Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
223 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Something I think that really holds me back is the way people act around me, I'm sure we can all relate to the being talked down to like were stupid, or the way people act uncomfortable around us, now even though I am alot better than I was 5 years ago, I don't really have any major issues now but people still treat me the way they did 5 years ago, and I can make conversation with them but it doesn't make any difference they have there minds made up about me.

When I moved here 5 years ago I was at my peak with my SA, take the guy in the local shop for example, even now still treats me like I'm stupid and acts uncomfortable around me, or the same with my work which I also started when SA was at its peak, people still avoid me and are unwilling to talk to me and I think this just keeps my SA going, work is a major issue as i've to put up with this **** 8hrs per day 5 days a week.

I often think would a new start somewhere help the problem.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
126 Posts
I can relate to this. Wanting to control how others see us is a natural tendency for anxious people like us. If it were at all possible to control people's perceptions, we would know how to do that, or work towards doing that. Unfortunately, this desire is an unhelpful and misguided controlling strategy that we try to use to protect us from embarrassment or feeling awkward or pick your poison.

I would say, let go of trying to protect your image, let go of trying to build up your image. We can shift our focus on our self-image to things that we value. For me it's kindness, compassion, and curiosity/interest in people. These values, to me, are intrinsically good--they are good no matter what the outcome. What I noticed is that when I took a genuine interest in people's lives and let it show, they would tend to relax and be comfortable around me. It doesn't happen all the time, but if you can show openness towards people, more times than not they will become less guarded.
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Top