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What is your biggest social nightmare?

3K views 42 replies 36 participants last post by  teapriestess 
#1 ·
Create a scenario of your biggest fear? Something that could happen in a social setting that would absolutely just make you want to crawl in a cave and die. Or if you have an actual true story, share with us. Humor = healing. :b
 
#3 ·
Lunch with coworkers: Two bosses, two coworkers, one new person who just started that day, and myself. So during the course of the lunch, they find out I don't know how to order, they point out how I have no friends, the new guy has no trouble joking and talking with everyone, the other two coworkers (though younger than me) clearly have more life experience than I do. Some other even more degrading things happened, but I don't care to get into them.

This memory was kind of depressing for me, so I've included a picture of a dog wearing a business suit:
 
#6 ·
My worst fear in a social situation is for someone to see me as the weak link socially and to pounce on it to point me out and just generally torment me. I know many of us have been through it. Its like they sense your fear or even just your being uncomfortable and they harp on it whether they kind of attack you and degrade you or they continually point out your awkwardness. For example "why are you so quite, why aren't you talking, are you bored, are you just to cool for us, why aren't you drinking, why are you just sitting here, etc etc etc... its like could you make the situation any more uncomfortable. Why can't i just chill and you just go away why do you need to harp on what i'm doing. And it just makes me that much more uncomfortable you know. I know that most times they are just trying to get me involved in the party or whatever but it just makes things worse. But the worst thing that ever happened to me before is that the guy that was at the party whom i really didn't know he was like an acquaintance of one of my friends, was pretty drunk and he decided that my being shy and quiet was me acting like i was to good for every one and he just got really hostile which in turn caused the whole party to come to a screeching halt and to totally focus on kind of defending me which was nice but then the spot light was totally on me and i really did want to just fade into the back ground. I felt like i was a cause of like unnecessary drama and was just embarrassed. Ah the joys of social anxiety and just being totally misunderstood
 
#9 ·
Being around guys in general. I'll never forget the 1 time that ruined it all for me- I'm kind of heavy, and I do my best to hide it. I was at art class in 6th grade doing my project when my crush (who was very popular) told me I had more rolls than a bakery, chins than a chinese phonebook...etc. and kept going with all the mean fat jokes. This general bullying he kept at caused me to feel embarrassed and ashamed whenever I'm around any boy I'm not related to. If I'm forced to talk, all I do is stutter, blush, and hide my face. And not in a stupid girly way either.
 
#10 ·
That would be tripping over and having lots of people watching. I'm always doing that - I trip over when someone looks at me and it makes them laugh but I go red with embarassment. There are some true stories from my past about this. Awful.
 
#14 ·
Pretty much any social situation where I get singled out. I absolutely hate it when someone just feels they have to point out the painfully obvious, that I am being quiet, shy, etc. Okay, and? I don't think people realize that going up to someone and saying that, is basically an insult (at least I take it that way), because they obviously don't agree with the way you're acting and think you should be doing something else. If you went up to them and said "Hey, why do you talk so much?" I'm guessing their reaction isn't going to be positive either, but they never seem to get that. Anyway as others have said that's pretty much my worst nightmare, being that "weak link" in any social situation and getting called on it.
 
#26 ·
Steelmyhead, I've had almost that same scenario happen to me :( That picture was hilarious btw lol



:ditto I've never understood why people think it's ok to do this, it just makes me feel that much worse and awkward. I've avoided situations just for fear of that happening. They think they're helping (I guess) but that could not be farther from the truth.
 
#16 ·
Being two laps away from the finish line in boot camp and trying to jog the rest of the way, my lungs about to burst and my vision beginning to grey from lack of oxygen and my body about to collapse from pain due to microscopic fractures in my leg bones, all while having the 79 other people already at the finish line doing non-stop intensive push-ups, groaning and moaning in agony and displeasure at my less-than-commendable running pace. The worst kind of physical, mental, and emotional pain. My division commanders were also yelling in an extremely hostile and less-than-encouraging manner, which wasn't helping.

I knew something was wrong with my legs, but because of SA, I never went to the hospital. I wanted to stop running, but then everyone else would've suffered and I would've gotten a bad mark on my record for stopping, and I would've had to do even more laps for stopping as well as getting the entire division punished. If I kept going, I took the risk of collapsing and physically breaking my legs. Which is what happened when I finally reached the finish line.

Then, I got sent to the hospital, and was later discharged as a combined result of my leg injuries and my SA. Permanently discharged.

That's the worst kind of social nightmare. Too bad it actually came true.
 
