[its_Rob]

I feel like I'm stuck. I thought I was getting close to beating SA but I'm not sure. When ever I talk to people I feel almost nothing, any anxiety I feel is incredibly small, almost not there. The problem though is that I still cant talk to people. I dont know why. Last year when I came to my school, my anxiety was intense, I felt terrible anxiety every day, the whole day at school, and it would get worse at lunch. This year, I feel better, I can eat lunch and I dont suffer from anxiety the moment I walk in the door. I even sit with a bunch of people at lunch now, including some hot girls . I just cant talk to them or anyone else. When ever I do, I feel like something is blocking me. I feel like my old anxiety is in me stopping me from being social but just not as intense as it used to be.

The only time I feel any large amounts of anxiety is when I do presentations. On monday I did 2 presentations. The first one was for english class and it was pretty bad. I was stuttering badly, mixing up my words, and forgetting things to say. The second presentation was for my senior project. I did not feel much anxiety and I could speak normally.

Basically I think my brain is somehow trying to block anxiety but I think my brain is also blocking me from being social. I need to talk to my teacher for my one last project but there is something that makes me not want to talk to him. Perhaps my anxiety has trained my mind to not like being around people and to do anything to avoid them.

I cant be myself anymore. When ever I talk to people, my voice goes monotone and I can never carry a conversation. My mind goes absolutely blank. I cant even tell myself to say something.

I dont know what to do. I dont even know what the **** is wrong with me. After I leave to go basic training I probably wont ever see my old friends again. I dont know if I can make friends the way I am now and I dont want to be alone anymore.

 

[shyvr6]

You will probably make some friends in the Army. You definitely won't be alone during basic, heh.

 

[danstelter]

So it sounds like the anxious feeling is dying down, but you are still having a tough time actually breaking ground and breaking out of the anxiety? If this is case, all you can do is take the risk and live with the outcome, whatever it might be. There is nothing left to do but to just do things. You'll have plenty of opportunities later on in life, and plenty of chances to make friends in basic training, but why not start now while still in school? That will make things easier later on. You sit with hot girls, just talk to them and see what happens! Just do it, report the results here, and let us know how we can help you!

 

[Catching Fire]

I know what you mean about not being able to say anything and not feeling like yourself sround others. My voice also goes really monotone when I talk to people and I get made fun of alot for it.

My advice would be to go with what danstelter is saying and take some chances as hard as it is. You also need to put some of the burden off of yourself. Remember that comversations are a two way street and your not responsible for the whole thing. Sometimes there really will be nothing to talk about and thats ok. Are you involoved in stuff at your school?

 

[its_Rob]

I'm trying to talk to people but I just cant say anything. People can talk to me and I will just give them a blank stare until they ask me a question. I only say something when some one asks a question. I cant for the life of me do anything to keep the conversation going. I know it's a 2 way street but it's always the other person doing the talking while I sit there and say almost nothing. When I talk to my friends on xbox live, I have more personality, no monotone voice and I can be myself but if I'm talking to someone face to face I go back to saying nothing.

I want to talk to other people but the problem is me not being able to talk. I dont know why I cant talk, my mind refuses to cooperate and say something. I dont do any activities at school and my last day is next thursday so I'm pretty much out of time to talk to people. I'll try to talk to people tomorrow.

 

[erdecis]

Oh, don't worry about being alone, at least at Basic and AIT (ditto shyvr6) - you'll have very little time to yourself, with the "battle buddy system" and all With all the different people there, you're bound to make some sort of connection with someone, no matter how fleeting and temporary it may be.