[childofsolitude]

So long story short, I have learned that I have less anxiety while talking with someone face to face if I'm doing something with my hands. Just yesterday, I was having a conversation with my manager and I had a piece of paper in my hand that I was playing with. I surprised myself at how much I talked especially the quality of what I had to say. And guess what? No anxiety! When I'm at work, I always notice that I put my hands in my pocket when I'm talking to someone because it seems to help the anxiety. Is there anyone else here who constantly has to be doing something with their hands when they're talking to someone face to face? And if so, what exactly do you do with your hands? The piece of paper thing worked for me yesterday but I can't carry a piece of paper in my hands with me at all times. I have an elastic band on my wrist all the time that I play with when I have nothing else to hold onto but I feel awkward reaching for it whenever I'm talking to someone. Any tips?

 

[kos]

No tips here man but I can relate. Actually just today I had to buy a slushie from the corner store before i went to the mall so i kept my hands and mouth busy that way. When someone has their hands in their pockets it indicates one of two things. 1) They are nervous or 2) They just don't give a ****. I hope I come across as the later.

 

[Efsee]

When i'm anxious it helps to do something with my hands, as a distraction. I was nervous in class the other day and noticed that I was playing with my hair, I must have looked weird. :| I do that when I'm talking to people I'm nervous around too.
You could have a pebble or something in your pocket and if you feel the need to do something with your hands you could put your hand in your pocket and hold it. It wouldn't be noticeable.

I don't even notice what people do with their hands when they talk to me.

 

[DeeperUnderstanding]

I always put my hands in my pocket in social situations. Some people have thought it was rude, but honestly I just get uncomfortable having my hands out of my pockets. I don't know what to do with them.

 

[Joseph1]

This happens because you've put all your focus onto the paper, which acts as a distraction.

Try using small objects that fit into your hands easily like:
Change
rubber eraser
cell phone
etc

 

[layitontheline]

I find that helps with my anxiety too. When someone is talking to me, I try to have my water bottle or a pen or anything to keep my hands busy. Maybe it's ideal not to have something in your hands, but if it helps you focus on what is being said rather than worrying about what to do with your hands, I don't think it hurts.

 

[AaHe]

I used to be the most talkative when I am drawing, sketching, its seems sorta rude but I can talk fine, and respond and listen better when i do it. the key is have your focus away from the normal thoughts: what are they thinking, why are they looking at me that way, do i look alright, am i talking alright, etc. keep yourself distracted from all that and you will do better,

I do that often but then start thinking well what if I seem rude not looking them in the eye which conjures up more anxiety...sometimes it seems to be rude because in America it is rude for you not to look into peoples eyes when talking.

To me I think thats sorta true maybe for job interview, but if you a friend or it just a casual discussion with a stranger then looking away distracting your mind elsewhere while talking isn't that rude.

 

[shyvr6]

I find that I can say whatever I want when I put my finger in my nose. It's like they're mezmorized by my words just staring at me with this intense look on their face like they can't get enough of my thoughts.

 

[epril]

^you are so funny you!


I pick at my skin around my thumb, not very attractive but not too noticeable while doing it. I also squeeze my thumb and index finger together or rub them together. Finally, I twiddle my toes a lot. No one can tell when I'm doing this, it's great! I consciously do this as my little secret weapon against those horrifying humans.