#19 ·
My ultimate worst social nightmare happened near the end of my last job. We'll just say it was a restaurant setting.

I had been there a few years and was actually not doing too bad. Oh, I hated it but I was capable of doing everything I needed to do and I was only ever really put in the spotlight every now and then.

Anyway, we had just gotten a new boss and he decided to promote me to management. I thought it was great because I believed all that crap people told me about being able to do anything you set your mind to and just having faith in myself and so forth. I did kind of have some misgivings but I accepted the promotion anyway. Come to think of it, my SA would have probably prevented me from asserting myself enough to refuse the promotion.

So anyway I already knew how to do most of what I needed to do but running the whole place for a shift was a big job and I wasn't anywhere near ready for that. So at the end of every shift I worked, I had to count all the money from that shift and make a deposit. Which sounds easy but .........

A - I'm a complete idiot who has a hard time with simple math.

And

B - They had this weird system of doing it that confused the hell out of me (I'm easily overwhelmed by anything complicated).

So I tried to get other managers to help me out, hoping I'd get the hang of it eventually. Nobody would help me so I ended up taking hours to do what other managers did in about a half hour. So I could always hear them in the background making jokes about how stupid I was and so on. These were people I had respected and done many favors for before I was promoted. In the meantime, the boss started harassing me. He'd walk by me and kick my shoe and call me names or he'd walk by and push me and pretend it was an accident if I said anything.

Not only that but I wasn't doing the job a manager was supposed to do. They had me dressed as a manager but still doing my old job for the same pay. And every now and then, this jerk would walk by me and do something to piss me off and then pretend he didn't do anything. I have no idea why. I think he really didn't like me all along but just pretended he did for a while to get me to trust him. I know it sounds crazy but it was like he was playing some kind of messed up game with me that he'd planned. I guess he thought it was amusing or something. I have no clue.

So, finally, one day he walked by me and shoved me so hard I flew back about 3 feet and called me some random name in a low voice as he did. I'd had it. I told him if he pushed me one more time we were going to have a problem. So he walked right up to me and did it again. He'd called my bluff. At that point, I was either going to have to keep kissing his butt and letting him bully me, hit him or quit. I wasn't about to get into a fight with this man over his attitude and a crappy job so I left and never went back.

So anyway, the nightmare aspect of it was that I had a complete breakdown in my confidence. I made a complete fool out of myself by thinking I could do a job I should have known better than to accept. I had people openly making jokes about me and mocking me (The jokes and taunts were about things I'd always been self conscious about and tried to keep well hidden). And to beat it all, I lost the job I could have just kept if I'd been smart and turned down the promotion. It wasn't much but I was at least making money. And finally, I'd basically destroyed my chances of getting another job. That was the only job I've had since my early 20s and there's no way that man was going to give me a good reference. And also, it seemed to confirm one of my deepest fears about the world. And that is that they're always waiting for a chance to destroy you for their amusement. Or just for the hell of it.
 
#20 ·
this actually happend to me in real life and its up there with my biggest fears :

a friend invited me to his works christmas party in this club in the city centre. so i went along with him and was sitting at a table with him and about 5 of his work colleagues (who id never met before). and i started to feel really anxious and i went silent. i felt so uncomfortable and my silence and awkwardness began to rub off on the rest of the group, they started feeling a bit awkward and they too went silent. now becasue everyone was silent they could notice my silence and the way i looked so awkward (when they were talking they were focused on the conversation therefore i could hide away in the corner, but when they were silent they had nothing to focus on therefore they could notice me )

so we are all sitting there in silence just looking at each other awkwardly not knowing what to do. it was painful and each second felt like a minute. one of the woman obviously wasnt used to this weird atmosphere when socializing so she didnt know what was happening. she looked at me and sed '' what the f@cks going on ?'' as if she was freaked out by the whole thing

that was a pretty awful experience
 
#22 ·
A party. just a party. being invited, and actually attending. Just showing up there, with all my appendages feeling like big tree trunks, just hanging off my body. and my head, so tiny that I can't keep one thought in it. I mean, what are you supposed to do at those things?

Yes yes, I know, small talk, small talk. blah blah blah.

Of course, part of me wants to be invited to *everything*.
 
#23 ·
Going to a party or something with tons of people and not knowing anyone and just walking around terrified trying to find a famillar face, feeling like everyone notices how you are all alone. Why I avoid dances and such unless I actually go with people I know...
 
