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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
Just curious to see what situations really set off everybody's SA.

The worst anxiety I feel is when:

- Anticipatory anxiety when I know I have presentation coming up.
- The actual day/minutes before the presentation
- Ugh, those short little introductions on the first day of class. Thank god I'm done with school!
-Going out to a bar/club with my guy friends because it's expected that I make an attempt to pick up girls. I think I would be a lot more comfortable if they would just turn down the fu*&in' music a tad so I could actually hear people! When I did have a girlfriend and we went out to these places I was fine because I could just relax and have a good time. The pressure was off because it wasn't expected of me to go around aimlessly drunk and make small talk with these girls I don't even know and can't understand because Britney is yelling about how all the boys want to seek Amy.
- Having to call someone I don't know about a topic that's hard to explain. I'm sitting there for half hour trying to think of how I'm going to word this so I don't sound like a jackass.
-Initiating small talk. If someone starts talking to me I'm fine but I can't honestly remember ever striking up a convo with a stranger.

I think that's about it. I feel my SA has been getting a lot better recently. I've been taking a synergistic approach: CBT, exercise, medication: beta-blockers for presentations/meetings (helped immensely), and BuSpar for anxiety (actually is helping me quite a bit despite all the bad press), and finally forcing myself to get out there and stop this avoidance behavior.

I don't really have any issues with:

- Eating in public
- Public bathrooms. Sometimes it's hard to start when it's really quiet and there's some tall dude right next to you but I'm always able to start. No problem checking myself out in the public mirror either.
- Driving, although I rarely use my horn.
- Haircuts
- People in authority
 

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stillborn
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Some things that trigger my anxiety. Well, worsen it because it's pretty much always there;

  • Going somewhere unexpected
  • Being around people I don't know
  • People in authority
  • Being too late or too early for something
  • Birthday parties
  • Having to greet someone
  • Questions
  • Asking questions
  • Having to make conversations
  • Large crowds
  • Being complemented because I have to desperately try to complement that person back
  • Introductions at the beginning of the school year
  • People who are hyper-social and NEED to talk to everyone
 

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My main trigger is mostly high school. Now that it's out for the summer, I'm feeling better. :) But I'm already dreading going back in September!
 

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She-Wolf
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the situation that triggers my anxiety the fastest and most severe would be an unexpected conversation with a guy i found attractive or even just mildly liked.

then theres a long list of others
 

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My anxiety spikes whenever the conversation topic is about myself, especially when in a group setting. I don't want to be the subject. Talk about something else, please.

Along the same lines, any sort of informal social settings. For example, I've done some retail work and do OK dealing with customers as long as things remain work-related. My anxiety increases if they start talking to me about something personal - again, I don't want to be the topic of conversation.

Being in a new place also spikes my anxiety - like being in a part of the city I'm not familiar with, or when I first started college and had to get used to the campus... those sorts of situations... I like to be in familiar surroundings.

As bad as my SA is "in the moment", it is the anticipatory anxiety that is the worst... it just consumes me.. very difficult to deal with... Everything from presentations to simple family get-togethers triggers it in a big way.
 

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The thing that sets off my depression instantaneously is when I try to ask people to hang out, they come up with excuses to justify their 'no' and it wouldn't be a problem if it happened once, but people constantly tell me 'no' or make up excuses at the last minute to flake on me. What hurts more, is when I call and ask a girl to hang out she says 'sure' but not with a definite tone. A few seconds go by and she comes up with an excuse. Now this happens to be a girl that I really like, though I haven't told her yet and I don't want to do it over the phone, I want to tell her in person.
 

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-crowds and busy streets

-sometimes answering the phone but mostly making phone calls

-greeting people because I feel awkward doing small talk because it seems so pointless but I feel compelled to make small talk anyway. then I'm afraid that people will see through it and think I'm rejecting them and then they'll reject me as a result.

-walking past people on the street (mostly women)

-in social situations (when I'm sober) when I have to be around, meet or talk to new people

-when people look at me. mostly women (one is enough to make me anxious) or two or more men make me anxious.

-when I walk past people who are laughing (I always think they're laughing at me)

-when I walk out of the house (I live in the center of downtown in a large city. I feel safer if I'm wearing sunglasses and people can't see my eyes.)

-when people ask me questions about myself or I'm ever at the center of attention

-authority figures

-dealing with people who are mean to me (I can handle rude but not mean because mean is personal)

The list goes on.
 

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Performing any task in the presence of other people!
 

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- Sometimes I get anticipatory anxiety about things I have never done or places I have never been before.

- Being around unfamiliar people.

- Some other things I can't immediately think of right now.
 

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Your Assumptions
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When I think I've made a mistake that makes me look daft. It's usually related to tasks I do or my communications with people.

I will panic and go over the situation in minute detail, checking everything I've done. Even when I seem to have done well, it never feels satisfactory because I wonder whether I'm just not able to see my errors. At least it prevents overconfidence.
 

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001: Going out, especially if I'm alone.
002. Driving. Regardless of how many times I've taken a particular route.
003: Cashiers. No I don't want a discount card, stop asking me.
004: Answering the door/Unexpected visitors. I need time to make myself look halfway decent.
005: Family gatherings. Thankfully I'm no longer forced to attend them.
006: Speaking in class. Those little intros during the beginning of a semester scare the piss out of me.
007: Passing or Approaching people. I can't imagine what they're thinking. Likely nothing at all, but it still unnerves me.
008: Crowds. More is not merrier.

This could just go on and on, honestly.
 

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stillborn
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-when I walk past people who are laughing (I always think they're laughing at me)

-when I walk out of the house (I live in the center of downtown in a large city. I feel safer if I'm wearing sunglasses and people can't see my eyes.)
Completely for me. Especially the sunglasses thing. I guess that's another reason why I hate summer.

"Goodbyes" and "Thank-you's" make me anxious. Especially thank yous because... I don't know I can't explain it exactly. But it makes me seem rude and ungrateful.
 

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Parties - major anxiety and never talk to anyone.... it's sad
Family (or Family friends) gatherings - same as parties
Approaching strangers - unable to or I panic and get a total mental blank/fast heart beat, etc
Maintaining Conversations with most people - mental blanks, get worried I'll have nothing to say, or convo will go stale, become self-conscious... Only a few ppl, i'm comfortable with
Popular/outgoing people - intimidated by their confidence, "coolness," popularity
Attractive girls
Clubs - if i'm not high (ecstasy - I've stopped ingesting it now) or drunk, it's brutal
Groups - Groups with people I don't know, I'll clam up. Sometimes, in groups of more than 4 of people that I know well, I'll be really quiet also.

Situations I don't feel anxious:
Playing soccer - I'm the most social in this setting b/c I excel at it
Being anywhere public alone or with friends
 

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For me it's:

Talking to really confident or aloof people
Most females (I feel a lot better around guys because I'm a girl)
Getting close to people (I feel confident when I first meet people because it's impersonal, but when it comes to building emotional connections wiht people, that's when it gets scary)
Going to social gatherings (parties are okay because it's less structured)
yes those intros at the beginnings of class are terrifying.
 

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Anticipation of being asked a personal question that someone would ask you if they were trying to get to know you. I am embarrassed about who I've become so I don't like anyone asking me. Online, it doesnt bother me, it's just when these questions are asked in person.
 
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