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2,331 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Other then "a total piece of crap", what would you call this? A poem? Would it fall into a specific category of poetry?

It just sort of came out of me a few months ago when I was really frustrated with my ex. No editing or anything, and when I read it back I like the way it sounds. I have written song lyrics and poetry before, but mainly I'm trying to figure out what the influence was for this. Where I might have picked this style up from, because it was definitely from somewhere fairly deep in my subconscious.

Sorry if I'm an idiot for not knowing.

She Never Sees It

She never sees it
That thing I want to show her
She never feels it
That thing I want to know her

I whisper first, then I shout
Explaining all
I kiss her first, then I doubt
Obliterating all

Starting over
Explain the fall step by step now
Nothing's over
Explaining cause and effect now

It's the situation I try to say
My brain
It's different when I can play
My pain

Stupid town
The nazis are everwhere here
My addiction
The nazis only live on my fear

Can't you take me away and see?
See who I can be
Can't you believe I need to flee?
See the real me

Black and white
The only colors that you see
Splitting me
The only nothing in between

I'm not like this all the time
I try to say
She thinks in good and evil
I try to play

We all fall down
Sometimes we all fall down
We all have it
Sometimes we all get up

Looking for that perfect guy
Perfect love
Looking for that perfect girl

She doesn't get it
People need to change sometimes
She won't believe it
People never really stay the same

People never change
Find them how you want them
It's in the genetics
It's wrong to change them

**** that, I said
Never give up on the one
Tell me I'm the one
The one is glad to change

She says she has to go now
OK I said
She really has to go now

I don't think she believes in me
I don't think she want's to see

Born Of Blotmonað
19,267 Posts
Given how long it is I would say it's a poem but I know very little about the various forms of poems despite the fact that I write as well. If I'm not mistaken the lyric is a form of poem but we often say it's it's own thing because it's to be sang either alone or with the accompaniment of music

4,864 Posts

That was very good... I could relate to a lot of it. Definitely should be a lyric and put to music IMHO.

making awesome awesomer
587 Posts
I usually hate poems but i honestly really like yours. You are really talented, maybe you could write music or something.
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