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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
like the tittle says. what is your definition of socializing? i'm just curious. i'm trying to understand how people with SA perceive this and why it's hard to over come it?
 

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Idk I thought about looking up the definition then forming my opinion based on that, but I figure based on the reason you started this thread I should just pick my brain.
So here it goes,
I see socializing as being with people (talking etc for the sake of just being with them)
.. wow that was a quick break down. almost wish I had more to say.
 

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fellow human
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Socializing to me is a skill that should have been acquired in kindergarten, but was not for some reason(?). And now that I am an adult, I am unable to go back and learn how to be social because society won't allow for it. And also because I will never "learn" it well enough for it to become natural.

I think it's a skill that is as simple as: Being interested in someone because they are attractive, funny, strange. And then acting on that interest in some way through body language, conversation, humor, etc.

I have trouble determining what is a genuine interest because I don't know myself well enough to know what interests me, and also I cannot act on an interest because anxiety causes my brain to explode.
 

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Your Assumptions
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I see socializing as occurring to an extent in most, if not all, human interactions. To socialize effectively, the primary requirement is to have a decent connection to the group or hive mind through non-verbal communication (i.e., body-language etc.).

Some professionals use the internet as an analogy for this; most people are connected to the rest via broadband, whereas a few are connected via dial-up or not connected at all.

There are parts of the brain designed to effectively join up with other brains via non-verbal communication. Those who cannot join up miss out on many subtleties of human communication and find themselves unable, for example, to grasp the point of small-talk, to initiate and sustain interactions, to read the subtext present in all social communication, and to generalise implicit rules and apply them to different contexts.

Because almost every activity in society involves communicating with others, those with even subtle deficits in non-verbal communication can be disabled across multiple domains of functioning. They are effectively operating as single brains to varying extents in a society designed around how most brains are capable of interconnecting.
 

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People knowing who you are. Going to places. Hanging out. Even appearing on sites such as Facebook and adding people. I've no idea how to use that site and deleted my account before I even begun.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
I see socializing as occurring to an extent in most, if not all, human interactions. To socialize effectively, the primary requirement is to have a decent connection to the group or hive mind through non-verbal communication (i.e., body-language etc.).

Some professionals use the internet as an analogy for this; most people are connected to the rest via broadband, whereas a few are connected via dial-up or not connected at all.

There are parts of the brain designed to effectively join up with other brains via non-verbal communication. Those who cannot join up miss out on many subtleties of human communication and find themselves unable, for example, to grasp the point of small-talk, to initiate and sustain interactions, to read the subtext present in all social communication, and to generalise implicit rules and apply them to different contexts.

Because almost every activity in society involves communicating with others, those with even subtle deficits in non-verbal communication can be disabled across multiple domains of functioning. They are effectively operating as single brains to varying extents in a society designed around how most brains are capable of interconnecting.
great post. you have very good points. they clearly make sense to me.
regarding non-verbal communication, if i think back i to my teen years, i started 'forgeting' this skill when i completely isolated myself from my whole family. by that i mean staying most of the time in my room while my family where in the living room watching tv, idle talking, or playing board games. so for me to start socializing again, i would have to aquire these skills first and not jump the gun from a state of isolation (even though i work i isolate myself from people) to going out and talk to random people. at least not at the beginning. logic tells me if one wants to learn something they have to start from the beginning and i believe the beginning steps to socializing are non-verbal communication skills and for the brain to learn to 'join up' with the rest of the crowd.

based on the mentioned logic no matter how many times i go out and talk to random people i will not master the social skills unless i learn this non-verbal skills first. e.g. i while back when i had a lot of free time in my hands i use to chat for a few hours. i few times i remember where at first i was 'confused' at what the people where talking about but after time my brain would 'joined in' and i would feel at ease, focused, and unconfused. i made more online acquaintances in this state of mind then when my brain was out of focus.

kniwing now that i have Avoidant personality disorder and enlightenment from this post i now have a key step to my game plan. thanks.
 

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Born Of Blotmonað
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I see socializing as occurring to an extent in most, if not all, human interactions. To socialize effectively, the primary requirement is to have a decent connection to the group or hive mind through non-verbal communication (i.e., body-language etc.).

Some professionals use the internet as an analogy for this; most people are connected to the rest via broadband, whereas a few are connected via dial-up or not connected at all.

There are parts of the brain designed to effectively join up with other brains via non-verbal communication. Those who cannot join up miss out on many subtleties of human communication and find themselves unable, for example, to grasp the point of small-talk, to initiate and sustain interactions, to read the subtext present in all social communication, and to generalise implicit rules and apply them to different contexts.

Because almost every activity in society involves communicating with others, those with even subtle deficits in non-verbal communication can be disabled across multiple domains of functioning. They are effectively operating as single brains to varying extents in a society designed around how most brains are capable of interconnecting.
I think this is a good interesting description too
 

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Socializing to me is a skill that should have been acquired in kindergarten, but was not for some reason(?). And now that I am an adult, I am unable to go back and learn how to be social because society won't allow for it. And also because I will never "learn" it well enough for it to become natural.

I think it's a skill that is as simple as: Being interested in someone because they are attractive, funny, strange. And then acting on that interest in some way through body language, conversation, humor, etc.

I have trouble determining what is a genuine interest because I don't know myself well enough to know what interests me, and also I cannot act on an interest because anxiety causes my brain to explode.
:ditto
I couldn't have explained this any better
 
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