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Does anyone have a sort of "defense mechanism" for coping with SA? For me, it's spending hours going over all the "what ifs" in my head and finding a solution to every possible outcome of a situation.
 

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Excuses to avoid situations.
 

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Does anyone have a sort of "defense mechanism" for coping with SA? For me, it's spending hours going over all the "what ifs" in my head and finding a solution to every possible outcome of a situation.
This is a big one that I am struggling with too; I figure that I won't be anxious if I know what to do in every single possible situation. Now, I am learning to let go of that and instead focus on relaxing instead of attempting to control the situation via that mechanism. It seems that something happens that always surprises me even if I try to think of every possible outcome, and it only tends to increase my anxiety about the situation, so I am working on just dropping it.
 

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Sometimes I'll avoid situations, go over situations in my head, find something to occupy my attention(like looking at random things instead of interacting), and not talk. I'm sure there are more, but I can't think of any atm.
 

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I also try to avoid social situations that I know would be very awkward and uncomfortable, though I know I can't always run away from them. Also, though it is a work-in-progress, I'm really trying to be more appreciative of what I DO have than thinking about my lack of social skills.
 

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I turn from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde is always angry and keeps me up all night and morning pacing around in adrenaline-induced rage. Mr Hyde also listens to music when he appears.
 

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Mine is obsessing over my hobbies and school work. I rather study or sit by myself drawing / playing guitar, than go out and risk more embarrassment.
 

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What are my defense mechanism or self-defeating behaviors for my SAD?

1) :lurk Pretend I'm heading somewhere else if I get too anxious to approach people.

2) :tiptoe That way no one notices me.

3) :help Over read on self-help material instead of taking action on exposures.

4) :door

5) And for really drastic measures: :flush.
 

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If I indulge my SA and think about all the what-ifs, I can talk myself out of doing anything and everything. While it's nice to have a healthy amount of thought prior to engaging in an activity, I've found that I need to act before all those what-ifs run through my head and hinder me. Just do it is a good motto for me.

I also use self-depracating humor to deal with my self-esteem issues and awkwardness. I rather laugh at myself than get depressed and let the world see me as superserious and miserable like I am.
going through all the what-ifs is my specialty.

provides hours and hours of fun really.. :rain
That's interesting because in the book Feeling Good Handbook by David D Burns MD, there's a chapter on social anxiety that describes the "What if?" technique. It deals with both negative predictions and our catastrophizing of them.

Basically when you have them, you ask "what are the worst possible consequences of this? What if they really did happen? Why is this so awful? Why is that so important to me?" or any questions similar to that. If you think of more negative predictions from your negative prediction you ask the same or similar questions until either you realize how unrealistic your predictions are or you finally reach the most extreme negative prediction.

If you do reach the most extreme negative prediction at the end, ask yourself "how likely is this going to happen? If it does happen, can I live with it?"

I tried it out myself and it was quite effective! I would go into more details but right now I'm a bit tired so maybe another time.
 

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Sarcasm or getting ppl to laugh. I feel like if theyre laughing or think I'm charming theyre usually not realizing Im not really making eye contact or that my hands are shaking.

That or be a b*tch.
 
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