i know this is probably like a chicken or the egg thing but it's really bothering me. i'm just trying to figure out what my problem is. i guess it doesn't really matter, but i wish i knew how it all happened.
I believe I've had SA almost all my life. I was scared of everyone and everything as a child. I had very low self esteem. I don't remember exactly when my depression started, but I remember I cried a lot when I was a child. I still cry a lot and I'm 47, but I don't cry around other people. I learned not to do that in my early teens because of constant ridicule about it. And I'm still scared a lot. I believe we're all born shy and scared, but how we turn out later depends a lot on the environment we're raised in. I was raised in an emotionally abusive family with very little nurturing. At least that's the way I saw it. Maybe I was just more sensitive than everyone else. That caused me to build so many walls around myself I don't see how I can possibly break through them all.
i think SA came first. i get depressed when i spend long periods of time at home without going out. i will think of something to go do but then my anxiety will prevent from following through with my plans. so my depression is definetly due to my anxiety, but it probably just depends on the individual.
Id say SA came first for me because ive always been a shy child and reluctant to get involved with others, thats why i never had many friends in school. I started to get depressed mid teens because i knew there was something wrong with me(being afraid all time,not wanting to go out)but didnt know what. Now i know its the SA making me depressed :rain
definitely sa first... because when i feel depressed, it's always a result of something to do with sa... stuck in my apartment for 7 days straight... lonely with noone to hang out with... missed opportunities... etc etc... and usually my depression ends once the sa-disrupted event is out of sight and i've cooled off...
also... sa can worsen my depression... but depression never worsens my sa... if anything it lightens it, because when i'm depressed, i don't even care about anything anymore... "yes. fine. everyone look at the big idiot. it's me." which sometimes leads to resentment...
Depression came first for me. I was pretty active socially when I was younger but then I became depressed and withdrawn from being socially active. I somehow lost interest, lost confidence some where down the road, which set off my avoidant behavoir of not going out on weekends, not going on dates or hanging out with friends. I had experienced anxiety attacks and panic attacks in college due to a lack of social support, which I still experience. I believe that because I was never treated for my depression and didn't know how to deal with it the right way, SA settled in. If I was treated for my depression earlier on I think things would be a lot different for the better.
People who are very shy tend to avoid the situations that cause the most happiness. It is a fact that social situations are the number one source of happiness for happy people. Because social situations are unpleasant for those who have SA, they are being deprived of the single most happy inducing experience. Therefore it is almost ineviteable for someone who has SA to be depressed at least once in a while.
In other words people with SA are likely depressed as well but people who are depressed may not have SA.
My sa started along time before depression set in. I started going down hill when I was 12 - 13 but never got depression until I was in my late 20's. I've managed to kick the depression now but still have to deal with the SA
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