#24 · (Edited)
I went to a Birthday party by myself. I wrapped a gift and made myself go. I came late hoping to just blend in. Well, I heard karaoke music and singing going on, a group of people were gathered having fun. A new song started." Twist and Shout" by the beatles. Then the chant started, "New guy sings! New guy sings!" My heart raced as I took the microphone. I did it! They liked it! They wanted more. Well I just wanted to curl up and die. I couldn't stand being the center of attention. I hate to be gross, so stop reading if you get grossed out. My body reacted as well. I went to the restroom right after to find I must have sharted during the song or after. I hope no one realized it. My heart is pounding as I'm typing this. (Sharted is a word that describes two bodily finctions.) (sh**and *arted) :eek: My neice told me about that word.
 
#27 ·
I have 2.

1) Giving a presentation to an audience and when I open my mouth, no words come out except a croak. I hear a few gasps in the audience and everyone is staring at me and uneasy. At this point I'd probably leave.

2) Talking to a stranger who is a female.
 
#28 ·
Well, I dunno about creating a scenario but here goes all the marbles.

So this guy is invited to go with his mother because she is going to visit her friend.
Upon arrival its more like a party or a family and friend get together. People are doing the socializing thing with all of the crazy words being pulled out of thin air, accompanied by facial expressions, hand gestures, and a laugh here and there. The house is crowded and he cant imagine taking a step inside.
This guy stands in the foyer like a dumb mute unsure what to do. He is eventually invited in and finds a seat. The bibble continues and occassionally a question is thrown his way, he finds an answer and then they continue to ignore him.
Anyways, all night he is prodded with more and more questions and each question drives him deeper into a dark unfamiliar place and he cant find the words they are looking for. The distress grows and hes sure its obvious and probably doesnt look good and he cant shake it and feels so stupid and mental and retarded and handicapped but cant leave, so he just sits there and daydreams about all kinds of things to stay occupied.
The food is served. A whole lotta food, a smorgasbord, a buffet, a pot luck thingy. And hes allergic to pretty much all of it. He simply says no thanks and takes some salad. People keep pressuring him and a simple no isnt enough and his mother is telling him its rude to say no. An explanation doesnt suffice, but hes left alone to his salad. Somehow the salad has become contaminated with trace amounts of the allergen, he says nothing, and drinks his water. The questions start up again, are you not hungry?
After dinner he is allowed to sit in peace until the party ends and they go home.
 
#31 ·
Has anyone ever been to a social event knowing only a few people, and each person are engaged in conversation with strangers which leaves you feeling like the third wheel? It's happened to me heaps of times, plus I'm fairly sure that each friend would feel uncomfortable that I wasn't joining in and participating in convasations. I want to leave merely because I don't want to make my friends unconfortable and just walk away without telling them, finding something else to do until they're done. Although doing that in itself is inconsiderate and rude and leaves terrible impressions on your friend's friend. Sometimes I do things without telling anyone just because I'm afraid of raising my voice just to ask them, then people get pissed off at me and calling me rude... when the truth is I just didn't want to bother them with petty things.

Anyway, doing that is extremely awkward, but I think it's better than one time when I had a convo with a stranger (not initiated my me) only to overhear later that I was boring. Just because I overheard something behind my back doesn't make it any less hurtful to hear.
 
#32 ·
Has anyone ever been to a social event knowing only a few people, and each person are engaged in conversation with strangers which leaves you feeling like the third wheel? It's happened to me heaps of times, plus I'm fairly sure that each friend would feel uncomfortable that I wasn't joining in and participating in convasations.
I've had it happen some. What I've done is just figured out what sorts of events this tends to happen at and I'll simply decline to attend (when I'm given a choice). It's basically impossible to do it without hurting some feelings here and there and maybe seeming a little rude sometimes but it's the best solution I've come up with.

Often what I'll do is see the invitation coming and avoid it. Almost any distraction can work but it depends upon how determined the person is to invite you. Unfortunately, my sister is always doing this to me even though she knows I'm a recluse. I guess she feels sorry for me or something. She's tried to set me up on blind dates and all kinds of stuff. I think my mother encourages her to do it a lot of the time.

Anyway, when I hear people talking about some upcoming social event, I make myself scarce before they have a chance to invite me. Hopefully, they won't see me slipping away.
 
#33 ·
One fear I've had is getting yelled at in public by someone I barely know or don't know at all for something I've done wrong. I think it would make it even worse if I had no way to get out of it for some reason, such as if it was at a job. Another fear is being chosen as a "victim" by some jerk to play a prank on. You know, the people who harass unsuspecting members of the public while recording it to upload on the internet? Ugh, how embarrassing that would be.
 
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