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I'm just curious if anyone here has actually pinpointed something that happened in their life that they believed caused them to grow up the way they did. Often certain events in your life, especially in childhood can have a big effect on you later in life. I just spent a long while basically trying to remember the events from where I was in grade school to now and figure out what exactly it was that could have caused this. Knowing this can be a big help in trying to get better.

When I was younger, in elementary school I'd always try to fit in. I did have a huge group of people who I'd do things with, go to parties and whatnot but for some reason I never felt appreciated, I never really felt like one of them. It might have been all in my head, who knows, but that's the way I took it. Despite feeling like this, I don't believe I had SAD at this point in my life - I still remember having no fear of interacting with people, or fear of being judged, or anything like that. I think that when I decided to go to a high school that these people I'd grown up with my whole life weren't going to, to "start over" that's when I started to develop SA, or maybe it was just when I actually realized I had it. Going to this new school was terrifying for me, I constantly felt nervous and anxious. I kept telling myself it will get better with time, I just need to get used to this new environment but it never did get easier.

After a few months and no friends at all I started spending all my time at home on the computer playing games. This was my escape from reality, a place where for a few hours every day I could relax and not feel anxious about anything. Well I did this for two whole years, I'd go to school rush home and go straight to the computer ignoring everything else. At the age where the average person would be out with friends socializing and having fun I was sitting on my computer being antisocial. I did this for TWO long years before I decided to leave that school and go to the high school where my old friends were and attempt to reconnect with them. Well by that time I was already a changed man, I had no social skills to speak of and I was really, really shy. I never knew what to say, even when people would ask me the simplest of questions I'd draw blanks. I'm almost positive it was those two years of confinement that made me turn out the way I am now. Those two important years where I should have been out socializing but had no one to do it with are the reason I struggle so much now.

So I'm asking, has anyone ever took the time to try and pinpoint exactly what part of their life contributed the most to their SA? What did you find out? These may also be events that you feel have contributed to low self esteem or self image as well, although - it's entirely possible that one problem can cause other ones as well.
 

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1. Slight hearing issue my whole life. At one point, my right ear was 90% deaf. As a result, people will often say something to me and I'll have NO idea what they said, so I just give a generic "yeah", "maybe", "I don't know", *chuckle* response.

2. Genetics. My mom has social anxiety and no friends.

3. Changing schools. From kindergarten through 4th grade, everyone in the grade knew me. I was the smartest kid in the grade by far. People knew me as the smart, weird, funny kid. I changed schools after 4th grade. 5th grade-8th grade wasn't too bad, but looking back, I was completely unaware that I had no friends. 9th grade-12th grade was when I was aware that I was a loser and had no friends.
 

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I can't pinpoint when it began. I've always had problems socializing since I can remember. I was the shy girl. Until I got a diagnosis as an adult, I had no idea what was wrong with me. I didn't even know that other people felt the same way I did.
 

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I've always been the shy quiet girl, but I think over time I just continuously receive negative feedback for it so I retreated inward more and more until I just developed a distorted negative view of the way people perceived me. Then I began getting panic attacks which just made me have a phobia for that too.
 

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My mother made me totally dependant on her as a kid.
(Momma's baby Syndrome):|
 

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Would definately be my dad leaving when i was younger and having never felt like he truly loves and accepts me, if my own dad doesnt.. who will? Also bullying that I experienced on and off through my high school years.
 

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My parents are complete losers they have no friends. They are Afraid of everything and extremely overprotective They are so pessimistic They constantly told me lies and made life seem so scary and cruel so All I did was hide. They always criticized me for not acting like an adult when I was a kid all I wanted to do was to do the things normal kids do. My parents never wanted to entertain me with normal things a kid should do they bored the living crap out of me. I was never allowed to decide anything for myself.

Back then I wanted to be like my dad whos a loser, a nerd, a geek, a weakling, someone who never talks to people and doesn't even know how to, rather than having social anxiety hes just extremely socially awkward. The only reason my dad didn't get bullied is because he has an older brother. I had no one, no siblings, no pets, and I got bullied to the extreme. I also changed schools in the middle of 4th grade I lost all my friends. Then I actually made new friends in 6th grade and I moved to a different school for 7th grade and lost every one of my friends again.
 

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I don't think it was anything in particular. It was partly the bullying that I had to deal with when I was younger I think. Also, I was always shy, so when I had trouble presenting in school, a couple of my teachers taunted me and the whole class laughed, etc. This is just one thing among several others that made me socially awkward and anxious.
 

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I caused it with my learning disabilities and inability to defend myself
 

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Wow, this is a good question. It was in high school of my junior year. I developed this 'feeling' that I had head tremors. My brother told me he didn't want to walk around with me because of this, and after that I noticed that a lot of my friends started avoiding me, too. For 2 years I was plagued with this thought, and pretty soon all my friends left me. After that, it was extremely difficult for me to make friends because of my head tremors. Eventually, I got rid of the thought that I have head tremors, but by now my SA developed to a point that it's extremely difficult for me to be around people.
 

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Changing schools, that and insecurity definitely. My mom also didn't help, always letting me rely on her way too much!

I remember I changed schools in grade 3 and was more reserved since I was the new kid, before that though I had NO problem talking to people and stuff and I had quite a bit of friends. Then I moved and had no friends, didn't talk as much, and I guess it just got progressively worse over the years, until grade 7 when I just didn't talk, at all.

And it's only gotten worse since then...
 

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My mum on one side with a carving knife, and my dad on the other side with a frying pan.
Me at age 5-6 in the middle.
That might have been the start,
or when I fell face down into a fish pond at age 4
Or getting run over by a bike on a zebra crossing in germany age 7...
Or getting a hernia op age 8 and al the other kids in the ward laughing at me in the hospital when the doctors did the rounds.. Ooo, we saw your thingie...
Lost memories that are blanked out
 

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Can't pinpoint one specific event but I have been shy and anxious as long as I can remember going back to age 4.

* Father was EXTREMELY anxious and Social Phobic. Mother was just the opposite - very outgoing and talkative - loved people. My father basically expected me to be just like him - and ta-dah - I am.

* Both parents were overprotective.

* Bullying issues from grade school to high school.

* Was small for my age - late bloomer.

* Was not popular in school but had quite a few friends until high school when it dropped off to just a few.

* Developed anxiety disorder in high school. This went untreated for years.

* Was basically a "loner" in college.

* Was unhappy with my looks despite being called "cute" and "kinda handsome" by many girls.

* One boss at my first job rode my case constantly calling me a loser, unmotivated, terrible attitude, etc. I was just depressed. He couldn't understand that.

I could go on...

Basically, I believe the bullying and social rejection I experienced as a kid combined with genetics and overprotective parents created this problem.
 

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Constant bullying made me paranoid.That's why I care what others think about me.I couldn't get over what happened in childhood.That's our problem.We can't get over it.
 

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^ because it has been internalized even though it was not your fault. If it is inside you then you can't get over it because you are carrying it around with you. Perhaps recognizing that anyone can be bullied in the right circumstances might help to de-internalize it (?)
 
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