Hey, hows it going? I believe I may have replied to one of your PM's a while back about my recovery via zoloft.
I know what you mean about not feeling normal and living an otherwise 'normal' life. I joined a biology club at my university, I have a pt job and I'm a full time student. The thing was that I still didn't feel normal and I always felt like something was inside making me feel out of place or on the outskirts of society. My anxiety wrecked my life, I couldn't keep friends, I was afraid to do things with the friends I had and I got myself stuck in a horrible rut.
Since I started my zoloft treatment about a month ago, my progress has been amazing. I find myself going out because I actually want to, I no longer have the conversation hangups when I talk to strangers, friends or family, I've even met a few new people and the best part is I don't dwell on the things I've said or done around people. Friends and family have even commented on my improvement. I also found that I'm also more creative and my ability to learn material (particularly for school) has increased tremendously. Since then I've stopped using the Internet as much and picked up some of my old hobbies and even found a couple new ones!
Now I don't want to advocate zoloft, since I'm sure it doesn't help everyone; but I can safely say that my life has changed completely. Though I can't attribute all my success to zoloft; I do believe that it has torn down that barrier that used to prevent me from being social and feeling like I was living a normal life. I believe that the change has to exist within you and that the zoloft is nothing more than a way to let you express that willingness to change. Once your on the medication you have to do your part to avoid thinking negatively and start letting yourself enjoy the good things that happen to you. Whether that comes in the form of a therapist, friends, family or yourself--at that point it's up to you to let go of the anxiety (as scary as that may seem).
SA Survivor,
Adam
PS: As further proof of my success, yesterday I had to upgrade my cell phone plan because Im about 1 minute shy of going over my 300 minutes!