[nightsbyfrankocean]

one was this horrible feeling that i didn’t quite understand during my first day of school in kindergarten and also when my dads alarm would go off as a reminder to drop me off to school when i was in the 2nd grade

another was saying no to being a flower girl because being in front of everyone scared me ****less and i remember feeling kinda guilty about it years after and it’s so funny because i was like 6 or 7 years old and i set a boundary and then felt bad about it like dang

and i remember saying “i don’t feel well” when i was lined up to go to the changing room before gym class and a classmate was like “you never feel well during gym” when i was in the 3rd grade

oh also i’ve been told to stop and go back to my seat on two separate occasions when i was 10 and 11 because my voice wasn’t loud enough when i was presenting

and at some point years later i discovered what social anxiety was! and i guess i’m still in the process of reminding myself that situations like those aren’t moral failings but instead things i couldn’t control

 

[WillYouStopDave]

Well, I know I always had it because I have vague memories of it before my earliest clear memory of it, which came in kindergarten when two different incidents happened (there was probably a lot more than two but these two I just remember for whatever reason).

First day, people (parents and neighbors) made me feel excited to be going to school by hyping it up. I didn't know any better so I was excited too. However, when we got there and realized I was being left alone with a bunch of strangers, I wasn't having it. My mother has a photo of me standing there in front of the building looking very upset. Which she thought was funny and always showed to her friends when she wanted to have a good laugh.

After she left, I came back out and started walking home. I was about a quarter of the way home when she drove back by and took me back.

Later, I must not have been talkative enough or perhaps just ignored them when they spoke to me so they brought in an audiologist to check my hearing. I don't remember if they checked any of the other kids but I was very freaked out by it because I didn't understand it at all and completely refused to cooperate.

So the note the teacher sent to my mother about it is still in my scrapbook to this day. I mean, I assume it is. I haven't seen the scrapbook for ages but it's still around somewhere.

 

[coeur_brise]

I remember being shy but not anxious all throughout elementary. Then when i turned 14, I remember being the quietest person in the entirety of teenager-hood. I remember distinctly hating walking outside alone. And that continues to this day. So, 14.

 

[Tetragammon]

I have a vague memory of my first day of preschool. I was afraid of all the other kids so I hid under the teacher's skirt/dress and wouldn't come out.

Other than that I don't have many specific memories. Just the general feeling of never wanting more than one "best" friend.

 

[stronglady]

Was after my estranged husband put me down one day.It was insulting

 

[CaptainRoommate]

I would hide from strangers as a kid. I could never sleep, my stomach was always upset at school. But up until puberty, it sounded like severe shyness. I've read it gets worse at puberty for lots of kids, but I failed to try and treat it until my 20s.

 

[shyshisho]

Probably riding the school bus. I would sit quietly and stare out the window while the other kids were being rambunctious. Or the time I got invited to the birthday party of another kid in the neighborhood and stayed just long enough to give him a present and eat some cake, then ran home.

 

[Blue Dino]

Teacher: Ok class, find a partner!
Me: 😰

 

[harrison]

I was okay as a kid. I remember being petrified when we had to give a talk in a course I was doing when I was 16. I think in comparison to a lot of people here I was probably pretty lucky - I had a lot of mostly "normal" experiences when I was younger. I couldn't go to Uni though until I was older because my anxiety was very high in the lecture halls and tutorials.

 

[Cletis]

I don't remember a specific incident. I have always been shy and reserved. I was bullied and ostracized by my peers as a child so that just made the shyness much more severe. I'm still shy and reserved to this day. You never "outgrow" it, no matter what people say.

 

[Dan the man]

The 1st specific incident was when I was in 1st grade.

The teacher handed out an assignment to everybody and I did not get one. For whatever reason I had anxiety asking the teacher if she could give me one. I had selective mutism the year before. I guess I was still pretty intensely anxious about people.


But yeah I do recall she asked why I didn't hand an assignment in and I told her I never got it to which she asked Why didn't you ask then?

