
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Egocentric people by far. One of the root causes of both egocentrism and self-deprecation is often low self-esteem. From my experiences, egocentric people tend to mistreat others far more than those who openly belittle themselves. Many of them do this in order to compensate for their low self-esteem, it seems.

Self-deprecating people can also easily become egocentric people. I used to know a guy that would overwhelm everyone around him with negativity, and was never open to improvement. He never tried taking anyone's advice, and it seemed like he always wanted to be in a bad mood. His low-self esteem was primarily because he was bullied often. Later on, he ended up getting in with a crowd of bullies (turning into a bully himself), and started to give off an extremely egocentric attitude.
My thoughts exactly. Egocentric people do not have their **** together either. Furthermore, they drag others down to make themselves feel better, which makes it the more intolerable option.
 

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♎ Mackinac Island Fanatic
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As weird and counterintuitive as it sounds, since coming to this site I've seen some pretty self-deprecating people who go out of their way to take out their self-hate on others and drag those people down too...fortunately they're in the minority, but they do exist, and lately I'm seeing them more and more. I was surprised to realize this. :um I've never wanted to make my misery everybody else's misery, but I've seen some people who do.

I think even more than my earlier thoughts about such people reminding me of myself bothering me, this is what truly bothers me, when they use their self-loathing and bitterness as an excuse to treat others poorly. You'd expect people who hate themselves and have had a lousy lot in life to know how it feels to be hurt and to not want to inflict that on anyone. When they do so anyway, I lose all sympathy for them. :no (Whereas with an egocentric person, you just kind of expect them to act like jerks.)

Not trying to change anyone's mind :blush, just pointing this out.
 

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electric
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I agree with what many have already said. I voted egocentric just because it's just not really in my experience that anyone has so little confidence I could almost lose patience with them. There are ppl like that in anime (and way too many imo), but not irl. Some self-critique is actually really refreshing to see for the most part.
 

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I think either too far on one side of the spectrum would be annoying.

Too much confidence is overwhelming. Too little confidence is frustrating.
1)having or regarding the self or the individual as the center of all things: an egocentric philosophy that ignores social causes.

2)having little or no regard for interests, beliefs, or attitudes other than one's own; self-centered: an egocentric person; egocentric demands upon the time and patience of others.

Why do people think egocentric means overconfident.

I don't think overconfidence is annoying, but it can get you in trouble.

I do think that egocentric people are annoying though.

I'm not annoyed by self deprecating people. (Well it really depends, but I'm not getting into that)
 

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As weird and counterintuitive as it sounds, since coming to this site I've seen some pretty self-deprecating people who go out of their way to take out their self-hate on others and drag those people down too...fortunately they're in the minority, but they do exist, and lately I'm seeing them more and more. I was surprised to realize this. :um I've never wanted to make my misery everybody else's misery, but I've seen some people who do.

I think even more than my earlier thoughts about such people reminding me of myself bothering me, this is what truly bothers me, when they use their self-loathing and bitterness as an excuse to treat others poorly. You'd expect people who hate themselves and have had a lousy lot in life to know how it feels to be hurt and to not want to inflict that on anyone. When they do so anyway, I lose all sympathy for them. :no (Whereas with an egocentric person, you just kind of expect them to act like jerks.)

Not trying to change anyone's mind :blush, just pointing this out.
I agree w/ the bolded.
 
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