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I don't think it's that black and white.

You don't have to look and act like a meathead, if someone knows you're willing to stick up for yourself thier less likely to want to mess with you, regardless of your size.

At least that's the way I see it.
 

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i would go for some martial arts. gaining lethal skills can boost confidence just by the fact i can kill anyone that looks at me the wrong way. the other guy can be big too, but he probably cant use a spoon to kill some one.

 

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i would go for some martial arts. gaining lethal skills can boost confidence just by the fact i can kill anyone that looks at me the wrong way. the other guy can be big too, but he probably cant use a spoon to kill some one.

Precisely. Being the wrong type of big makes you an easy target in my eyes. Benching 400 pounds isn't at all useful in a fight unless you know how to use it. Now if the guy was big, fast flexible and skilled at fighting, that's a different story and the best thing to do is not mess with that guy!

But if you use what you learn in the wrong way, it'll kill your confidence just as easily. And when people are scared of you, it's not very cool and it's hard for you to see why. Most people are unable to understand violence and are scared of it. People can talk all this game about how they could kick someones *** but when the moment comes, 90% get scared, even most of those big dudes. After being consumed and experiencing what the path of violence leads you to, I can't fathom why anyone would want to judge anyone based on if they could "kick someones ***." Unless you did it to save someone or self-defense, there's simply no legitimate purpose for violence.
 

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The b**** is back
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I think quiet confidence beats outward "beef" any day. I get far more respect and positivity from people on days when I can walk straight and my head's up and I look people in the eye. And I'm small and a female.

If I meet a big beefy guy who is acting showy and pushy and a guy who is small but quietly confident and only speaks when he actually has something real to say, I'm more likely to assume the first guy is the insecure one.
 

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Still Running
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A lot can be said for the one that just doesn't give a S**** too, although that may be on the negative side. If you are wanting people to treat you with respect then I think pyramidsong hit it on the nail. "I think quiet confidence beats outward "beef" any day"
 

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baby you're a lost cause
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Ppl love loosers, they are so eager to make them feel welcome in the school and the workplace.
 

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The b**** is back
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Dude, I don't mean to make a personal attack, but there is often a lot of negativity and aggression in your posts, it almost seems as if you aspire to be one of the bullies. I know this might seem like an appealing notion to someone with SA who feels powerless but it's possibly not the best approach for your long term mental health...
 

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The b**** is back
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But that's exactly it. By mimicking their aggression you're lowering yourself to their level. I'm not saying don't defend yourself, but violence and vigilantism really don't solve anything. I feel true power comes from refusing to engage with small-minded people. Don't play their game.
 

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She-Wolf
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that isn't at all an accurate representation of real life.
i'm trying to think of examples throughout my life where i've actually witnessed what you've described and i can't think of anything other than the childish bull**** that went on in junior high.
 

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Buried at Sea
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Sometimes I go to the beach and kick sand in nerds' faces.
 

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Born Of Blotmonað
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I think the core of what you're saying does exist in a much more subtle manor as you get older. It's amazing what people can do within the subtext of conversation as well as what they can communicate through body language. This is where I think it can be tough, particularly for those who aren't skilled in witty retorts. As far as body language goes your first communication in the manor is your appearance, that's why makeovers suggest such a change of character even if all traits remain the same despite the new look
 

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She-Wolf
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i dont even mean that it doesn't happen to me personally. i just don't witness it because in the "real life" so so much else matters beyond that tough guy physique and whatever you are describing.
 

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baby you're a lost cause
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
I think the core of what you're saying does exist in a much more subtle manor as you get older. It's amazing what people can do within the subtext of conversation as well as what they can communicate through body language. This is where I think it can be tough, particularly for those who aren't skilled in witty retorts. As far as body language goes your first communication in the manor is your appearance, that's why makeovers suggest such a change of character even if all traits remain the same despite the new look
Just as i became sick of this thread, someone comes and understands what im saying, that feels good...
 

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Just as i became sick of this thread, someone comes and understands what im saying, that feels good...
I hope i didn't sound negative, i didn't disagree with what you were saying, but frankly being big and intimidating has only so many advantages. Normal interaction should be respectful regardless of strength and social ability, but its not, bullies are actually weak and cowardly, they look for the chance to make themselves feel big so they attack anyone they can. If your big and obviously not an easy target they will be less likely to pick on you, also they will show some measure of respect, not because they actually like you, but because they fear you(people like that don't understand any other kind of respect).

Its guys that behave this way, but that's not completely true, when girls have such an ability they can abuse it to. which brings me to a story i read, an article about being marries to women bodybuilders. So this guy finds this women attractive and she finds him the same even though she is much stronger then he is and they get married. It seems good, apparently it had advantages to being with a such a strong women, but they would eventually get in to arguments, and this guy is not as confrontational as the women, so he gets physically smacked around by his wife. This kept happening to the guy so he confides in his brother about his problem. well his brother decides to go and confront the women about her behavior. He confronts the women and criticizes her, she doesn't like that and give him a warning, he retorts back that he's not weak like his brother and is not afraid to fight her, so she proceeds to grab the guy, lift him over her head and body slam him on the ground, the brother leaves limping, end of argument LOL :D.

Ninja abilities would of made quick work of that women, but i'm being silly :b.
 
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