Part of the reason why people reject certain solutions is that the level of effectiveness depends on what overall condition you are in. Example, if someone that has general anxiety 24/7, using meditation, self talk, yoga, hypnotherapy etc. in my experience is not very effective. Like trying to put out a forest fire with a glass of water. Does this mean that these activities are worthless?? No, you may find them to be more helpful after your level of anxiety is at a more manageable level.
One thing that people need to realize is that when you are in a situation that makes you anxious or panic your body is releasing chemicals and hormones that effect the way you perceive things. This accounts for differences in thinking styles when one is in a "safe place" vs a social situation. Almost like being two completely different people. The difficult part of this condition is that the solutions to this problem is somewhat hidden. It would be perfectly logical to think "if only" I could stop feeling judged, so self conscious, or not be so sensitive then I would be able function normally in society. This type of thinking is putting the cart before the horse. The thoughts and feeling we are experiencing are not abnormal, it is that the situations that we are experiencing them in is out of context. These are part of the body's primitive, automatic, response that prepares the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attacks. Good if you are in physical danger, not so much if you are at a party with friends. If you were in a dangerous situation wouldn't you what to be hyper aware of everything that is going on around you?
I think the key is to get our nervous systems to not overreact to everyday occurrences. Trying to solve this problem by working on the symptoms is like trying to fix a heart attack by taking pain pills. The methods that I have used are fairly basic, but not easy. It has been a daily process of small improvements. My main point is that I have personally experienced feeling very self conscious, being judged , overly sensitive to criticism, depressed, anxiousness etc. and those feeling are starting to fade for the first time in long time. Not because I focused on them directly but with working at a more fundamental level.
What has worked for me??
Knowledge - Get as much information as possible on subjects like Social Anxiety, GAD, Panic Disorder, Depression, Fight or Flight, Emotional Stability, Personality Styles Ect. Check out "The Shyness and Social Anxiety Workbook" as a starting point.
Self Evaluation - Where do you currently stand, how severe is your problem. Also gives you a benchmark to check against in the future.
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/liebowitz/
Goals - What are your short and long term goals. What would you like to accomplish over the next month, 3 months, year etc. Don't worry about where you should be, accept were you are at and focus on moving forward.
Journal - Record anxiety provoking situations , symptoms, level of anxiety, avoidance behaviors.
Diet - Eliminate high sugar foods, caffeine, simple carbs, processed, junk, fast food. Add Fruit, Vegetables, Whole Grain Foods, Plain Yogurt, Oatmeal, Low Fat Milk, Lean meats, Eggs, Orange Juice, Salmon, Tuna. Make Changes over time / not all at once.
Exercise - Work up to 60 minutes+ per day. Start with 5 or 10 minutes if necessary and add time each week when comfortable.
Exposures - Start after Diet and Exercise Program is it place. Make a list of activities that you either avoid or would make you anxious. Rank from the activities that you avoid the least to the one that cause you the most anxiety. Start with the Lowest and work your way up. The important point here is to select activities that provoke anxiety, get you out of your comfort zone, but are not unmanageable. I have read many posts from people that are trying to do things that they are not ready for yet.
I am currently working on my exposure list with good results. In the future I will look into adding things like relaxation/stress reduction techniques, group sports,toastmasters among others.
Good Luck,
Brian