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

Well, I know I always had it because I have vague memories of it before my earliest clear memory of it, which came in kindergarten when two different incidents happened (there was probably a lot more than two but these two I just remember for whatever reason).

First day, people (parents and neighbors) made me feel excited to be going to school by hyping it up. I didn't know any better so I was excited too. However, when we got there and realized I was being left alone with a bunch of strangers, I wasn't having it. My mother has a photo of me standing there in front of the building looking very upset. Which she thought was funny and always showed to her friends when she wanted to have a good laugh.

After she left, I came back out and started walking home. I was about a quarter of the way home when she drove back by and took me back.

Later, I must not have been talkative enough or perhaps just ignored them when they spoke to me so they brought in an audiologist to check my hearing. I don't remember if they checked any of the other kids but I was very freaked out by it because I didn't understand it at all and completely refused to cooperate.

So the note the teacher sent to my mother about it is still in my scrapbook to this day. I mean, I assume it is. I haven't seen the scrapbook for ages but it's still around somewhere.

if u mean sort of an unsafe and exposed feeling of being in a room full of people you don’t know, i remember feeling that as a kid and a feeling similar to that still arises to this day like when it when it was my first day of work

imagining a child in your stories makes me so sad. but crazy that there was a note and photo kept! probably helps keeps that memory vivid in your mind
do you look back at it and laugh or is it still a bit painful for you?

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

I remember being shy but not anxious all throughout elementary. Then when i turned 14, I remember being the quietest person in the entirety of teenager-hood. I remember distinctly hating walking outside alone. And that continues to this day. So, 14.

hmmm now i’m questioning the language i used because perhaps the feeling i felt in those stories was shyness but i was initially describing the feeling of anxiety in social situations while not necessarily being a disorder yet. not sure what the difference is
also being called quiet was always mad uncomfortable

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

I have a vague memory of my first day of preschool. I was afraid of all the other kids so I hid under the teacher's skirt/dress and wouldn't come out.

Other than that I don't have many specific memories. Just the general feeling of never wanting more than one "best" friend.

LOL not the teachers skirt!!
why the quotations around “best”?

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

Was after my estranged husband put me down one day.It was insulting

that sounds horrible. i’m sorry

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

I would hide from strangers as a kid. I could never sleep, my stomach was always upset at school. But up until puberty, it sounded like severe shyness. I've read it gets worse at puberty for lots of kids, but I failed to try and treat it until my 20s.

yeah there was definitely at puberty was when there was a switch between that euphoric happiness you feel as a kid to this constant underlying bad feeling you can never truly shake off. i consider the peak of my life so far to be when i was 9-10 years old
i’m in my 20s now and should really get some actual treatment

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

Probably riding the school bus. I would sit quietly and stare out the window while the other kids were being rambunctious. Or the time I got invited to the birthday party of another kid in the neighborhood and stayed just long enough to give him a present and eat some cake, then ran home.

i remember going on a field trip for band the kids from my class all paired up with each other and i was left to sit alone because i was no one’s favourite and it made me really sad and anxious about how i looked sitting alone and a classmate from another seat asked if i was okay
also it saddens me that i never get to be rambunctious even when i was a kid
awwww although sad that story of the birthday party is adorable

 

[nightsbyfrankocean]

I was okay as a kid. I remember being petrified when we had to give a talk in a course I was doing when I was 16. I think in comparison to a lot of people here I was probably pretty lucky - I had a lot of mostly "normal" experiences when I was younger. I couldn't go to Uni though until I was older because my anxiety was very high in the lecture halls and tutorials.

what changed as you got older and became able to attend lectures and tutorials? and how did your uni experience turn up?

 

[stronglady]

that sounds horrible. i’m sorry

It was and did get out which was the best option for me.Going to divorce him too,I deserve better

 

[harrison]

what changed as you got older and became able to attend lectures and tutorials? and how did your uni experience turn up?

Not a lot changed tbh but I just kept persisting with it - then I used Xanax for the presentations. Got through it eventually.