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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
...if I am an eccentric guy in the sort of dark and random way, and no doubt I am, and I have bad social skills, and they definitely were bad at least by the time I got to middle school, then how on earth would I AVOID COMING ACROSS AS WEIRD, CREEPY, OR PATHETIC?
A quick recap so you know where I am coming from: My main delusion is that I am weird (creepy/pathetic). I am so deeply ashamed that when I am forced to face the truth the loss of self worth is traumatizing. So, I'm terrified of this happening to me and get really anxious in situations where it could.

One of the main sources of proof that I am an unforgivably weird and creepy person is that other people find my personality somehow "alienating, off-putting, weird, creepy," etc., without being able to put their finger on exactly why. It's not like there's any one thing I did at some point with each person that sealed their opinion of me, rather it's a bunch of little things that add up. :blank

But now I am questioning this "proof" because there is another possibility: What if I am actually an eccentric person with bad social skills? Couldn't that explain all of the "weird" things I do that alienate, offend, or creep out others?

I know that people are weirded out by others who are too different from them. But that doesn't mean the quality in question is bad.
First of all, I know that people are weirded out by others who are too different from them. But that doesn't mean the quality in question is bad. I also know that different people do have different opinions of my weird qualities (like laughing to myself for no reason) depending on how similar they are to me. I know for a fact that there are a lot of people who have at least one or two of the same supposedly-weird qualities I do. For example, people who laugh to themselves, get easily very excited, are super intense emotionally, like sick jokes, have a morbid fascination, say awkward or random things, like musicals and really goofy things, and like perverted sexual fantasies.

...isn't it a least possible that a lot of the normal people with these eccentric (supposedly weird) qualities are actually A WHOLE ****ING LOT WEIRDER then they come across???
So then, isn't it a least possible that a lot of the normal people with these eccentric (supposedly weird) qualities are actually A WHOLE ****ING LOT WEIRDER then they come across??? Isn't it possible that they are able to moderate their behavior a little better so as not to put their more intense quirks in everyone's face??? Which would make it seem like they don't exist when actually those eccentric qualities ARE under the surface. Could it be that a lot of people, maybe even 10% or 15%, are actually, as weird as I AM? :eek: LOL, never thought I'd hear myself say that.

WHAT IS THE GODDAMN PROOF THAT I AM SUCH A ****ING CREEP ANYWAY?
WHAT IS THE GODDAMN PROOF THAT I AM SUCH A ****ING CREEP ANYWAY? How would anyone know that it's really just "who I am", and not a problem with my social skills? How dare they just accuse me, and why the hell am I just swallowing it down like it's the word of god? After all, don't we ALL want to do things much of the time that we aren't supposed to want to do, or that would make others uncomfortable, upset, annoyed, and so on??? So isn't a major part of having good social skills the ability to moderate your personality and tone it down so as to not alienate or offend others? RIGHT?

Well if I am an eccentric guy in the sort of dark and random way, and no doubt I am, and I have bad social skills, and they definitely were bad at least by the time I got to middle school, then how on earth would I AVOID COMING ACROSS AS WEIRD, CREEPY, OR PATHETIC? Without fixing my social skills and learning how to tone it down I would be doomed from the start. And it's a hard core fact that I have gotten much less "weird" and a lot more likable over the last 5 years -to the point where people have literally said "you're a likable guy". And I did that IN PART by toning down my personality a little and getting more tuned into other people's sensitivities.

Maybe I'm not weird. Maybe I'm really eccentric and I never learned how to done it down around others.
Maybe I'm not weird. Maybe I'm really eccentric and I never learned how to done it down around others. And you know why I didn't learn this when I was growing up? Because I had emotional problems and then I developed psychiatric disorders including this phobia. That's why. I never had a chance.

Could this be the final chapter of my hell?
 

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Well first off, being weird isn't necessarily a personality trait. I don't think you're weird. "Weird" doesn't really exist to me. It's more of a stigma placed on certain people by society at the time. The qualifications for being "weird" change over time, and by place. For example, I would be immensely weird (and completely inappropriate) in say, Saudi Arabia. Being weird is simply not fitting very well into the societal expectations of where you live at the current time.

And yes! I would say that you are right in guessing that there are more people out there who have "peculiar" habits or behaviors than they let on, because they choose to hide it to fit in. In fact, every single person on this planet feels something "weird", whether they choose to acknowledge it or not. Typically, when someone is "weird", it is because they are making other people uncomfortable in some way. Sometimes it is justified, and other times it is not. As far as worrying about whether you are one of the weird ones; well, I know I can't tell you to stop worrying. If it were that easy, none of us would be on this site! But what I can tell you, is even the mere fact of worrying about being "weird", is actually normal to a certain extent. Most people want to fit in, and most people worry that they'll do something odd and then they won't. I worry about it too. As with most things in anxiety, it's probably just a self fulfilling prophecy.

Most "weird" people are, like you said, simply people who aren't good in social situations. I've gotten to know some very well-liked people and, over a period of time, discovered how "weird" they actually were. They were simply good at masking it originally, or not initially giving that impression. Yes, it's unfair to be given a label simply because you struggle with social skills, but it sounds like you are starting to learn that that's what it really is, and I'm glad. It's probably just your social interactions that people are getting confused by, rather than your true personality. You don't have a defective personality, and in the end, you probably aren't any weirder than anyone else!
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Most "weird" people are, like you said, simply people who aren't good in social situations. I've gotten to know some very well-liked people and, over a period of time, discovered how "weird" they actually were. They were simply good at masking it originally, or not initially giving that impression.
Yep. That is what I am thinking. I need to design some experiments now to test these this proposition:

Many apparently "normal" people are very eccentric in at least a few ways which would be off-putting to others if they did not tone it down.
 
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