[iAmCodeMonkey]

I woke up too early, too alone, and too depressed. Is it all too pointless?

Me too! hehe

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

It's too ****ing early for this ****.

There, there... "Hugs"
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Someone.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Also thinking of someone. I miss their presence.

:hug :squeeze

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

I know it doesn't really matter...life has never had a point to it, except to live it.

And since I continue to struggle doing that on my own and for myself, I'm feeling extra today.

Walked to get groceries. A beautiful day. Others living, living, enjoying. Some just survivng.

I simply exist...for how much longer, I can't say.

:rub

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Many people seem so into life... tied up in their purpose, or a higher power, or their offspring, or their cliques, or just fleeting pleasures... whatever it is that gives them that extra skip in their step...

I find it off-putting.

I do not begrudge people their happiness (more power to them), but at the same time... it kind of sickens me.

I don't blame you at all. I feel the same way, actually.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Haven't felt this depressed for a very long time.

:rub

Hang in there big guy. :grin2:

Need the motivation

:rub

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Instead of jumping 32 stories down, I'm on my exercise bike. It's not too late for me to make a better choice.

:yes

Good mindset.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Actually...I'm thinking the long final drop is more appealing.

"sigh"

Okay then.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Yeah...feeling this way is unwanted. Thanks for trying to be supportive.

No problem. I totally understand as I have felt that way off-and-on during my life. I can only do so much in terms of support on here if that matters.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

@SofaKing

:hug I think like that more than I can really count. It's awful.

You too?

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

I had a bit of an "off" day today. "sigh"

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Her. I wonder if she is even thinking of me, over there in Welland. "sigh"

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Even when my mom is hospitalized and in horrible pain, her only concern is how everyone else are doing. she's too good for this cruel world

Awww! Hope she gets better! :hugs

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Today sucks. It's gloomy here and it's been a difficult day.

I've lost confidence that I mean anything real to anyone.

Feeling irrelevant, pointless, and lost.

:rub

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Someone.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

I need a drink...

I can relate to this... sadly. :hug

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

I'm not sure I'll ever feel comfortable anywhere ever again

:rub

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

Someone.

 

[iAmCodeMonkey]

I totally want junk food.

Want some of my Lays Potato chips? :grin2: