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29 Posts
Hi everyone,
I have been thinking about this for a few days now. At what point do I just throw in the towel? I will give you a rundown of my life with sa.
First of all I have had sa since I was about 15..I have had many set backs which include not getting into the marines b/c my blood pressure sky rocketed to 190 over 100 b/c I was in a large group of cadets who where all watching me; to failing my firefighter exam b/c I was just to nervous to do the drills in front of all the instructers. And of course dropping out out of college when I knew I was going to have to take speach class. My relationships have also taken a hit..I just cannot find a girl that can deal with it yet.So ya its effected my life negatively in a few ways...On the positive side of things I have managed to hold a job all these years and luckily I can leave the house and I have had some good times over the years. Right now I am 29 soon to be 30 and I am just struggling to what I should do with sa and my life. I work for Costco wholesale which is a large big-box retailer and it takes me 4 mg a day of clonazepam to just be around all those people. I come home stressed and tired..somedays I am ok..I drink just so I can dull the pain and pressure from the day.I have been doing this for a while and I know its not healthy. I know its a great job and it will pay good bucks in a couple of yours but is it really worth it? I mean this is ridiculous right? I am trying to survive in this rat race, work this sa driven job and its killing me..I do it to make my folks proud and obvioulsly to make money and have good health insurance, 401k all that stuff..At what point do I throw in the towel? I need something else I cant continue like this..I want a life..I know I can hopefully get there..but what do I do? I started a pt landscape business last year and I got a little money from it..do i try that full time and risk it not working and never being able to go back to Costco? I love to work by myself and think that would basically cure half of my sa right there.Or do I say **** it and not worry about bills or anything and backpack around the world?
So sorry for the ranting..any advice would help..positive and negative
Jon
I have been thinking about this for a few days now. At what point do I just throw in the towel? I will give you a rundown of my life with sa.
First of all I have had sa since I was about 15..I have had many set backs which include not getting into the marines b/c my blood pressure sky rocketed to 190 over 100 b/c I was in a large group of cadets who where all watching me; to failing my firefighter exam b/c I was just to nervous to do the drills in front of all the instructers. And of course dropping out out of college when I knew I was going to have to take speach class. My relationships have also taken a hit..I just cannot find a girl that can deal with it yet.So ya its effected my life negatively in a few ways...On the positive side of things I have managed to hold a job all these years and luckily I can leave the house and I have had some good times over the years. Right now I am 29 soon to be 30 and I am just struggling to what I should do with sa and my life. I work for Costco wholesale which is a large big-box retailer and it takes me 4 mg a day of clonazepam to just be around all those people. I come home stressed and tired..somedays I am ok..I drink just so I can dull the pain and pressure from the day.I have been doing this for a while and I know its not healthy. I know its a great job and it will pay good bucks in a couple of yours but is it really worth it? I mean this is ridiculous right? I am trying to survive in this rat race, work this sa driven job and its killing me..I do it to make my folks proud and obvioulsly to make money and have good health insurance, 401k all that stuff..At what point do I throw in the towel? I need something else I cant continue like this..I want a life..I know I can hopefully get there..but what do I do? I started a pt landscape business last year and I got a little money from it..do i try that full time and risk it not working and never being able to go back to Costco? I love to work by myself and think that would basically cure half of my sa right there.Or do I say **** it and not worry about bills or anything and backpack around the world?
Jon