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I'm really sorry, I don't know if I'm asking this in the right forum/place. I've started like 8 topics in various forums and wound up not posting them, but I think this is right, so hopefully :boogie

I have always been introverted and a bit antisocial, but realized it's actually interfering with my life and relationships in the last year or so and only getting worse - my last job people typically realized I always had an excuse not to go out to lunch (they didn't often take breaks anyway) or whatever, but I'm at this new job now and I swear to god these people are constantly going out to eat or drink. One part of my team has lunch every effing week. The other has a biweekly happy hour. Individuals get bored and want company on lunch breaks. It literally makes me want to claw my eyes out. I typically have excuses for not going, though occasionally I'll go with one coworker who does 90% of the talking and I can just walk with her. It's not that I don't think these are fine people, but I just really don't want to do anything with them. I want my work day to pass, be done so I can get home and spend time with people I'm comfortable with and don't want to go outside of that. Weekend plans drive me up the wall. I've always needed time to decompress from social-ness, but I realized that dreading a small get-together my beloved sis-in-law is having for her birthday (in a super familiar environment with a handful of people I know to some degree) and trying to find ways to cut our time there as short as possible.

Again, I'm not diagnosed with SAD, though GAD for sure and starting to realize it may be more social-focused. I took Zoloft but found it made me much more anxious and sleepless and my body buzzed if I took it without a Xanax, and I weaned myself off of it ages ago. I did not tell my doctor. I know that's not good. However, I recognize that I need some sort of medication help, because I can't go my life constantly avoiding any innocent social situation that comes up. Hell, it scares the crap out of me thinking the neighbor kids might knock on the door to ask if my kids can go out and play. I'm sick of hiding from all of this but I have no idea what to ask for. My doc can be really flaky and forgets details, changes his approach/mind from appointment to appointment, and I feel the more specific I can be the better. I can't handle starting an antidepressant, dealing with the side effects, realizing months down the line it's not doing anything or making me feel worse, and starting another all over again. As I avoid hanging with people, I also vehemently avoid the idea of therapy. Maybe if I find the right daily med I can work up the courage to see a therapist? I'm not sure what the heck they'd do, but I'm not sure what else to do at this point, either.

Crap, I went a bit off topic. Sorry. Get the gist, at least?
TLDR: What have you guys taken that has helped take the edge off agreeing to social obligations? Is there one thing that's better than another?
 

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I'm really sorry, I don't know if I'm asking this in the right forum/place. I've started like 8 topics in various forums and wound up not posting them, but I think this is right, so hopefully :boogie

I have always been introverted and a bit antisocial, but realized it's actually interfering with my life and relationships in the last year or so and only getting worse - my last job people typically realized I always had an excuse not to go out to lunch (they didn't often take breaks anyway) or whatever, but I'm at this new job now and I swear to god these people are constantly going out to eat or drink. One part of my team has lunch every effing week. The other has a biweekly happy hour. Individuals get bored and want company on lunch breaks. It literally makes me want to claw my eyes out. I typically have excuses for not going, though occasionally I'll go with one coworker who does 90% of the talking and I can just walk with her. It's not that I don't think these are fine people, but I just really don't want to do anything with them. I want my work day to pass, be done so I can get home and spend time with people I'm comfortable with and don't want to go outside of that. Weekend plans drive me up the wall. I've always needed time to decompress from social-ness, but I realized that dreading a small get-together my beloved sis-in-law is having for her birthday (in a super familiar environment with a handful of people I know to some degree) and trying to find ways to cut our time there as short as possible.

Again, I'm not diagnosed with SAD, though GAD for sure and starting to realize it may be more social-focused. I took Zoloft but found it made me much more anxious and sleepless and my body buzzed if I took it without a Xanax, and I weaned myself off of it ages ago. I did not tell my doctor. I know that's not good. However, I recognize that I need some sort of medication help, because I can't go my life constantly avoiding any innocent social situation that comes up. Hell, it scares the crap out of me thinking the neighbor kids might knock on the door to ask if my kids can go out and play. I'm sick of hiding from all of this but I have no idea what to ask for. My doc can be really flaky and forgets details, changes his approach/mind from appointment to appointment, and I feel the more specific I can be the better. I can't handle starting an antidepressant, dealing with the side effects, realizing months down the line it's not doing anything or making me feel worse, and starting another all over again. As I avoid hanging with people, I also vehemently avoid the idea of therapy. Maybe if I find the right daily med I can work up the courage to see a therapist? I'm not sure what the heck they'd do, but I'm not sure what else to do at this point, either.

Crap, I went a bit off topic. Sorry. Get the gist, at least?

TLDR: What have you guys taken that has helped take the edge off agreeing to social obligations? Is there one thing that's better than another?
You sound a lot like how I was about a year ago. Antidepressants made me more anxious and I didn't really have social anxiety but always disliked socializing. Here's the thing, you need to decide if you want to change or not. You can learn to enjoy conversations and you can learn to be social, it takes a lot of hard work to make this change, but it's all up to you. I am at the point where I don't mind socializing and love talking to people, but I still get a lot of anxiety. I think an antidepressant could help make socializing better. I'm currently off an antidepressant and it's very hard to want to socialize, when I'm on something I'm generally happier and talk more. I tend to get more anxiety on antidepressants though.
 

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Being introverted is okay. You don't have to be a different person. Be who you are, and if that means spending Saturdays hanging out at home with loved ones, then that's just fine.

There is no need to change your personality with meds. There isn't anything that works long-term anyway. The catch-all answer from people is going to be to take stimulants but I doubt you will feel much change at therapeutic doses, and they would be temporary.

If you need to interact for some sort of social or career reason and find that you are nervous about it, to the extent it interferes with carrying it out, THEN you could try a medication. I think as-needed Xanax (alprazolam) could be helpful for that.
 
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